I have bipolar disorder and Id like to ask someone professional about it. My manic episodes and depressive episodes have got worse this past year. I'll start with my manic episodes. When I have a manic episode I make really bad choices with money, what I say and take risks without thinking of the consequences. I'm usually more funny in a manic episode which all my friends seem to like, but I don't like it. Alot of the time it gets out of hand and I either hallucinate or black out and I can't remember anything I've done but I still function like a normal human. So I'm essentially unconscious but my body is still moving and interacting with things. When I have a manic episode I usually have quote high self esteem.

Moving onto my depressive episodes, in these I get really low self confidence, I over think things and they cause me to have anxiety. My depressive episodes cause me to become paranoid, my anxiety gets worse and thus my body dysmorphia gets worse which adds to my low self esteem. something else that happenes a lot is I think of scenarios that can't happen but my Brain tricks me into thinking it's real and they are usually thoughts that make me upset. I have attempted suicide once and failed thankfully however I still get suicidal thoughts even though I don't want to commit suicide. In some cases if someone says something against me about something I'm insecure about I get offended easily but I mask my feelings about how insecure I am with anger. This causes me to become way stronger and I usually lash out and punch something. I will also note that I would never hurt someone who I have a close relationship with.
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replied January 3rd, 2019
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and I understand your concern.

Bipolar disorder is a serious mental condition which shall not be taken lightly and needs medical advice and help as soon as possible. After all that you have told about yourself I think you should make an appointment with a psychiatrist as soon as possible so he can start you on medication. As bipolar disorder is a life long disease and it’s treatment is only with medications and talk therapies.
I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care
Dr Khalil
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