I am in a foreign country, far of my country. I met him online on a dating website when I was 32. Now I am 36. At begining of our online conversations, he was always so much interested in me. He was off from work to come home to see me on webcam and talk with me, so many times. He text messages on cellphone, then in one day, about a month later, he told me he has stomach pains and feel no good. I was worried for him , I asked him to go to see a doctor as soon as possibe, he said ok. Then he asked me to move to his city and he said he will take care in me in everything there, as is hard for me to find a job there. At that time, I was involved in other relationship in the city where I am now also. But that relationship was not workoing well also. I wanted something different , so I started checking a dating website where I was hit by his handsome face and look and expressive eyes and everything... The message I sent to him that time , first message online was " I will marry you " , it was as a joke from me ...... and his answer it was " I will be very lucky if you marry me" and from there started everything.

Well, then he suddenly disappeared 1 year . No online, no phone, changed everything, closed his profile online, changed the phone number after blocked me to send any message. I was sad and angry also and decided to move on. I was more more strong than now.. I moved on with my life. Then one year later, when I was in my country, I got a message from him , on my cellphone " I miss you so much " and I was extremely surprised to see it and also happy because I ws sad in that day. That day I just came back from hospital after a gallbladder surgery anad I ws really feel alone and in need of some love... this made me reply to him. I told him I am in my country and I will be back t his country soon. He said he will waiting for me ! ! ! with many exclamation signs...

I was back to his country after 3 months when I recovered. I didn't think much about him, until he texted me again in a night. Lovely, warm, so so so lovely and iresistible for a woman to be quiet at that sweet words. Then decided to meet and see each other real. He aske dme to go to his city because his work is busy . I accepted , of course he didn't said to pay my flight ticket or hotel or anything and I also did not asked for this or think about it because I had my ego too....
Before to go, I asked him if we can go to his house, to not pay hotel and to avoid hotels as I dislike living in a hotel. He said yes, sure, you come to me. I trusted him. And I was going ...

Arrived ... he was waiting for me with so big emotions and passion and everything a woman dreaming... When we met in the front of a supermarket, he was explosive happy to see me and me too and I started kissing him and he too. It was so deep connection, so match in everuthing and I felt from first sign that he is my man .
Arrived to "his house" , we spent a nice hight , even made love , wonderful moments. It was like we know each other since long time because we alredy took so many things before to met real.
Btu suddenly , after make love, he said he will go to take dinner with his friends and asked me if want to go with him. I was too tired to go and he understood I am after flight and I am tired. He didn't said, he come back after dinner. He said he come back tomorrow. He said that house is his house but he is living with his parents..... So, a lot of lies until now, but I would never image he can lie so much .
After he gone, I started check the house and got things similar with hotel things. This made me understand quikly that the house was in fact a hotel-apartment and not his house. I called him and asked him to come back for 5 mins. then to back to his friends. He came bacl and asked me what happened. I looked in his eyes and asked him why he lie me ? He becomed as a child and tried to stop me go. but I leaved him there and told him I am sorry I came there to meet him and I leaved cold and crying, of course. I had a hotel room booked before I leave from my city, just in case something will happen. It was like a prevision. Like I knew it will not be all ok there.

I was crying all that night and next day I take the flight back to my city in his country.
After a month, he texted me to say he miss me so much. I replied I miss you too, because this was the truth. I really missed him and felt so sorry for what he done to break our first meet.
Then he invited me to meet him again and I agreed and he said let be this time without talk about anything, just meet and live and spend a time together. I agreed. I know I was wrong, but I wanted him so much again. I was so inlove with him even he lied me first time. But I understood that there must be something else that I don't know yet and this made me accept to go to see him. I also told him it was bad to sy that is his house. I told him I no care if you have house or not, I care if you are honest.

That time , second meet. was wonderful. He asked me what I want to eat next day. invited me to eat together , but suddenly, next day he texted me he will go to other city for work. and feels sorry. I accused him that he only want sex and I leaved again crying from there. It was the same bad feeling as first time to leave cryng from his city and I said , ok, is the last time.

I arrived home again in my city, and started think about him and missed him so much. He contacted me again and said sorry and he said really had to work that last meet. I said ok, I understand and then he invited me to go again to see him . I arrived there on Saturday. Texted him to tell him I am already there, but he texted me Sunday evening, because this was the plan to meet Sunday... I found it weird to wait form him one day and no text from him . Then Sunday evening he asked me if I want to see his boss and his friends. I accepted, thinking that is a good sign if he want to inroduce me to someone. I was dressed very elegant and careful, not too sexy, not too short, just perfect. I arrived there , he was waiting for me to taxi stop. We went together to table where his friends and boss was waiting . He intorduced me to them, and while we were there, he was so lovely and always holded my hand. I felt a little like he just want to show off with me, but I said maybe is my impression only...

After dinner, in the taxi to hotel, he chnged himself , becomed sad. Then on the street, suddenly kissed me , then in the hotel room, after we made love, he suddenly changed again in sad. The sexual thing was perfect and very perfect between us, but he was very sad and silent, huged me and told me he loves me . I told him I love him too and after that he said, ok, I go home now , take care tomorrow when you leave.
I had a gift for him , forgot to give to him. I called him from the room to back, but he did not responsed. I went to lift and bring the gift to him, he looked at the gift and looked to me and said nothing, then entered in the lift and gone...
Since that evening passed 3 years since I never saw him again........

Between the time, he come back and gone, he come back and gone , so many times. So many times also asked me to meet, the suddenly he said he don't like me, he hate me, he said he is sorry to hurt me,etc. He even told me to marry other man and to be happy. Then again and again diappeared , at beginign for 3 weeks maximum, then for 1-2 months, and now for 4-6 months keep him disappeared.
Bitween the time, I found out ( not from him) that he was married before and have 1-2 kids and is divorced. The divorce devastated him because his ex wife probably never understood his behaviors. At least, he confirmed to me he was married and is divorced.

Many times I told him, do not contact me again if you are fake with me. If you can't show me your real life. Then he aske dme when I have time to go to see his real life ( parents, kids, where he is living, etc). Then suddenly again said he don't want to marry ! he want to be alone and to leave him alone ! Then disappeared again. Then he come back on messenger with the message " I miss you, but I don't want to marry , sorry, I want to be alone " Many times he added my messenger with this message. I never knew what is going on with him until I researches info about this behaviors and bipolar disorder. I suffered so much in this relationship with his go anc back... I think now I need therapy too to pass over all this, but I try to control myself as much as I can and to make my life colorful.

In this 3 years, I went to see him once and he did not come to meet me there. Simple, he blocked my messages in messenger, but he stay online, just like he ignore me .

Months later, on my birthday, he sent a letter to me, in his language. A anonymous latter, from a unknown and unexistant E-mail address ( mask E-mail address, something), expressing his love for me and that he can't live without me and if I don't want to meet him, then he only hope and wait for me next life......

The last time I talk with him, was in Occtober after this, when he come back again in messenger so lovely , then sudenly he asked me " how did you solve the sex in this years, baby ? " I told him no talk about sex again, because he has an obssesion to talk about sex in messenger always and nothing else .
Then suddenly again, he started to talk with me like I am a [tramp]. Dirty words, then again to say in the next sexond " I love you ! I need you ! " , then asked me " Did you slept with other men ????????????" and repeated this question for so many times until he made me so angry and I told him I got married ! and send him some pictures in marriage dress, from my modeling show. I was a model for wedding dresses, but he did not knew this recently.

He exploded then. He said he come to kill me ! He said then he will kill himseld and so many.... I then told him the truth about that pictures, but he did not believed me , then again talk with me very dirty and ugly. I then told him if he think that bad about me, never to contact me again . Then he deleted me from messenger and since 4 months, I don't know anything about him, but I know he will come back . He already visited my messenger space page to check my pictures . I was happy in a way, to see he is still there , but no more signs from him.

I love him with all my heart , but after reading your many ads here like mine, I understood that there is no chance with a bipolar to be happy in any way. I am not ready to leave him , but I also can't love other man. I don't know what power a bipolar has to make a woman / man to love them so deep, but reading so many stories, they all can do this happen. Maybe is human to feel to not leave him because he is ill and need help, but I think I am also to weak and love myself less than love him.

If I take the time back, I can say I regret I went there to met this man. At that time I was in a relationship that was not working well and I wanted a change, but I didn't wait to forget the past relationship.

I can say this man destroyed my life, I am unable love again. Or maybe I should say I destroyed my life meeting him...... I can't leave him and I want him back, but in the same time, I know what will come back again ........ I tried to talk with other men, there is no attraction at least, for them. I am afraid I need also professional help to pass over this and to cana be able to have again love feelinsg for someone .

Any similar story and suggestions ? Thank you all !
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replied February 10th, 2019
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and I understand your concern.
This man has personality disorder. Its better to ignore him. You would need mind relaxation excercise like yoga and meditation to forget him and make yourself at ease.
I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care
Khan
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