Hello,
My 1 1/2 yolder bro is in a bit of trouble. Mental, social, financial.
It's a delicate matter, a taboo between the family and him.
He started smoking when he was 15, in my opinion due to insecurity and through peer pressure.
Overnight his group of friends changed, most of which were uninspired skater slackers. Our mom has always had an aversion to cig and weed and made it a point for me not to do it. I never started any substance abuse. However she started to be in denial of his ongoing smoking.
He went on to smoke weed about 2 years later I think. During his 2nd year at Uni, he was diagnosed as Bipolar. He was supposed to go on medication, I doubt he did them for long. I went to visit him in the US were he lives. He continued to consume both cigs and pot untl his last year at uni. His GF made him stop cig. She has an on and off relationship with him, partly because of his very pronounced mood swings (she seems to have a mild form of depression herself at times, but is overall a cheerful person).. They both graduated with a degree in psychology, and when they are together they usually spend their time on a couch, watching TV and smoking pot and such. His roommate used to have a nice gym routine with him, but it's been over for a while to his nostalgic regret. When they are far off each other they phone each other, often being jealous and suspicious of the other.Oh and I believe he recently started to lose a bit of his hearing aptitude.
The previous summer he ruined family and friend moments at cheerful dinners,... calling my father a loser and wishing him cancer as it was revealed my dad was secretly smoking for about year (that's another issue, which, btw, has been solved: he stopped).
My bro doesn't eat a lot. My parents give him money on a regular basis to rent the apartment and eat. He has a non-paid job at a startup, his temporary visa runs out in a month, so he will be kicked out of US unless his company can offer him an H1B visa. He might receive a salary soon as well. He holds a reputation amongst Frat friends as a chronic weed consumer.
I'm currently staying at his place for a month. A few days after I landed, I got drunk with his roomate, and his friends revealed compromising info about his famous smoking (one even said"It's X we are talking about here"). That night I smelled weed while trying to fall asleep. I stepped on the terrace of his apt (I knew it was his usual spot) and confronted him about the issue, filled with anger. He is caught red handed with red eyes and avoids looking at me. I started hitting myself violently, trying to make him understand that it's no fun to see a loved one damaging oneselfs health. A debatable strategy, granted, but I was drunk, and wanted to break the ice.
Suddenly he trips me, corners me, and punches me 10-15 times with an extreme violence, I was seeing stars. I remember ironically encourageing him. My nose is kind of broken (one nostril at least seems to have a partially blocked airflow). He punched me so intensily, he injured his hand quite bad, probably by hitting the wall by accident in the frantic, repeated motion. He walked away for a bit, trying to get his bearings, but I (feeling at the time as a Jesus) hugged him. He opened up finally, while breaking up in tears, about his anxiety regarding money, visa, and the resulting guilt he felt towards parents to whom he previously said are things he would easily handle himself soon). The rest of my stay is proving difficult, with him more or less tolerating me, depending on his mood.
My sister who is also around though staying at a friend, knows about pretty much everything.
We are thinking of telling the bad stuff once we return. My parents have quite a lot on their mind already with their local business. My mother, struggling to keep in touch with her other son overseas, frequently tells us: "I'm sure he's stopped weed now, right? What do you think". To which we always mumble a defeated optimistical reply.
He has moments of mania where he has racing thoughts. Ex: criticizing the gratuitious brutality of Ice Hockey, and, through chain of thought, concluding that global shift of power will teach the arrogant US a lesson. He ironically doesnt want to live anywhere else than in USA.
He is a very smart person but he is ruining it for himself and everyone else. He's also a mythomaniac, telling his friends things such as our family have diplomatic immunity. Sociopath at least towards his close ones. However I think he performs well at his job. A productive.

He never asks for help, but he really needs it. He's not under medication. He'll always be able to find weed wherever he lives. To my knowlesge, the primary reason why his account his dry, is because he blows all his money on weed (that is, the parents money).
How can I help him? His mood swings are become threatening.
He is particularly in a bad mood in the morning, after work and when hungry. I try as much as I can to be cheerful. I cook and buy all the groceries. Very thankful of my servitude in the beginning, he starts to take it for granted more and more.
It's so hard to approach the whole matter with him. He can be such a loving and funny brother. The family so much about him and we want him to live a successful life. We just don't know where to start. How can we make him quit weird in this unfavorable environment?
Should he even quit? I read good and bad things about the consumption of Marijuana by a bipolar.
Any ideas?

Thank you for taking the time to read this. It means a lot to me.


PS: Sorry for typos I post this from my phone.


Last edited by ducktales66 on June 7th, 2013 11:58 AM; edited 3 times in total
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replied June 7th, 2013
Wow!! I don't think weed is the only problem in your family! Good luck!!
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replied June 8th, 2013
That's possible. How so? Please elaborate?
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replied July 3rd, 2013
Hello ducktales66. There is so much to respond to i don't feel that i have it in me to respond properly, but i do know that i suffer from many bipolar symptoms and that while i do partake in smoking weed from time to time it hasn't proven to be the best thing to me. it seems like your brothers problems include the type of delusional behaviour very much associated with bipolar and weed and even alcohol can, in my experience, increase those feelings tenfold. it's a disturbing situation because if you want to change bad behaviour first you have to realize it's even bad at all, and maybe he doesn't feel this way. as his brother i think the best you can do is voice your concern that his behaviour might end up destroying his life. i know this doesn't sound too helpful but i want to let you know i read it and hope the best for your situation, and maybe he should cool it with the weed.
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replied September 7th, 2013
Drugs can cause Bipolar. Its afact. I haven't read your story but Drugs can cause Bipolar. Google daniella westbrook & Bipolar. I know she was on cocaine and she was abused by some evil drug dealers; but Drugs can cause Bipolar.
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