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Bipolar 2 breakup after without medication for 1 month

Hi everyone!

I was living with my love, we were planning to get married. Problem was she is bipolar 2. We both agreed on to stop her medication, now this was a fatal mistake. 1 month without medication and she totally lost it. She had a panic attack, one day, she was kissing me and touching me, then she suddenly just lost it, she run off not properly dressed in the very cold winter and somehow she ended up at the police. The police arrested me because she claimed I hold her in her apartment againts her will, I was abusive and threatened her. She accused me of a lot of things when she was on her meds, but this took the cake. They arrested me without proof, some very interesting system in Sweden. I spent the night in a jail, I never were in a jail in my whole life. Next day she asked for a restriction order againts me so I cant contact her anymore. Then I was released because of the lack of proof. I was trying to explain that she is bipolar and had no medication for a month and she needs help, they didnt understand. So after my release I went back to her town, to her. Risking my life, spending the night on the streets. Then I spent the next night in her town... in a car in the worst artic storm imaginable. I almost frozen to death. Next day I kept on trying to reach her but she didnt open the door. There was absoloutly no activity inside the apartment. I had to make a decision, stay there and die this time for real, or go back and hold out if I ever want a chance for our future. So I come back.
I dont know how long this will last for her, I dont know how she will feel if she gets better, I dont know if she will contact me again. Well, going out from most ppl's experience she will. Question is, what then? I understand her illness, I understand we made a mistake by stopping her medication. I understand she was not in controll. What I know is that her caring love is real for me, she really wanted to spend her life with me. She told this to me every day. She shown me love, care none stop. She did everything for me. She wanted to be with me all the time and she was. Whenever she had a period I managed to bring her back, even she was suprised how well I did with her. It is really deep what is between us.
So what now? She is not the type who just leaves someone, she is the type who is usualy left. We are without contact for more than 2 weeks now, she is unreachable, she even deactivated her facebook account, which I think she havent done before, she always used facebook as a type of self relaxing treatment. I wish to hold out for her, because I see her worth. I know it will never be simple with her bipolarity to be with her. I belive she is worth it. Am I delusional? Or am I just in love? Am I weak for not walking away or am I strong for holding out knowing it wont be easy? What do you think?
Thank you for your comments beforehand.
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replied February 18th, 2019
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and I understand your concern.
Its because you have been emotionally blackmailed. You would need mind relaxation excercise like yoga and meditation.
I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care
Khan
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