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Bipolar boyfriend trying to knock me up...why?

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This story is long...but interesting, I promise! We are both 19 years old too.

My boyfriend and I have been having a complicated time for 7 months. When I first met him he seemed kind of "odd" but i didnt want to judge him. It was not until the frist time we were getting ready to have sex...before we started dating...the first thing he tells me is "Do you want me to get you pregnant?" I was like..."WOOOOOO!!!!" Now I didnt know that he was bipolar at the time...I just thought he was a creep!

Still acting strange...he opened up to me the frist day we started dating that he WAS suicidal and that he has been in the mental hospital before. Like I said I didnt want to judge him.

So one day, I went to his house and I looked over at his phone and saw a pic of him kissing some girl on his background...and I blew the f*** up! Mad So I told him that I was leaving and right before I leave...he grabs me and tells me that Im not going anywhere...than takes my phone and tells me to go upstairs...he followed me in about a minute later and started acting like an a** to me. So he was trying to have sex with me without protection for a while and we did...stupid me. I noticed later that there was a huge knife on the stair's counter but I didnt think twice about it at the time.

So the next day...my birthday...I texted him saying "Im done with you" and all he said was "ok". Strange, how 6 days later he gets hit by a car.This all happened within 3 weeks of dating! When he gets out I try asking him how it happened and he blames the women who hit him and didnt give me a full story...it sound strange to me. Later he started dropping himts saying "Why didnt you come and see me in the hospital?" and "You planned for the car to hit me."

Than decides one day he tells me that he is feeling suicidal and calls me to come over ASAP. We were not together...And than tells me, "I need a girlfriend, I really really like you" so he finally says, "I think you are going to get mad if I tell you this, but I was trying to get your pregnant so we can stay togther forever." Shocked

Months go by and he is acting weird and I get mad...and blah blah blah.I thought he was bulls***ing so I didnt beleive anything he said.

He dumped me in January for no good reason at all...two weeks later texting me to hang out with him...I turned him down. So beginning of Feb. I had something URGENT to tell him...than soon before I hung up on him he says, "Wait, I really really miss you. Please come over when get leave. You are the only girl for me. I love you!" Rolling Eyes So he keeps calling me every 15 minutes keeps telling me that he loves me. Went over and he couldnt keep his hands off of me. His good friend even said, "He really does you love you." We went up to his room and as soon as he closed the door he hugs me and kisses me multiple times...like I never seen before...And says "Okay, Im sorry...I want to get serious so we can be together forever. As soon as we clear our problems we are going to try for a baby again!" And kept kissing me and hugging me...so i still think he is being stupid so I tell him...let's have sex! He was not in the mood but we did...and the whole time he was kissing me and looking into my eyes...like never before! Shocked And after that called me everyday for the next couple of weeks.

To end this...he finally opened up about his disease...gosh ofter 7 months...He told me that he has times where he doesnt care about and anyone...sometimes not even his own parents. He has been to the Mental Hospital 4 times, since he was 14 and he tells me he feels like he wants to die sometimes. He acts very arrogant one moment at than than tells me that he hates himself right after that. He told me he wants to get married and wants a serious relationship...but at times im still not convinced, even though he may be serious. He told me that sometimes he wants to kill himself because he cannot deal with being bipolar. And at the end of our conversation he says..."Thanks for talking to me, it makes me fall more in love with you." We also went to church the next day as well to pray for a better and stronger relationship.

Now things are back to normal...he's being an a** again...got mad at him and he made a comment that pissed me off big time and so I got fed up...so with showing him that I care that now im returning the favor to him. I have not talked to him in 8 days and he did text me a couple days ago but I ignored it. If he does talk to he i will act like I dont care and be the same way he is when he gets in his stages. It sounds weird but maybe he will snap out of it when I want him to. I cried for too long at times and Im fed up...Im still learning about the disorder so help me out if you can.

Why do you think he is trying to get me pregnant?
Do you think he really cares/loves me like he says he does and wants us to be together?
Should I return the favor (even though I love him, but not in love) or continue to show that I care?
Should I take him seriously?

And give me your stories if you have any, I would love to read them! It may not seem he is bipolar, but he is...i just dont feel like talking about the way he acts and all that stuff...just this situation. He is on meds...but you already know how that goes!

Thanks, SDM2010
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replied April 12th, 2011
I daresay that before long this guy is going to have to spend some more time in a mental ward. From the sounds of it the medication isn't working, and his unchecked behaviour, perhaps combined with the natural impulsivity of youth are wreaking havoc on his life. It may very well be that his erratic behaviour is all down to manic depression, but should this be the most important thing to you? Certainly, if you had come to me as a friend with this account then I would suggest to you that your first priority should be your own self-preservation. What I find startling in his case is the sheer degree of aggression in the way he treats you, and I wouldn't take it lightly that you felt pressured to have unprotected sex with him. I'm 23, I'm bipolar, and I've had enough punch ups in my life, but my mania has never made me coercive or violent. This is not to say that it the aggression is not due to his mania, I'm merely trying to point out that at the time when he is possibly dangerous, he is also acting without any regards to future consequences.

Certainly, it's not for anyone to say whether he does or does not love you, you will have to find out for yourself over time. You should be aware that this is a cyclic disease, and most bipolar people have a rhythm. Episodes will last for a time, probably weeks, and if he's like me, then maybe months. And in answer to your question, I have free-will at all times in my life, it's simply that within certain intervals, the tint of life becomes rosier or darker, and decisions made on the basis of bent perception are often ill-fated.

I'm sure that you will find stories galore on the adventures and misadventures of manic-depressives, not just on this site, but around the internet in general. We laugh, we cry, we bleed and sweat, we hurt the world and ourselves and the people we love. We overdose, we hallucinate, we dream of great things, and sometimes, we dream of death. It's a life of pain and joy and eccentricities, where the future is unknown, blurred by the clouds of episodes to come.

If I were him, I know I would appreciate your show of friendship.

And yes, take him seriously. Even when it seems outrageous or implausible to do so.
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replied October 15th, 2011
my soon to be husband is bioplar weve been togerther for 3 years it is very hard being with someone thats bipolar but the worse thing you can do is get mad at him for something he can not control ive done alot of research some good some bad but be suportive dont get mad at him and its hard trust me... there are days when i want to just leave.but dont show him that it will make things bad i keep a journal of everything i feel what we fight about what makes me mad about things he says ,and it helps i was told to do that by his doctor and it helps and when he does have an episode the best thing to do is not fight back try to calm him down or just walk away cause with keeping it going is just gonna make it all bad ive been thru alot with my man times were he tried to kill him self or hurts him self just be calm and be there for him its crazy i know but you being calm and being there for him and not yelling back is whats going to help
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replied April 14th, 2011
Girl Run away fast, thats all there is to say. Mental illness is no joke, you could never imagine what he is thinking of doing. He will only hurt you, if you off the wild ride then stay off. If you love yourself get away and stay away.
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replied April 15th, 2011
I hate to say it, but i agree that you should probably find the best way out. You'll end up making yourself miserable trying to make him happy.
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replied July 2nd, 2011
my boyfriend is bipolar
my boyfriend is bipolar too. i am just now being able to recognize his ups and "mood swings" personally. I didnt take into account his bipolar. Its still a work in progress, but dont judge him when he is dumpy and enjoy him when he is good. I think whatever feelings he is feeling are sincere and real to him and should not be discounted, just better understood where it is coming from! Its frustrating at times and felt like leaving, but its not the man its the disorder that makes me want to leave. Thats not fair to him. If I love him, I have to love all of him. Im just trying to learn all there is to know so I can handle it better for myself and him. we all have problems and issues to varying degrees and still deserve to love and be loved. If he is taking lithium and zoloft how controlled would his manias be?
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replied July 6th, 2011
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Being someone who lived through a relationship which included a person who is Bipolar for 2.5 years....leave the relationship and do not ever look back. He needs specialized help that isn't currently occurring. Even with the proper help....he is still going to have a difficult time. You're only 19.....you have your entire life ahead of you....do not start out this way.

Chris
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replied September 17th, 2012
My boyfriend is also bipolar. We've been together off and on for 3 years. I understand your situation because he, did, in fact get me pregnant, and on purpose. He has bipolar episodes with no warning at all. A week and a half ago, he texted me and said "did you know that I'm madly in love with you?" and then wouldn't speak to me because I went out of town with my family. Tonight he texted me for the first time in 6 days, asking me how our unborn daughter is and being very bubbly. As soon as I asked him why he's acting like nothing happened, he flipped out on me, told me he wishes he'd never met me and called me names. This went on for about 5 hours until I told him that if he really feels that way, I'm out. I haven't heard from him since then, and probably won't for a couple months, but at that point, he's going to call me and beg me to come over and let him apologize. This happens frequently.
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replied November 16th, 2012
Girl, I tell you, its hard to deal with. we stopped talking recently, now at this moment, and two weeks later he says, "SO we had sex, two weeks ago..So are you pregnant now?" as if he was hoping and forgot he stopped talking to me. Do you know how badly I wanted to jump up and knock the head off of his sholders!!!
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replied October 15th, 2012
No amount of knowledge on the web can help you deal with this!
Oh hunny, this is merely just the beginning. I am bi-polar and so is my husband. Not fun. We've been together for over five years and we are a hot mess to say the least. Yes our bills stay paid, we have great kids and others would and do consider our lives to be fortunate. then the doors close and their is chaos. Our rhythms are completely out of sync. Now let me also add that I told him when we met about my illness, but it wasn't until a few months into the relationship that I just knew he was my twin. I knew he was sick. It was too late he got me pregnant our second time together. At first I felt like the inadequate one and viewed him as the knight to my rescue. Oh No not the case, our life consists of times where we don't talk, it is up, down, hate, love, I honestly hate this S#!+ I'm just saying.
As far as your story, baby please move on with your life. Do not put yourself through this. He is not ready to be a father, he can't even help himself. He seems violent which can be a sign of a worse case of or additional disorder on top of the bi-polar.
I am a 32 yr. old mother and was diagnosed manic depressive (bi-polar) when I was 11. So I know all too well how this goes. Not saying that we don't deserve love, I'm only saying that I don't think that it is the right time for him. He needs to get help.
Ask yourself: 1) Do I really want to try and raise a kid with someone that I can't count on? he obviously can't hold a job it sounds like he spends to much time in the hospital for that. 2) Can I see myself still living this way five years from now? When you may or may not have 2-3 kids. I would not want to have a baby with someone who is a lose trigger. Last thing a child needs to find one day is a dead parent who died at his own hands. trust me I've been there done that too.
You say that you're not in love with him, so that pretty much sums it up for me. Don't stay because you feel sorry for him, or expect things to magically get better...not gonna happen! Don't feel like you have to subject yourslef to emotional and possibly physical abuse because you may be afraid if you quit him he'll kill himself..
Protect yourself, your life, your dreams...if it's meant to be you'll meet again and he will be prepared to give you the part of him that you deserve..that's only when he's finally the man that he deserves to be. Healthy, medicated, stable and knowing of his rhythms.
Good luck girly Smile
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replied November 16th, 2012
Well I left him for 7 months and once we got back,things were going great for hmmm, 3 months, but I got closer with him and we opens up now and shares what meds he takes so I know, but he still lives at home and I live alone so I cannot see what he is taking.

I see him falling, but now instead of crying, Im like, "oh not again" He thanks me for being there becuase no other girl has ever done what I done, but when he starts swinging, I just leave him alone until he gets his head back into the game.
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replied November 16th, 2012
Oh Gosh, I was 19 when this happen, now Im 21. We have been through hell and back, it is too much. Right now we are currently broken up, I have not spoke to him in 7 days. Sometimes I just dont know what the heck I should do.

We have gotten so much closer, and want a family and everything, but each darn week he changes his mind. It drives me insane!!!!

Anymore personal stories, I will give you all the update what happend this past year.
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replied November 19th, 2012
Worry about yourself...move on please, sry hun
Time to take care of yourself hun, time to let it go...trust me. You will be fine I PROMISE!!
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