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Hi all...I'm new here and would love some input. I am in a long-distance relationship (I know, strike one!) with a guy I absolutely adore. We have spent over a year speaking several times a day, spending evenings via webcam talking, playing scrabble, you name it. He's my best friend. I went to visit him in England in February, and after about 5 minutes nervousness, we were totally at ease together. The plan was for him to come back to the US to stay with me a while and see how he liked it, with the possibility in mind of his staying and working here. Well 1 month turned into three, then three into six.

He told me early on that he is bi-polar but we worked with it. I have depression issues myself, and we had always been able to help each other at our low points. Well, he hit a doozy, broke up with me for about a week, and then started calling again. We agreed to take it day by day, but he was still so down. He saw his doctor who advised him to visit out of town relatives, get away from his immediate family, job, phone, everything - just do something new and utterly different to break out of the low he's in. He's also changed meds from Cymbalta to Celexa.

He's been gone over a week now and I knew we would have little contact while he's away...but this is so hard. I'm determined not to call, but I do text occasionally, and he usually answers.

But I'm hurting so badly. I can't fathom not wanting to talk to him and wonder that he doesn't seem bothered about not talking to me. Is this unusual for someone who is bi-polar? I know the celexa, like all SSRI's, can take several weeks to start working. Do I just hang in there? Is there hope for us? We have always been very open about our feelings for one another, but right now, I'm at a loss.

Do I text? Call? Give him space and leave him alone until I hear from him? I feel like there is a rock sitting on my chest, and I can't concentrate. Now I'm taking new meds (Zoloft) and contemplating taking some sick time courtesy of FMLA.

I really love this guy. Any advice would be so greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much in advance.

Niandh
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replied August 5th, 2008
yes it is normal for a person with bipolar to be distant at times my husband is bi polar and we go throw weeks sometimes not talking in the same house i also have depression and its very hard to be with someone who has bipolar we have been married for 5 years now and its not much easier than it was in the first part of our relationship.
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Users who thank acnsoverberg8607 for this post: Niandh 

replied August 5th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
So true. Just try you best to understan him and support him. You will make it!
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replied August 5th, 2008
my husband takes a combo. of meds. now for the past year and sometimes it is better but if he misses one pill he goes nutty for a few days so even now its hard. but i love him and i have had problem with my health and he has stuck by me as much as he could so for us its worth it. its very hard to deal with if you understand what bi polar is but if you dont its unbarable lucky i understand because my brother has bi polar.
some times these low times cant last for weeks or even months if you can handle this and some mood swings worse than period or pregant wemans mood swings in a drop of the hat and you really love this guy then yes hold on for dear life but i warn you its gonna be so hard and take alot to hold on to your relationship but you know everyone has their own problems no one is perfect. but this does set you up for depression real bad sometimes because you will feel alone alot and like your the only person in the relationship. you need to read up on bi polar and deside if you can handle it. good luck i wish you the best.
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replied August 18th, 2008
BiPolar Boyfriend
yes i am in the same situation although my bf does not take much except for welbutrin . He gets in those moods that you mention where he does not contact me and he never answers his phone either . He usually will come around and Instant message me after like 3 days . I just wait until then . I think maybe during this time you need to take care of you because you are no good for anyone unless you take care of yourself . I know this first hand I am a single mom to matt who is ADHD also i am a caregiver my trade . you can get burnt out quick
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replied August 19th, 2008
Experienced User
Keep up communications, let him know you are there for him. Sorry that he is away.

I also suffer from Bipolar, I don't cycle fast it is months at a time. I was off medications for years until my divorce set off my depression. It took more then 6 months to recover, the medication just didn't kick in fast they kept having to adjust the dose. Now I am on Geodone and I don't have mood swings any more, if I miss a dose it does not set me off. The biggest thing is that my life is stable once again I am in a new marriage and my husband adores me.

Best wishes for you in this matter,
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