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Bipolar boyfriend left again and I had been warned (Page 5)


September 8th, 2011
Experienced User
silent treatment. Phoned a lot, came to my home to see me, behaved really odd, cold like a piece of ice,started to talk about the first woman he cheated on me with, said pan faced that he liked her, thissitting with me in my home, after phoning many times and pestering me to let him come to see me. I asked him if he doenst know her adress, why come to see me and not her.
On Sunday, long phone calls, asking for time to sort himself out, saying we are not finished, and so on.
Complete silence over the week, only to phone me again on Sunday asking to see me, to sleep with me, to have dinner together. I asked about thee other woman, he said. 'Im phoning you, not her'.
Again, silence over the week, nothing, complete silence.
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replied September 12th, 2011
I feel terrible. My BF has gone almost already three months and I still feel terrible. This unbearable endless emptyness and apathy as if I am dead inside, want to live like others but its too much for me.
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replied September 30th, 2011
I am in so much pain right now,as I am typing this I am in tears..I was with this Guy for 5 months...The way we met was a meant to be story..At first things we great,he was attentive,caring,supportive,generous,the sex was great!!There were a few times I did not hear from him,and I will admit I can be needy,but only because I cared...I went to his place and he shouted at me slammed the door in my face and told me it was over.He could never talk any emotions either,he would get angry if I even brought up the subject..
Well we got back together and things were fine,He is a workaholic,and gets stressed out from his job,His body is breaking down,and he has no time for himself...But I gave him his space and let him come to me..The sex slowed down to nothing,and I asked him about it and he just said he was tired...I accpeted that..A couple of weeks ago,he called me to come get me for supper,the nest night he called to see how I was and that he would call the next day...well he did not call but neither did I.I gave him a call the next night,wondering if he was ok,and to call me...No reply...I called the next morning,and again nothing..I then texted him that I was worried and could not sleep,just let me know your ok...His reply was....I am fine,just busy,stop bleeping phoning!!!And that is the last I have heard from him...I have creid,begged for closure,dropped his stuff off,but nothing..I am angry and sad...I dont know what to do!!
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replied September 30th, 2011
please help!!!
I am in so much pain right now,as I am typing this I am in tears..I was with this Guy for 5 months...The way we met was a meant to be story..At first things we great,he was attentive,caring,supportive,generous,the sex was great!!There were a few times I did not hear from him,and I will admit I can be needy,but only because I cared...I went to his place and he shouted at me slammed the door in my face and told me it was over.He could never talk any emotions either,he would get angry if I even brought up the subject..
Well we got back together and things were fine,He is a workaholic,and gets stressed out from his job,His body is breaking down,and he has no time for himself...But I gave him his space and let him come to me..The sex slowed down to nothing,and I asked him about it and he just said he was tired...I accpeted that..A couple of weeks ago,he called me to come get me for supper,the nest night he called to see how I was and that he would call the next day...well he did not call but neither did I.I gave him a call the next night,wondering if he was ok,and to call me...No reply...I called the next morning,and again nothing..I then texted him that I was worried and could not sleep,just let me know your ok...His reply was....I am fine,just busy,stop bleeping phoning!!!And that is the last I have heard from him...I have creid,begged for closure,dropped his stuff off,but nothing..I am angry and sad...I dont know what to do!!
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replied October 18th, 2011
Shocked
Dear friends, I am shocked and relieved in the same time! Thank god I got to this forum! Yesterday, after another abrupt halt in our relationship, I googled "boyfriend left me twice in a month" and got to this place! I have never even thought that all these pulling-pushing me could be due to mental illness.
My boyfriend is a charming, gentle smart guy, a typical "good man", very passionate and a wonderful step father of my kid. But time to time, he suddenly pulls away, gets confused and pushes me away. Wants to stop our relationship. In the beginning, these episodes were far apart, but as time passed, they became more frequent and more serious. And he blames me. I am not supporting enough... he doesn't feel safe with me... can't see our future together... not ready to commit. In his good days, he pulls me close, wants to marry me, wants children right away, I am the best ever happened to him...etc.
Recently - after a very stressful period in his professional life - he is constantly in the bottom of the ditch. He left my place, stays with his parents, and he wants to move on. But a week ago he called and cried 4 hours on the phone (me too), we said how we love and miss each other, he promised everything, that he comes back, we will live together. He was sooo convincing, loving and cheering me up! Then he went silent again for days and yesterday he told me (on chat!!!) that he is uncertain... in fact he will just come over to collect his remaining stuff. When I asked what that 4 hours loving scene was, he replied that the "remnants of love", and that he doesn't feel the way he should in order to commit to me. He would even deny things he said on the phone. I was so shocked, soooooo shocked I felt my blood chills in my body!
Now I am beginning to understand that he is very possibly BP. His mom told me how he was always unable to decide in his life, he runs away when tasks are hard, he is sort of denying to look at reality. He is also very jealous.
I am a rather normal person, although heartbroken and miserable right now. I let him make me believe that there was something wrong on my side, that he could not commit to me. I think I allowed too much already, and it took a toll on my self esteem. I feel I will never love anyone else.
I love him dearly! I love him so much, that if I could help him by draining my blood, cutting a limb... I would certainly do that. I am deeply in love with him.
But reading your posts I understand that the probability for me to lead a happy life with him is extremely low.
Right now, I cannot imagine to live with someone else... not even to cut him out of my life....as it was all focused on him. But I must cut this off. I feel I cannot do that, but I know that even if I stay with him, I will be no help, and I will lose my sanity.
On Friday he might come to me to pack his belongings, hope I will have strength to make a polite, and civilized clear cut. (My fear is though that he will come with promises and roses). Please remember me in your prayers! God bless you all!
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replied October 20th, 2011
Absolutely amazing. I am stunned at how we all have the SAME story. I thought some would at least have some variance but no, we all say the same thing. I have been with my bf for almost 5 years. We moved in together a year ago and although we do couples things, make love, dinner, tv etc, he seems numb now that we live together. And when he cycles manic (unofficially undiagnosed), he says the EXACT same things you have all been saying - he says I am not feeling us, we should just unwind this and break it off…He says I am the one with the issues, that I have been annoying, that I never give him space, that I smother him, that I am always here (I live here) and on and on. He talks down to me, raises his voice, has a super wide eyed craziness. There are certain phrases and looks that clue me in to who I'm talking to at the time. Other times he is normal.
What I have learned in 5 years is this: I have learned to not let his mean statements hurt me anymore - I know it is the disorder talking. I have learned to see our relationship temporary. I have learned he says the nicest things he will not own up to later. For instance, he left me in July to reconcile with his estranged wife - out of the blue, and then came back 3 weeks later saying he loves me, wants to marry me and spend the rest of our lives together - two weeks later when I said something inconsequential he said my statement changed how he feels about our future. Now a few months later he is mundane about us again. I have learned to try not to react - I just say ok, do whatever you need to do and most of the time that softens his fits.
What I WANT to learn is how to give him space. But his request triggers my own issues of trust and abandonment. I fear if I back off a couple of days that he will feel abandoned himself and reach out to someone else. I want to pretend he has normal brain chemistry and he will chase me but that is a fantasy. He will run to someone, but there is no guarantee it will be me and I know if I make it too difficult for him to resolve it with he will stay away. His biggest issue is blame - he blames everyone for everything. Especially women. His next biggest issue is space - one week he is cuddly and puts up with what most of us think is normal relationship stuff, sitting on the couch watching movies etc; the next week he keeps dropping hints that I am smothering him and he needs space - eventually he says he is about to bust or run and wants to break it off. I read another forum the other day where a bipolar man explained that the need for space has to do with a lot of noise in their heads. They really and truly need alone quiet time to sort out the fast electrical brain impulses. My personal goal, if it is not too late, is to react accordingly by letting him have quiet time. I have done it many times, but I resent having to stay away from my own house just because he wants me to. But now that I read what that guy said about the noise, I think I am more understanding.
The other thing that is concerning for me, and us, is that we’re in our late 40’s and early 50’s, and the web says the episodes get increasingly worse for untreated bps, and could possible promote early onset dementia. I want him to start realizing that if his roller coaster is untreated it could end up being more serious than he thinks. I am sure as a younger man the ride was exhilarating, but the man I read said as you age the fun exciting part does not last as long, and it is followed by days of disorganized thoughts. So for all those who have excelled in business in their youth, to feel disorganized might create a panic - so strong they would rather live in denial. So many attempt suicide that I really do not want to remove the denial but for his dementia sake I want to slowly expose him to the options for getting help.
I have been on antidepressants, psycho meds, and now getting therapy. I thought all this was me - he had me convinced. He said, at first, that after I got help for my issues he would get help for his. Now, that he is cycling up, he says he does not have any issues and it is all me.
I don’t know how this will end but I know one thing - it is a lot more of a challenge than I thought a year ago. And I’m a lot more sane today than I’ve been in a few years. We had the most awesome start of a relationship. Man it was soooo beautiful. I want to believe that deep inside he remembers and loves me that same way, but when he says mean things he’s so convincing - he says he doesn’t feel anything for me anymore, he doesn’t remember our good times, that I’ve ruined it all for us. That might change in two weeks - it might not. Anyhow, that’s where we are this week - we’ll see where we are next week. I’ve tracked his cycles for years - they’re about 3 weeks in duration, with about 3 days in that time that are pure manic with rejection followed by a couple of days of meloncholy (he says he can't do anything right). Us being mature helps, but I still have no idea what lies ahead. It has made me put my life on hold. I know he hates that I’ve put my life on hold, and I know he has some awareness about that and feels guilty and he thinks I’m weak because of that, but he just doesn’t understand how emotionally abusive the roller coaster is - and I know in all my heart he doesn’t mean to be abusive - but man, when he says those mean things, he is soooo convincing. I feel sooo much anger. We’ll see. I love him but unless he starts assuming SOME type of responsibility, my loyalty is growing thin. I want the prize when he gets better - after all the work and loyalty, but my friends say maybe it's not as much a prize as I think it is. bp's are really good at manipulating your perception - really good at it. good luck to us all.
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replied October 22nd, 2011
Wow:
I am shocked to find this web site and make me realized how much in common I have with all these stories. I have been with my Boyfriend on and off for 10 years. But more off in the last 6 . He had broke up with me so many times, that i do not know when it is for real, I had go so use to the pattern that I am afraid I do not know what it is to be in a healthy relationship with anyone else anymore..I am seeking help. finally!!...I am afraid to be abandonated by others and I have a issue with Trust....He is gone now for 5 months and I am feeling lonely and confused as have happened before....He is so selfish and self center......He is 51 years old and never been married!!!!!! Now he is claiming wants a wife and 3 kids!!! He is not in a finance situation to do that; He is current living with his parents.....He is so un realistic in his dreams. It is just a line he use to make me feel bad.....I am past the age to have children, so use it as excuse but he never follow through with me or anyone else in the past.......
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replied November 3rd, 2011
Experienced User
This is EXACTLY what I'd also been told for years...same scenario....and I couldn't have any other children, either. REALIZE YOUR VALUE!!! No matter the details, they will always find something else that's "wrong"....something you can't change. For me, too, it became "normal"....you lose track of how things could and should be. You deserve MUCH better than this! Being lonely for a while is OK if it leads to a stronger sense of your worth. I've lived through it, too...the fear, the horrible pain, the lack of trust in anything anymore due to lies, manipulation, etc. I haven't seen him in almost 5 months, and I AM getting stronger. You can, too. No matter what he does, you have YOU, and that's worth alot. Don't let him continue to tear you down...it WILL get better!
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replied April 22nd, 2012
Your response helped me - thank you
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replied April 22nd, 2012
I've had the same thing happen to me. We were in a committed relationship for 4 months, and he walked out when I was 6 weeks pregnant.

He's on medication and has been for a long time. So clearly, they're either not working, or he has an extremely severe case.

Question: have any of you here lashed out at them? Had a fight, said things that you didn't mean? I did - we had a fight and I lost sight of the fact he was bipolar, and I yelled at him and lost control. A fight that any 'normal' relationship might be able to sustain but he walked out on me and the baby.

Everyone on here sounds like they never yelled first or retailiated...were you really able to be that patient?

I blame myself for what happened. But i realize we would never have had a normal relationship...I would have constantly had to deal with stress and uncertainty. So I've decided I'm done. Even if he does come back - which I doubt - I'm out for good.
I will lose my sanity if I'm with him. And I much prefer my life before, where I was enjoying life and contributing to society.

He had the choice to manage his symptoms better. He chose not to. And walking out on a pregnant partner is indicative of character issues. I refuse to let the bipolar be the explanation. It contributes most certainly, but is not the cause.
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replied November 2nd, 2011
Im happy to see im not the only one going through hell! My boyfriend and I will be dating for a year next week. Its sad to see that i had to deal with this illness very early in the relationship. His mother is also bipolar. He knows that he needs help, but he doesnt want to get it. He will be 25 in jan, but he has he childish ways its crazy. Its like im the only adult here..smh. He doesnt like to talk about are problems in person he rather text me even if im in the same room. He's not a talkative person. He accuses me of stuff that i dont even do, for example facebook. I clearly tell him all the time he is welcome to look on my page i have nothing to hide. When he get in his mood swing he will call me all types of harsh names and i do mean HARSH!!! sometimes i cant predict what hes gonna text me and im alway right. I dont know how many times i have packed and unpacked his things. He always telling me he sorry and that hes gonna work on it but like a week later he back to being this other person. He has two different personalities i swear. I dont even cry anymore im to the point if he wanna breakup again with me im like ok fine bye!! He never tells me he loves me face to face...he text me instead lol....he is a very shy person. Tonite we got into it again...smh..he just dont know but his bipolar ways got the best of him. I told him that im not happy anymore and that im tired of going through the same BS!! He got the sweetest heart but damnn..he needs help and i tell him that all the time. I think i need to just leave him and let him really feel it!! Im stressed. I have a 4year old daughter that needs my attention more than this issue. I think im gonna just live apart till he get help.
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replied November 3rd, 2011
continue

My boyfriend will text me harsh words, call me every name in the book and like 10mins later he will text me again like nothing didnt even happen. He has to have sex like 3times a day..if i dont feel like it he gets mad. once in a blue moon he will tell me he love me, but only in text!..smh.like i said it will be a year next week since we been dating,,if we can make it till next week. Im fed up. I started seeing his bipolar ways last feb or march i wanna say. and thats really early in the relationship. He thinks i be flirting on my facebook.. im like first of all im not that desprate to flirt or talk with someone on facebook. I try to tell him i have family and people i went to school with on there that i chat with. I use to dance and i met him at my old job last novemeber. I stop dancing in Aug. He didnt like the fact that other guys would see me nude. I respected that so i said ok. But now when he go through his little blackouts he want to judge me about me being a dancer. He thinks im like the other chicks but if i was he wouldnt be with me right now. I had my reasons why i had to do that for the moment. Im a single parent my daughter father was never in her life. When i was dancing it was honest no hanky panky lol and if he wanted to find out he could i didnt have to hide anything from him. But dont judge me on my past and he's good at doing that. I dont know but i give up!!
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replied January 11th, 2012
Here it is January 2012. I have read so many of your stories and am sad to say that I am going through it now. She left a month ago and I am miserable. One second she was in love with me and we were laughing and talking about getting our Christmas Tree, the POOF! She said she didn't love me anymore and didn't want to be settled down, she moved back in with her Mom (and she hates living there). I have been abandoned. We just celebrated our 4 year anniversary. This is the second time she has bailed. It has been a month and she is not the person I knew. I am broken.
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replied January 18th, 2012
I'm so happy I found this forum and for all of you who shared your stories and your pain.
I thought I was alone in this and that somehow I was to blame for my failed relationship, like I should have tried harder to save it.

Chris moved into my house last summer and did so much. Yard work, house work, cooking, everything. He was the sweetest guy. When the colder weather started he became another person, moody, argumentative, talking and picking fights like a crazy person.
Each week there would be some outrageous idea, which if I wasn't on-board he would get angry and not speak to me for days, then suddenly come upstairs from his retreat and sit next to me on the couch and say "don't you love me anymore" like nothing ever happened. He wanted chickens and another dog; I said no - big fight. He wanted to buy a travel trailer and park it in front of my house but use my truck to haul it, I said no. I told him he couldn't use my car anymore because he drove it aggressively and it was getting dinged up - he said it was just a Mercury and not a Mercedes so it really didn't matter.

I told him he needed to move out, he refused to leave unless I gave him a 30 day written notice. So I did, even though he never paid rent or help with utilities.

The epic fight was when he came home drunk and told me if I didn't give him the $50 couch we bought together at the Goodwill when he moved, he was going to burn down my house, I would never see my two dogs again, he would bring in scanky downtown people to trash my house when I was away and he would choke his own neck and cut himself, then tell the police I hurt him and get me thrown out of my own house so he could keep freeloading.
By this time I learned to carry a digital voice recorder with me when he was crazy - got it all on tape!

The next day he was the sweetest guy again and apologized for all the non-sense. We started getting along after the move out date was set and were planning on starting over, living separately. 30 minutes after he left, I got a Text message "I never want to hear from or see you again, have a good life".

That was about 6 weeks ago and I miss him so much. All of you have been an encouragement, Thanks
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replied February 17th, 2012
You are not broken; you have been released. Be very thankful for that. This thing is like a fierce merry-go-round that we stay on, hoping it will get better, believing the sweet words [and how about all those apologies??]...eventually you get so sick of the merry-go-round, that you figure out the only way to save yourself (and find some peace) is to hurtle yourself off it, top speed, try to roll when you hit the ground, and pick yourself up and let your broken bones and bruises start to heal.

When one is in a committed marriage with a bipolar sufferer who is pro-actively attempting to manage their condition, then perhaps their partner can take a supportive role. However, it is my opinion that when your "partner" is destructive, hurtful, in denial; not acknowledging your value in a relationship, it's time to leave.

I am a firm believer in listening when someone tells you who they are. If they say they don't love you, believe them!

Somebody else will love you dearly, and value you enough to treat you decently. Everything will be alright.
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Users who thank martinake for this post: kiwi4554 

replied September 27th, 2012
hi

This is Helen here. My bf was all I wanted, a big guy I loved more than life, and he said I was everything to him, we were made in heaven, we were like honeymooners, we were forever together, he loved me, the sex was with such love and passion, umbeliavably close and caring, we never fought, never had a bad word, beautiful relationship and then bang!!!!! he goes back to his ex, he disappears, he wont talk to me anymore , no explanation, no word. She found my phone and contacted me, told me that he has a mental disease she thinks is bipolar, he also has HPV that he never told me about, so I had to go to the clinic. She told me that he started to say bad things about me, this is sooooooooooooo umbeliavable, but I know she is telling the truth, he is now against me for no reason and said that he prefers to see the devil than me, because I said some truths to him about his treatment of me.
She also told me that he finished with her the same way, by phone, and that he made her suffer, that she wanted to finish with him and later on told me that she did finish with him.
I have suffered so much, but there was no word from him, no sorry, he has acted without conscience wanting to have sex without care and probably gave me HPV as well, he knew he had it. Thankfully, I have nothing else wrong, I did all the tests.
Im bewildered by his complete change of behaviour towards me, before I was everything he has always wanted, a woman who has culture, inteligent, beautiful, now he says Im too cultured, im old (Im not, only older than her), and much younger than him, and he completely disappeared from my life, he is even moving town.
How can anybody flip like that? I cannot even put in words all that we had togheter, it was perfect and he said that day and night. Suddenly, I was disposable like a empty beer can. The suffering of this is beyond belief. He wont even give me back my things I left in his house, he said he wont come to see me and wont come even to the train station to give back my stuff, he became a cold person I never knew and I think the ex is telling me truth about his personality, he even (it seems) got in trouble with the police for pushing his ex wife ( the real wife) on the floor not long ago. He is devious and false and even when he was with me he was contacting women in the Facebook, I got some of it and he pretended it was a mistake.
I believe that he cannot love and just pretended everything, what can I think? im normal and I loved him dearly.
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replied November 8th, 2012
I too am suffering from a "break up" from my bipolar boyfriend. We have known each other for a little over a year but we've only been dating for about 2 months. I know I love him. With all my heart. And he says he loves me. We have shared all our secrets with each other. All our hopes and dreams. There was nothing we didn't talk about. Not only does he have bipolar but he also has PTSD. He takes his medication every day and since I've known him he has never had an episode like this. This came on suddenly last night. We were fine. Texting about moving in with each other, how I made him happy, that I was all hes ever wanted, and he told me frequently throughout the day that he loved me. Then out of the blue he texted me and said he didn't want to drag me through his crap anymore. That he was leaving me because it wasn't fair to me or my kids. Gave me a million excuses on why he was leaving me. None of which made any sense. I begged him not to do this to us. But he began to repeat the same sentence repeatedly. That he just didn't want to be with me anymore. Today I texted him telling him to please not do this to us. Told him I wanted to see him later so we could talk in person. He said he didn't want to see me or talk to me so don't waste my time. Then he kept repeating himself to leave me alone and said he didn't love me anymore. His mother informed me that he is in a manic state and in a few days he will come around again. Told me to give him some space. Said he was on anxiety medication and that in a few days everything should be ok. I was heartbroken until I educated myself on this illness. I will not leave him or give up on him. Not when he needs me the most. Its not his fault he has bipolar. I love him enough to stand by his side and be there for him. He's always been there for me, how fair would it be for me to desert him during his time of need. I will give him the space he needs and we will come out of this stronger than ever. I just wish I knew how long he will be in this state and when it will be ok for me to talk to him again. I miss him and want to let him know I'm here for him. This is rough but I have a good support system and I can get through this. Hes the one with bigger problems than me. I need to focus on getting him better and not dwell on myself. I love him with everything I have and I'm not giving up!
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replied December 18th, 2012
Waking up from reality.
Well 7 months later... And I get a call from her... She's in Mania right now... moved out from her parents, something I know she would never normally do. She's high a kite, spending all her money "Bought 15+ pair of shoes, supper social, talks like crazy, dating guys left and right and going to bars, clubs and God knows what else. I was shocked she still didn't get help. I cried for the first time in 7 months it finally came out.
She wanted to come and help me move out, paint, but for some reason "Maybe a sign above" I got really sick as soon as I heard from her and couldn't see her. The next week she calls to see how I'm doing and I said good and I was painting. She said "Awww, you should of tell me I would have gone to help you... So I invited her for the next day... I call her that night to confirm and of course she magically got a job that day at 4pm to 12am... So how am I supposed to see her?
5 days goes by and she sends a text let me know when you are free... I get fed up because this as been going on for nearly one month... So I say "How about you let me know when you are free? You work 16 hours a day every week, the weekends you want to go to bars with guys and do crazy things... So, she texts, oh ok... lol "Bipolar people in forums were right, never talk to them when they are off their medication, they are evil and will suck you in again and again and destroy you again and again...

My girl was a great girl when on medication for the last 2 years. My Love, My Partner, My best friend, My companion" But I noticed the first 3 years were very hectic and I realize now she wasn't always taking her meds. And that's why she was tin and then thick... When she was tin, she always would go crazy for nothing, when thick... 0 problems. It all makes sense in the end. It's like I'm in a movie but I'm living it.

Best advice, is to take care of yourself, do things for you. And just tell yourself that the person you Loved was ill and will be ill forever. They will hurt themselves, the new people, the family and the people from their past. It's a life of hell. But if they take care of themselves they can have a good relationship. Just like her mom and dad do now... One of them has bp for sure... So it does work, but both partners need to understand what to do when they are not ok.

I know what to do now, I've educated myself on it. With forums, support groups, bipolar forums, relationships with a bipolar partner... It helps a lot in the end. Hopefully one day we can all laugh at what we've been through. You need to remember the loving they give us is also part of the illness... Seems like no one see's it that way but me. Sure they love, but they love too much sometimes, which isn't always them in the end. When they want to marry after 2 dates... That's not them for example.

I really wish their was a amazing movie of bipolar something like we've all been through. Maybe show 3 different couples and what they go through. Because right now no one seems to understand what it is until they get hurt. People are dating manics right now... Having sex... Living with them... It's really nasty and sick. Basically you are having a relationship with someone that is very sick and cheating on a wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend. Then, they look like the mad ex after them when in reality it's you that are the person that they are cheating with on.

When I see people talk above their bf's and gf's left them after 2 to 7 months... It's usually the same story over and over. They'll tell you that their ex's abused them mentally and physically... In reality, all they were trying to do was get them help... Just like I did and they would do if they were in our situation.

It's sad, gross, sick, and simply devastating for everyone involved with someone like this off medication.

Typing all of this and yet I'm still waiting for her to crash and go back home and get the help she needs. What more do you want in life? You have someone here who supports you and understand what you have more then anyone else will ever... But, that's what they do in the end, they push away anyone they love or people that know what they have. And they go create a new world of bad, ugly and evil. When they crash, they get rid of all the bad people, and go to the good again. It's strange, but after reading 1000+ messages in forums, this is what I noticed.

My prayers are for everyone, and hopefully one day they'll be a cure for this, in my opinion it's worst then aids, cuz they hurt everyone including themselves for life.
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Users who thank theoasis77 for this post: KungFuManda 

replied January 3rd, 2013
Hi everyone,

I have read every single post on here because i am going through the same thing. i was very happily dating my boyfriend for the second year when one night he came back a completely different person. it was as if he didnt even know who i was anymore and he had found a new "soulmate." he was also extremely manic and i knew right away that he was not well. he was hospitalized that week and diagnosed with bp and psychosis. he has not communicated with me for 3 months now, after i was his biggest supporter, and obviously it has been extremely hurtful and shocking.

to the people who shared your stories a year ago- can anyone share how they turned out? did your bp partner ever come back...how did you handle it...did you end up going through the same thing..etc. just trying to prepare myself (i will see him in the next couple weeks for the first time) and it is very helpful knowing that im not alone in this crazy and awful experience. i have been taking care of myself and would never go back to my ex-boyfriend since i know it would put my through too much...but it's the old, good memories that hurt. i just pray that God heals him and also removes him from my thoughts and brings a better person into my life.

if anyone could please share i would really appreciate it! thank you
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replied January 9th, 2013
Repeat mistakes much?
Geez people!!! Are you all listening to yourselves?!! Do any of you have children? I sure hope not!! I am a strong independent woman and I've been in two relationships that both were bipolar as well. The first cheated constantly and worked out Of town & only home 8 days a mth and after 10 years..I'm Done. The next couldn't make up his mind & his moods were starting to affect my own to no end & yes I love him but there's no life there. He's so caught up in his battle that he can't really love. Without meds & therapy there's no chance. Even with both the odds are slim. You only get one life, one chance. Don't keep repeating the pattern. They want you when ur busy and when u give them what they want they change it. Move On! stay gone & live for YOU. This isn't high school anymore. We are adults. I swear it's like reading a high school drama fest with daisys and petals of "Does he love me?" Ugh
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Users who thank BlondeDixie for this post: KungFuManda 

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replied February 3rd, 2013
I'm in love with a bipolar and yes, it's all so the same as this, I can't have a conversation with him about anything as he makes a huge drama, turns and points all fingers possible at me and then drops me like I don't exist for months on end. This went on twice before he started to get diagnosed, still not medicated, but then he thinks he has a special purpose in life, like Neo from the Matrix as he keeps telling me, relationships are not important when he has such a big purpose.

Look no matter how much you love someone and I truly believe this is my soulmate, you have to look at your life and how you want it to be. As much as I love him, I would die for him.............there is no way my life is going to be filled with this and medicated or not, it seems the same to greater or lesser degrees.

Ask yourself do you want a life full of anger, condescending arrogance and don't we all just love the patronising wordy lording it up responses if we dare step out of their specific comfort zone of conversation. The one I had last night was 'Surely there are more deserving on your substantial Facebook list and I implore you to keep growing on your journey'......implore, one of those bipolar words (they love their words not used since 1730, that sound big and grandios). I only offered him some distance reiki as he has moved again, back to where his ex wife lives (he seems codependent on his ex wife for some reason).

Fact is, these people can make you a mess and have clearly made some of you a mess..........you can't absorb it and you have to ask yourself, what you really want in your life.

I love him with all my heart, but I am almost certain that I am done with this now, as I deserve better............I deserve a loving, happy, stable partner and I don't want one I have to worry is going to up and leave every five minutes, or is going to loan money he can't pay back.

They change so much, there is no stability, love one day, utter distaste for the same person the next. Noone wants that, really..............be strong people, you have to move on, I am reading all these and I realise now how identical you all are in your situations, that I don't want to end up the same (well I have been for a year and a half).

Much Love
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replied February 23rd, 2013
Thank God for the internet! I was going insane for the past few days. My bf of over a year just up and left (again) after a small argument escalated and turned into something completely different.
This might be the third? time he did this but this one was pretty bad, "I can't give you what you want", "I will let you down" etc etc. And a week before was talking of moving to another town (we live together now), sending I love you texts, missing me from work and poof...now he can't do this.
I will add he just started a business and is under tremendous financial stress which is not helping the situation at all. But I can't bring up ANYTHING without him wigging out. I see so many similarities in these stories it's scary. I was feeling so sick and terrible and reading these made me feel a little better. It really isn't me, it's him. It still sucks though...when you love someone that much and they just drop you....
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replied April 19th, 2013
I am new to this forum,but need advise on this topic desperately. I met my boyfriend three months ago. We literally fell in love immediately. He told me a little bit about his bipolar and that he was off his meds for right now. I have never dated anyone with this, so i blew it off. Throughout the entire time we were dating, he would tell me how i am too pretty for him and i can do better and how he hates himself. Horrible self esteem issues. I tried to reassure him that i love only him. Well, this past week everything was going GREAT. Literally two nights ago at midnight he told me he loved me and couldnt wait to marry me. The next morning he texted me and told me to F off and never to contact him again. No explanation. Nothing. I am crushed. I know he has bipolar, but does anyone think he will come back? After he literally wroshipped the ground I walked on eight hours before, now this? I am crushed. Any imput would be appreciated. Thank you.
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replied April 19th, 2013
Hello, I am new to this forum but need advise on this topic desperately. I met my boyfriend three months ago and we fell in love immediately. Everything was going great. Too good, actually. He would tell me how he couldn’t live without me, how he wanted to be with me forever, how I was too perfect for him. He would also say how he hates himself and that I can do so much better and that I am going to hurt him. Major self esteem issues. Early on, he also told me about his bipolar and that he is off his meds for the time being. He also drinks. Well this past week, this were going GREAT. Two nights ago, he literally told me how much he loves me and how he can’t wait to marry me. Then, the bomb dropped the very next morning. I got a text from him saying to F off and never speak to him again, no explanation, nothing. I am crushed. Does anyone think he will come back? This has to be the bipolar right? How can he go from one extreme to the other SO quickly? Help please!
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replied April 19th, 2013
Don't be a doormat
Pinkdaisy25,
Yes, I do think he will come back. BUT, you do realize this is a pattern. He will continue to break your heart repeatedly. I dated my ex almost 7 years before I finally gave up and went no contact. He will still try to sneak in my life by randomly texting me loving thoughts, but I no longer respond. He hurt me terribly and for "NO REASON". I literally wasted 6.5 years of my life for a man that only treated me with love and respect for 6 months. It was my fault because I refused to see how messed up he truly was. I am accountable for allowing him back into my life time and time again. Please don't be like me. It is nothing but heartbreak. I don't have time on my side for that. We are both in our 40s. This illness gets worse with age and believe me, I want no part of it. As much as you are hurting, and I know it is painful, it is for the best if you stay away from him forever. I promise you, if he is doing this now it will only get worse. Trust me, I've lived it and would not wish this on anyone. It's very sad. Hopefully you will take this to heart. (((hugs)))
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Users who thank SadSallie for this post: guest20788 

replied March 6th, 2014
You are so right SadSallie...reading your response was exactly what I am going through right now. I have been on and off with my ex boyfriend for about 5 years and it is all you mention. He left me again last week and not even was the night over before he went back to one of his ex's. I was in awe...yesterday, he tells me that he never loved me and that he doesn't want me...he said that he was going to marry this other woman. I am 35-years old and he is 32, and I am not getting any younger. He truly continues to hurt me and even though I love him deeply, I must let go. Thank you for your words and advice. Take care!
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replied April 19th, 2013
Hello!
Here is my story.I met this guy for almost one year ago and from the first moment it was like it meant to be together. I was 34 ,he was 27.Long distance relationship but quite short so we could meet or travel once a month for almost one week each time. He was the most loving and caring person I ve ever met. When not together we talked on skype for 5 hour a day ,mostly he was calling or searching me ,he wanted me to meet his parents etc...from the third date he told me he was diagnosed with cyclothymia but he doesn t get any medicine cause he feels good the last two years.I noticed that some days he felt exhausted with no reason ,had long naps etc while other days he was VERY BUSY ,had a lot of things to do and even too creative...I d meet him and we were making plans and suddenly he dissapeared from nowhere..2 days after he called and he told me why I did that big issue and that he has the right to disappear...then we continued talking on the phone but slightly...and then wrote me on skype that we have to finish,that he is not ready for real realtionship etc (during the time we ve been together he was telling me he doesn t believe in love ,he will never make me happy,he will end alone in his life etc). After this message he disappeared ,I contacted him some times,we talked but very cold...All suddenly he disappeared for 4 weeks totally ,didn t respond to texts or calls and I found out that he was already meeting someone else much younger than him...I tried to contact him to get an anser ,but nothing till I told him I go to his homecity to find out what s happening..he called me and told me not to do that and that yes he meets a girl and nobody else and it s very loose and not that intense ,emotional and absorbing like it was with me and that he feels great about that though he just likes her and no deeper feelings...He told me he doesn t want anyone to fall in love with him or be into him and no big feelings around,then he disappeared again...called me on my birthday one month later,he was still with this girl,he was happy but he told me what they have is nothing big and cannot be copmared with what we had but he s happy with that...he also told me that before going to bed he visualises the 3 ways of his death and he was describing to me that...then he disappeared again for one month until I called previous week from unknown number...he is still with the same person-for 3 months now-he told me again that he has no feelings for her or she for him except liking each other and that he doesn t want to have any contact with me cause we are back in our subject (while he was the one telling me before that we could keep a contact but he never did)...He also told me that our relationship was too important so he had to end it..But imagine that one day he broke up with me cause he was not ready for a relationship and the other day,while he still had contact with me-he moved on with someone he just met.I don t know what is in his mind and why he acts like that...he also told me in this last call that he likes to disappear sometimes and at this time he wants to disappear from me and some other people as well..I m trying to forget but all this pattern happened very quickly in 1-2 months.I m shocked!He treats me like I never existed,but he was the one telling me I don t want you to leave while we ve been together or that he couldn t stand a moment without having me in his life or stop talking to me...Is he cyclothymic?Or is he bipolar?Should I believe that he has no feelings for her?Then why is he 3 months with her instead of going around and having fun with different girls-he was telling he doesn t want a relationship?
I lost 5 kg in 3 weeks,I couldn t sleep or concentrate because of all this situation but now things are a little bit more clear..I just wonder if he is a jerk or if he s really sick.
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replied April 23rd, 2013
My Bioplar B.F.
Well I was in a 6 year relationship with a man with bipolar.. He was on a medication but a low dose and it did not help him much at all.
He could be loving one minute and very hateful and angry the next.. He would curse all the time, He was never every really that great to my kids, he never got involved in their lives, I actually felt he was jealous of them and they despised him. It got to the point to where I was walking on "egg shells" around him and never knowing what to expect from him... Not only that but He hated me being on the phone, didn't want me on the computer and complained if I like a certain T.V. Show that did not interest him.. I left him 4 times and for good this time.. He was draining me emotionally, I felt like I was loosing what sanity I had left.
Now that I'm out of this I now feel at peace and trust me when you don't have peace in your life you don't have nothing... Prayers for you all and many hugs..
My Best advice Run and don't ever look back.
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