Medical Questions > Mental Health > Bipolar Relationships Forum

Bipolar boyfriend left again and I had been warned (Page 3)


May 28th, 2011
Experienced User
Ive been reading again all the very similar stories here,this forum and this thread has been so important for me. Im in another country, its nearly a month I dont see him, I miss him so very much and remember when he wrote emails missing me the last time I was away, not this time, he still writes a lot, however he is emotionally distant and this is grieveing me so. For ex, I did tell him that I had a date with someone else, a normal person would feel some jealousy, we have been togheter for more than one year and I have done nothing wrong to lose him, however he wrote accepting I had a 'boyfriend' now, actually it was only a date.
He used to be SO jealous of me, where has it all gone, I wonder, the missing, the lovely emails, the jealosy that was flattering, the phone calls asking to go out, etc, I miss him desperately and he behaves like Im nothing to him.
Im now in three antidepressants and trying to cope. Im afraid to go back to stay near him in case he goes on shunning me (he will) and life will lack lustre and happiness, or to stay here away from him and he will completely forget me or even worst, find somebody else.
So how can they forget about their loved ones like that? Not long ago he told me I was the `first one on his mind`and sent me a lovely card saying I was the most important person in his life, how do you go from this to not wanting to continue the relationship when nothing major happened to change it? If I say something like that to someone I mean it. They dont.
Please all the people in this thread update your stories. You are friends now.
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replied May 28th, 2011
Experienced User
Ive been reading again all the very similar stories here,this forum and this thread has been so important for me. Im in another country, its nearly a month I dont see him, I miss him so very much and remember when he wrote emails missing me the last time I was away, not this time, he still writes a lot, however he is emotionally distant and this is grieveing me so. For ex, I did tell him that I had a date with someone else, a normal person would feel some jealousy, we have been togheter for more than one year and I have done nothing wrong to lose him, however he wrote accepting I had a 'boyfriend' now, actually it was only a date.
He used to be SO jealous of me, where has it all gone, I wonder, the missing, the lovely emails, the jealosy that was flattering, the phone calls asking to go out, etc, I miss him desperately and he behaves like Im nothing to him.
Im now in three antidepressants and trying to cope. Im afraid to go back to stay near him in case he goes on shunning me (he will) and life will lack lustre and happiness, or to stay here away from him and he will completely forget me or even worst, find somebody else.
So how can they forget about their loved ones like that? Not long ago he told me I was the `first one on his mind`and sent me a lovely card saying I was the most important person in his life, how do you go from this to not wanting to continue the relationship when nothing major happened to change it? If I say something like that to someone I mean it. They dont.
Please all the people in this thread update your stories. You are friends now.
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replied May 28th, 2011
hey
hi, I am sorry you feel the way you do.. I havent been up here long but my bipolar ex left me 3weeks ago on mothers day after just coming back 4days before telling me he ready for the life we talked about and how he loved me so much,,,,etc It felt great cause we planned having a baby and everything, he was sweet, there, loving and then out of no where got up out of bed 1 30 am mothers day morning and started crying saying he did not know what was wrong with him and did not talk to me for 4hours then he left me in tears and havent heard from him since!!1 Im lost,hurt broken hearted because I truly thought he loved me and he just walked out my life like I was never anything, we were friends for a year I did not know he was bipolar and now im crying hurt lost trying to figure how to get over him
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replied May 28th, 2011
Experienced User
this is truly bp ny friend
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replied May 28th, 2011
Experienced User
yeah my lovely bf today had a huge rage attack with his parents. and hes nearly 7 feet tall so its kinda scary. and his dad whos also huge has bp and yelled right back and i covered my ears and his mom who was there said they are just blowing wind. blah i dont care if thats what they were doing. i hate yelling and arguing in the first place. i know now though hes going to go off of his meds because he told me he was. oh great then i get to deal with his depression and manic where he doesnt have feelings for me and oh this girl is so hot i want to date her and i just want friendship with you. i can see that happening already.
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replied May 29th, 2011
Experienced User
Yes, I could have written that, it is absolutely the same.
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replied May 29th, 2011
Experienced User
yeah i phoned him today and i got his dad and his dad admitted that my bf forgot to take his meds for a few days. hmm i wondered hes like h double hockey sticks when he forgets and it takes a week for him to get back to himself. i also think his dad "forgot" to take his meds too by the way he was acting. his dad is also bipolar
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replied June 1st, 2011
We are all in the same boat!
Well, its two months now ladies and still no word from him. I just don't understand how you can be w/ someone for a yr and just two months ago you were madly in love w/ them then go off and accuse them of things and say nasty names and then never call, return emails or come around anymore. I can't get him out of my mind but each day is getting better. Just keep praying that God removes him from my mind and that I can meet someone sane who is going to mean it when they say they love me and just not up and go away like I'm a piece of crap without any closure. I feel where yall coming from seriously.
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replied June 1st, 2011
Experienced User
yezh my bp boyfriend today is in a mood and he was behind getting ready for work and i phoned him and he was annoyed and said i have to hurry and he wasnt in that much of a hurry because he stopped a mcdonalds before work. anyway i phoned his cell and texted him to see what was up since he was ignoring me and how i ended up finally getting him to answer me was saying we are threw because i knew he wasnt so busy he couldnt even text me the word busy if he was so busy which he wasnt. and his excuse was that his ringer was off. maybe so but he probably knew i was phoning and texting him because i am sure he had vibrate on
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replied June 27th, 2011
bi-polar moving on
well i just found out this weekend that my bp-ex is already moving in with a new guy already... im so upset how is it som easy for them to move on like this? just weeks ago she was in my arms sleeping in my bed.. she has children oh can she move in with this guy that she really dont know?? im so devistated and feel awful we just moved into our house just 3 months ago and now shes out again and moved on to this guy without missing a beat we have been together for 5 years i just dont know how its so easy for her can someone help me to understand this?? how is so easy for them to jump from one person to another just like that...
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replied June 27th, 2011
Experienced User
RTJ Im so very sorry, this is because of the ilness, friend. Mine did exactly the same, in September we were so well together and one day out of the blue he phoned me telling me that he was NOT my boyfriend, never had been, and soon after phoned me actually beside a new woman he was going out with, telling me he was with her.
I nearly died. The grief was more than I could cope. However, about three weeks later he phoned me and came to see me and left the other woman saying horrible things about her. I have reasons to believe that he really did not see her again in any significant manner.He spend all his weekends with me till April when he broke with me again for no reason, over the phone again. However, we are still writting daily to each other and he is telling me he is alone and that he is not open to love! He keeps telling me and my family how much he likes me, but he is certain we are not in a relationship any longer. I dont know till when, he comes back. I would tell you to find another woman who is going to love you so much as you deserve. So many women would like a loving man like you and you are wasting your love on someone who is not able to reciprocrate.
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replied June 29th, 2011
help me
oh today is a terrible day for me.. im really struggling with all this i know i have to move on and let go but i dont know what to do with the love i have for her, and what am i goig to do if or when she tries to comeback into my life? i got to find the strenght to say no... but there is a big part of me that still wants her back these are the things that drives me crazy i will never understand how a person that claims to love you so much then turns it off and leaves.. i am still so heart broken i gave this person everything my hole life was rapped up with her... all the medical appointment im the one that took her... ware was this guy or guys when that was going on??? no one but me was by her side thru all the sad days of deppresion..it was me by her side.. taking car of her children, paying her bills, provide anything she needs.. and its me that is left standing alone... i have loved her unconditionly.. i have never looked at another woman i have been dedicated to her...so im soooo confused at how is it so easy for her to shut me out and start a new life like this??? just a few short week ago she was in my arms and now she is moved on to someone else... this has happened manytimes before this is just so confusing......... i wish someone could help me understand...was it all just a big lie?? did she ever really love me?? was just a fool blind to what i wanted out of this 5 year relationship?? how is it so easy for her??????????
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replied June 29th, 2011
Experienced User
Hi Rtj
I feel your pain.Its really umbeliavable that BP people can change that much.I also believe that my bf is seeing someone else. My problem is, Im in the UK and he is in South America. Im going back in August, but I dont think he is on his own. I also gave him all my best, helped him financially, went out exclusively with him, helped when he was out of work even with clothes and paid a trip out of the state. He used to say the most lovely things to me, phone me day and night, come to see me three to four times a week, sleep with me, etc, and suddenly he is nothing more for me, he says he is not my bf and does not love me to be my husband, so when did he change, for not long ago I was his only one, his first one, we were going to spend all our lives together, he liked me, I was amazing, etc. Now he is only my friend, and has asked me to move on and find another relationship. Im normal, how can I, this man was everything for me for more than one year, my life is also wrapped up with his. However, I m keeping my distance,if I cannot switch off my love I have to switch on my self respect. I urge you to do the same, BP or not they are disrespecting us and our trust in them, our friendship for them and our love for them so keep away from her and dont expect too much, you seem to be a very nice man, please find a normal woman who is going to love you as you certainly deserve.
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replied June 29th, 2011
sad day
thank you Reggiane for the support.. i have been thru other breakups in my life but this has been the hardest thing i have ever been thru... there is nothing i wouldnt do for her.. the funny thing is she really has never been there for me!! anytime i have gone thru anything i struggled with i did it alone!! if i tried to lean on her it just stressed her out.. you sound like a very nice person your self!! i have read many of your posts and my heart goes out to you... i see that you have been going thru this for a long time too... me, this has been going on for 5 years.. on an off again an again.. i just pray that she stays away from me now that she has a new guy.. but im afraid that wont be the case she has moved out and in with other guys before.. just to start calling crying..then it starts all over again... you are right we deserve so much better and deserve to be with someone that truly loves us back i can only hope that god will remove this from my heart and mind soon.. i feel like im falling into a depression my self i cant afford to let that happen.. i gotta move past this forever and be free from all this madness.. one thing that i stuggle with is the thought that she will ride off in the sunset and live happy ever after... after all the effort i have put in this relationship that is very hard for me... but i know how she is and the same crazy pattern will start with him this time and he will be the next person that will be destroyed... just very sad... i wish i could go asleep and when i woke up it all just been a bad dream.. but you be strong.... he is a fool to loose such a great person like you, they all are.. i really believe that they dont know how to love or dont have the capacity to love.. they know all the words but thats all it is!!! just words......... just another sad day...
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replied June 29th, 2011
Experienced User
I think life is too precious to waste with such mess as they are getting us into. As you read my posts you know that I have benn through hell and back with him sending me loving emails and next minute a very hateful one, saying we were going to be together forever and next treating me like if im something the cat brought in, sitting in a restaurant and him looking at every woman who comes in and flirting with waitresses, after phoning and asking with the most sweet voice if I could please forgive him for being horrible to me.
I have just wrote him an email, perhaps the last one. I truly feel that this is it. I cannot bear the situation any longer. In this email I mention to him that he said to me that if we moved in together he would look for sex in the street as well, suddenly it snapped into place in my mind that this is sooooooo abusive, so inappropriate,so hurtful, so unecessary. I dont need it in my life anymore, Im a loyal and faithfull woman,im not bad looking,im loving and caring.I need to start to take care of myself and so do you.
Dont let this betrayal to make you depressed, she is not caring and you are putting your life on hold for her. They do exactly that, they go, they find other people, they have risky sex and they expect that when the mania subsides WE will be faithful waiting for them like if nothing happened, till next time.
I plan to change my phone number. He went to far and he doesnt want to go the doctor, I sent him a list of BP traits and they are hIM completely, but he denies it. Im running away , to the arms of a normal, boring, stable man.
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replied June 30th, 2011
Good for you I hope that one day this to will pass from me it has been some time sense i talked to her she wont call text or nothing...so hurtful.. just not long ago she would call me all thru the day every day and now complete silence.. like i never existed.. after 5 years this is all gone i am so amazed that i ment so little to her.. i am so sad i dont even know just how to let go and move on i try to meet other people but all i do is think of her.. i cant get her out of my mind... i try to stay busy but it still comes back around just so depressing.. i cant stand it anymore...i hope that you stay strong please pray for me that god will give me the strenght to move past this i really need help with this i feel so alone....
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replied June 30th, 2011
Experienced User
I did pray for you just now, your story has touched me , it is so much like mine, I also dont understand how someone who phoned 5 times a day will now treat me like if I dont even exist anymore, I have done nothing to deserve it and nothing to change his feelings for me, they have just changed out of the blue, i have been suportive, loving, caring and I wont anymore. This is it.My friend just told me that he wrote an email to her telling her that I gave him presentes to 'buy' him. I couldnt believe it, as I did help him because he needed it, he was out of work and didnt even have proper trousers, so I got him that and three pairs of shoes and socks for him to feel better dressed, also a mobile phone that he needeed. I have never seen such a thing in my life, as he twists even my generosity saying I was buying him. He took a lot of money from me, asked to borrow and never paid, needed help when going out and many times I paid the dinner. I tell you, no wonder I feel used and abused. Never, never again.Never, never. You also will get to the point that you will see that love will not garantee you a happy life with this woman, you will slowly let her go , you will remember her but without the sting, and one day you will find an attractive nice normal girl who can be with you forever, providing you with days of joy and nights of secure faithful sex, with a family life and children that are NOT bipolar. Think about it.
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replied July 1st, 2011
I know what you meen I too gave her tons of money and she even took money never to return or pay back they just take and take.. it is truly sad that they dont see what a great person they have in front of them but yet they are so destructive there drama becomes our drama... I do want to have a normal loving relationship with someone that is stable and is not affraid to show how they feel to be with someone without woundering is this just a front or does she really mean what she is saying...uggg... i long to be with a person to love and be loved back I hate the thought of being alone that is something i have to work on.. this madness has gone on for so long my self esteam is gone.. i know im a good person and i have alot to offer.. I just have this hole in my heart that hurts so bad an emptiness that brings me to my knees sometimes... when i love sombody its the real thing i dont or have never played with someones heart or life.... i could never do to someone what has happened to me, the pain runs so very deep.. I know i will heal but i will be scared from this... one day this will all be but a painful reminder of a time when I tried to be with a person that was not good for me.. I dont want anything bad to happen to her I know she will go on and the same thing will continue in her life because she knows no other way.. for me i will have the confort knowing that i am in control of my life and to look for the signs... we are good people Regg, we ware our hearts on our sleeves that makes us an easy target to be taken advantage of.. so we have to beware of te people we choose to be close with.. i know that sound like we have to be on guard but really we do.. one day you will find the man of your dreams too, that will help to finaly put this all to rest and regain your self worth... because we are worth everything we are the rare good people living in this crazy world... it will get better what we have to do is believe and have faith that we will be ok.. every day is a challange for me, i still have moments that i break down an cry and wounder why is it so easy for her to run to another person with no reguard to what we had and the love i gave her.. we have to keep our face to the sun and the wind at our backs an keep pushing forward.... thank you for praying for me i will keep you in my prayers...
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replied July 1st, 2011
Experienced User
RTJ, thanks, I also had a bad two days, he keeps emailing me and saying he does not love me, I told him that he already said that and I know, however I told him also that BP people are unable to feel much emotion in a consistent basis, they come and go and want to come again to the relationship, but that I dont want him anymore now, Im normal, I fell in love and I meant it, now I want out and i mean it. I said that I know that he will come back asking to go out and see me again, but im done with the madness, no more.
I fell stronger now to finish this part of my life.I hope I will be strong when he comes phoning me when Im back in my own country in August. I intend to change the chip and number of my mobile. I've had enough of someone who cannot even love a person who was with him for so long, who gave him so many lovely moments, whom he professed to care and have feelings for and was going to give a lot of love and care, he was my 'husband' and I was his 'wife' and now Im nothing and treated like if I have the problem one of the emails he says 'God, help her, if thats the way she is feeling', but he fails to see that he put me in this situation, im normal, if I spend that amount of time and emotion on a man it is because I intend to be with him, not to drop him along the line like if he was never anything for me like he did with me and your gf did with you. It is devastating. Someone in this forum said about BP' The sharp reversal of their love is phsychologicaly damaging to you' and that is a fact.
Take care, go out there and I believe you will find a nice normal woman in no time.Do an effort to put your life in ordem , you seem to be such a caring lovely man any woman would want, dont waste all that on someone who is not capable of loving you back.
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replied July 3rd, 2011
Hi Regg, I hope things are getting bgetter with you, I admire your strenght I decided to go camping with my family I do try to stay busy but all I think about is her i feel like a prisoner all my thoughts and emotions are locked up with her seems like nothing I do helps to get past this...uuug but every day is a new day to keep fighting to push forward I think you are right the part that i struggle with the most is how they love one min then they dont.... it is very damaging so much to one sence of well self.. I to when I love someone it is for real!! and I dont just stop loving all of a sudden this is what is such a struggle.. I mean did she even mean or feel all the things she told me?? or was I just a fool that fell into her game that all I was to her was someone to take care of her and her children?? Its so hard to believe that a person could be that twisted to take complete advantage of someone like that.. going as far as to talk about getting married and relocating to another state and wanting to start over and have this great relationship....... then the next week she leaves and takes off with another guy just like that... well i guess this has been an incredible learning experiance for me.. a painful one for sure i hope that someday I will be able to get over this...........
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