Medical Questions > Mental Health > Bipolar Disorder Forum

Bipolar bf. Heartbroken. Confused. (Page 1)

Do you ever feel like crying will make them come back to you? If you think hard enough about every good memory you both shared together he'll come back? Ha I just asked his sister if he changed his number and she said that she would have to ask him if she could give it to me. Haha. What did I do to deserve this? I gave him everything and asked for so little in return. I wish he saw that. I tried killing myself my father found me passed out. I was hoping in this time of unconsciousness he'd say something to me. Yeah I know it's unhealthy. I've been ignored like this. Never gone so long without seeing him. What on earth did I do to deserve this? Is this Gods way of punishing me for getting an abortion at 15? For being such a sucker for guys that show me they care? Mind you I've been in three relationships. I'm not one to open my legs but I made a mistake at such a young age and I think my punishment is this. Being with someone who I thought cared about me but never did. How could he just ignore me like this? 2 years of being together. Wow. I feel so sick to my stomach. I just want him to come back. What did I ever do to deserve this? Is it the bipolar? Or is it just he fell out of love with me suddenly?
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replied June 6th, 2011
Experienced User
this sounds like bipolar. my bf is the same way and theres lots of other stories the same.
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replied June 6th, 2011
Oh I know it is bipolar. He was diagnosed with it. I just hate it.
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replied June 7th, 2011
Experienced User
Janelle

It is a trait of Bipolar to leave you and disappear. They forget, their feelings change. They do come back, mind you. Mine went in September, came back in November, went in April and is still saying he thinks Im wonderful, amazinhg, he cares but he does not LOVE me, as if he knew what love is. They dont.He wants to be alone.I dont know for what.
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replied October 14th, 2012
My BF woke up and left, saying "it's over" and that too over a little argument. He kissed me and left! Wow, and we were planning engagement this december, marriage next summer....I am kinda confused and baffled!!

Now he won't answer my phone calls or text, I do not understand this drastic change in personality!!
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replied October 14th, 2012
My BF woke up and left, saying "it's over" and that too over a little argument. He kissed me and left! Wow, and we were planning engagement this december, marriage next summer....I am kinda confused and baffled!!

Now he won't answer my phone calls or text, I do not understand this drastic change in personality!!
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replied June 8th, 2011
Experienced User
I advise you not to go after him, not to panick, leave it be, they do come back, it is the illness. Specially do not try to kill yourself over it, if this is producing this extreme reaction on you youd better get another boyfriend because to be with a BP partner is very hard and takes a special person to get on with it.
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replied June 8th, 2011
It's hard. Today was the first day I didn't text/call him first. He was mad that I wasn't frantically freaking out trying to talk. When we did talk occasionally he gave me hope that things would get better. Like yesterday for example he said that I should stay over then he said let me talk to you in a little. I said okay and got ready and tried to look nice. I was so happy. Then he texts me saying that he's having people over and they're staying the night and he's not sure if I should come over cause it'd be weird. I was like are you serious? And then I said absolutely nothing to him till he texted me today all mad.

I'm so confused he's messing with my head. It's as if this week and a half apart isn't killing him which I'm sure it's not but it sucks how much it's killing me. Today though I'm oddly doing okay. I realized I have some sort of sense of power. If I don't talk or say anything he'll say something.

I hope youre doing okay though Reggiane. Stay strong.
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replied June 9th, 2011
Experienced User
Dont throw yourself on him and dont throw away your self respect. Respect yourself and he will too. Nobody likes a doormat. Dont contact him and give him the impression that you are moving on. Cut ALL communication with him, I heard that if you have oNE chance of getting your bf back it will be by butting him from your life. They feel it and they miss you. Do that.
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replied June 9th, 2011
I just found this bipolar site for some odd reason! And glad I have. I was dx with bipolar many years ago although I am doing great with my meds and have a stable relationship with my parents with whom I stay with I am unable to have a relationship with any man. I have had a wonderful bf for almost a year now and I do nothing but run him off. It will be great for a couple of months but the BAM I cant talk to him the sight of him makes me ill or the thought of him touching me makes me angery. And its not him! I was honest with him from the start but it doesnt matter its never easy he doesnt understand and y should he. I dont know y we grow out of people! I refuse to have friends! I am so sorry u r going thru with yr bf! I know we r mean people but I also its not him!
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replied June 9th, 2011
Experienced User
Bipolar 73

Do you go back to your boyfriend after you break up? Whe you grow out of him do you like him again after a while? My bf is exactly the same and he tends to come back after a fashion. I give him space, let him go and he boomerangs back later on.Please tell me. Do you grow feelings again after going off someone?
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replied June 9th, 2011
Experienced User
You hit the nail on the head.....they do not understand what love truly is.

Reggiane wrote:
Janelle

It is a trait of Bipolar to leave you and disappear. They forget, their feelings change. They do come back, mind you. Mine went in September, came back in November, went in April and is still saying he thinks Im wonderful, amazinhg, he cares but he does not LOVE me, as if he knew what love is. They dont.He wants to be alone.I dont know for what.
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replied June 9th, 2011
Haha just TEXTED me saying how he basically doesn't want to be with me right now that it's getting too much. Whatever I really don't know how to feel right now. You think somethings real and it's not. I hate this. I hate him so much. I've never wished so much bad things happen to someone. He lives with roommates I almost want to call the police and tell them that there's a bunch of people in a house doing drugs and possibly selling. Haha wow. I really just want to crush his heart like he did with mine. I don't know how to think right now. I don't even know if this is bipolar or not. I'm speechless right now. I hate him so much.
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replied June 9th, 2011
Experienced User
Don't hate....it's not all his fault.....you have to remember he has a mental condition which causes him to act different. The only advice I can give....is to move on and find someone who can love and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. It's going to take time....time to heal from all this...I know...I have been there and I'm still healing from the mess of 2.5 years....left me over 19 times....I look back and still wonder how I endured so much drama and trash in my life. To help the process...after the last childish episode I cut her off completely.....she can't email, text, call...nothing at all.

Janelle_Jennings wrote:
Haha just TEXTED me saying how he basically doesn't want to be with me right now that it's getting too much. Whatever I really don't know how to feel right now. You think somethings real and it's not. I hate this. I hate him so much. I've never wished so much bad things happen to someone. He lives with roommates I almost want to call the police and tell them that there's a bunch of people in a house doing drugs and possibly selling. Haha wow. I really just want to crush his heart like he did with mine. I don't know how to think right now. I don't even know if this is bipolar or not. I'm speechless right now. I hate him so much.
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replied June 9th, 2011
Experienced User
yeah my bf right now is ignoring me and he i think is at a stag because his sister is getting married in 2 days and hes friends with the groom so yeah hes probably drinking because yesterday he went manic and today he lost his job. hmm not surprising. i knew his mood change was going to be trouble
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replied June 9th, 2011
Experienced User
If you are having serious thoughts of suicide, you need to talk to someone, a priest, psychologist, or someone similar. It is not unusual for people to get depressed when an important relationship is negatively impacted (I know I felt that way for about six weeks after my former fiance stopped talking to me).

People with bipolar disorder need to be under the treatment of a physician, and based on some of what you describe, you might need to be under the treatment of a psychologist yourself.

As for revenge, just put it out of your head. If you love him, you need to understand that it is very likely the behavior is being strongly influenced by the illness. It is up to you as to how much you can handle, whether you are willing to wait for him to get better, and for how long.

The one thing that I can state with certainty is that God is most certainly not punishing you. Even if you believe strongly in his existence and that he interferes in the daily lives of mortals, there is no way you are going to be able to divine his will. Bad things happen to good people; good things happen to bad people. That is just life.

What is important is to learn from the experience and grow as a person. I know that sometimes it feels like we are being punished, but there is also good that will come out of it. For instance, my perspective on people with mental illness has changed dramatically in the last few months. I do not believe that it is divine intervention, but I do believe that I have been given the opportunity to learn to be more compassionate toward people who are mentally ill.
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replied June 10th, 2011
Yes I do go back to him after he finally gives me the space I need.
It sucks so bad cuz he is so good to me he will do anything for me. I dont want to hurt him. We talked last nite for the first time in 2 weeks I told him 2 find someone else that will treat him right! And I ment it! But he wont. I dont understand y! I also dont understand y I do what I do either sometimes. Sometimes I feel it coming on and I push him away by being really mean! U would think after 24 years of being dx with this crap I would be under control but I still get bad weeks! I know better times r coming my meds were just adjusted thats y its so important for people like us to be on meds cuz we can be somewhat normal. I had almost a whole year with no problems at all!! Hang in there girl please just dont let him hurt u!! If and when he wants help its there!
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replied June 10th, 2011
I hate him so much at this point. Luckily I control his phone. I'm shutting it off today and it'll be over. I blocked him from all online accounts and I will be changing my number. I hate him so much. He talks to me I say what is happening and he says "if you need to give up then give up""do whatever you feel is right" hahaha this guy never loved me. I hate him so much. I hate his mind games. I hate this. I'm so hurt right now.
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replied June 10th, 2011
Do what is best for u!
I am so sorry he is making u feel this way!! Made u should walk away it might be the best thing for u to do!!
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replied June 13th, 2011
Experienced User
Once again.....don't hate him.....just cut off all communications and move one. The hate is a reaction to the hurt you are feeling. It hurts to end a realtionship with some you truly love....I know....been there had to do that.....but life is too short to spend it in a realtionship that does nothing but bring missery into your life.

Chris

Janelle_Jennings wrote:
I hate him so much at this point. Luckily I control his phone. I'm shutting it off today and it'll be over. I blocked him from all online accounts and I will be changing my number. I hate him so much. He talks to me I say what is happening and he says "if you need to give up then give up""do whatever you feel is right" hahaha this guy never loved me. I hate him so much. I hate his mind games. I hate this. I'm so hurt right now.
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replied June 15th, 2011
Thank you all for you support. I'm doing a little better. Not gunna kill myself don't worryy haha. But yeah im getting used to the silence and what not from him.
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replied June 15th, 2011
I read these threads and feel even more hopeless. My bi polar boyfriend (he's on Lamictal) and I started couseling about 4 months ago. He walked out ofbourbhouse and notified me by email. He was gone 5 days home for two and is now gone. Much as I know its not me intellectually my heart tells me it's my failures. I have called and texted and begged for answers all the while knowing its the opposite of what I should do. I'm not a kid I'm 50. Feels like my life is over. I loved the guy. Does he just want out. Can he love me one day and abandon me the next. Four years I've never seem him thisbfar fine. He thinksneverybody is staring and watching and judging. I'm sure I'm making it worse by asking for an explanation. Is there any hope? What do I do? I feelnhis illness hasnmade all my phobias come out and now I'm the crazy one. Why do bi polarbdo this. Can they truly love. Is it possible?
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replied June 16th, 2011
I feel you. Now he's texting me calling me a b*tch because 3 times out of the 3 weeks we haven't seen each other I had lunch with my girl friends. Ha, he says that if I was so upset I wouldn't leave the house at all. He's crazy. I'm starting to see him for the monster he is. I don't think he ever truly loved me. The way he's treating me is ridiculous. I did absolutely nothing and I'm glad I'm realizing this. I'm glad I'm not panicking anymore. Yeah I feel like bipolar people are very selfish. Only care about their own emotions. I mean of course there's a small exception. I've talked to a few wonderful bipolar people on here and It's nice to see things from a different perspective. I just don't think my guy is a good person. I wish I saw all the signs before we had gotten together.
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replied June 18th, 2011
Update.

Well he came back. Things are good. We're working it out. I'm hoping this lasts. Thank you everyone for your support.
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replied June 20th, 2011
@ohcalcuta

Hahahahahaha excuse me?

Fix my life? I go to a University. I have a more then just a "good" job. I have an above average GPA. I'm going to therapy every week. I still have my friends.

And as for him he's going back on meds. He's going to therapy, as well as seeing doctors. Don't tell me I need to fix my life because it's already getting fixed and despite these past bad few weeks my life is probably better then yours @ohcalcuta.

I didn't come on to this site for criticism. I came on here for help. My situation is not even close to as bad as some people. I admit I came here and complained a lot when I was mad but that goes with my depression and anxiety which I am receiving help for. I shouldn't have I know. But I expected people who were going through the same thing to reply.

I reported your comment. Thank you for nothing. Very Happy
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