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Bipolar and I need advice.

Hello, I am a 21 year old female and I was recently diagnosed with Manic Bipolar Depression after a year of being mis-diagnosed with Depression. I am in the Navy so having this condition makes it extremely hard for me to succeed in the work-place. I have angry outbursts and everyone can always tell there is something wrong with me and when they ask it just makes it worse. I also have PTSD which has made this condition unbearable because it seems like every feeling I have, especially when it has to do with the trauma I went through, get intensified to the point where I have to lock myself in the bathroom for two hours til my episode passes. And its always random, I'll be having a wonderful day and then the next minute I either want to be completely isolated from every living being and just wallow in my own misery or I want to tear every single person apart bit by bit. I just hate being like this...I really don't know what to do. I've gone through therapy and that ended horribly and I finally gave medication a try and it did nothing for me except made me feel like I drank a cup of coffee. Even the PTSD meds didn't work, I was on blood pressure meds and volume and I continuously have the nightmares, the insomnia, the paranoia, the impulses. I just want to get better and be who I used to be. Can anyone help me?
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replied October 14th, 2013
Im not a doctor, and though you think therapy or meds dont time the right doc will put you on yhe right mix of meds to make it bearable...

My fiance seemingly is in a similar place as you described and said meds made her want to shed her own skin and she hated doctors and during her episodes would just lock herself away or destroy things or punch me in the face lol...i tell her whatever helps get rid of the pain without hurting yourself do it...punch me, i can take it lol... But she took seroquelle, not sure if thats how to spell it mixed with paxil and she felt good...forgot everything and hated herself for the memory loss, but like i told her, the pain inside is nothing she should have to deal with...i would recommend to keep looking for the right doc, meds, and supportive people to talk to and you will find some relief....nobody should go through that pain alone without help
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