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Bipolar and changing one's mind

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A devastating symptom of BP is changing mind constantly and radically.I had so much of it in the past 7 months with my BP boyfriend that sometimes this trait has changed my world from one pole to another in matter of minutes.
Once we were having a weekend away and had the most wonderful night together, in the morning he just got up, dressed way from me and announced that we did not have a relationship after all, there were other women in the world apart from me. Devastating statement coming from someone so loving and so full of praise words for me and my uniqueness for him. We went our separate ways and by two o clock that day he was already on the phone asking me to have dinner with him. During dinner he held my hand and was his old self again. Later he phoned me to go to his house for us to spend the night together, but I was still very hurt, he could not understand why I was hurt and closed the conversation suddenly and became unavailable on the phone for the rest of the evening. I was hurting too much by then and very bewildered, I took a train to see him at his house and he was incommunicado. In the next days he resumed our relationship as if nothing had happened.

Another time we took two days off and went to another state for a lovely weekend. In the morning of the second day he got up. packed all his things and announced that we were going home, not spending a planned day in a lovely old town. There was no reason for that, no fight before, nothing.

Also, another weekend away, in the evening, with paid hotel and everything, he just wanted to go back home, 5 hours traveling away, he picked a huge fight, we lost our money in the hotel and had to travel during the night home , for no reason whatesoever.

The last episode was the worst so far, as one day he was saying how much things were good for us, how much we loved each other , etc, and two days after he was screaming down the phone that we have never been gf-bf and it was all in my mind. He then disappeared, found a woman in a bar and started seeing her, only to start emailing me again and phoning me again saying he did not like her, and the latest, he only got her because I HAVE picked a fight. Now he is telling me he wants to be alone without any woman, but phones me with the most stupid reasons, I know he is regretting what he has done and wont be long he will want me back only to start the cycle or rejection again.
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replied October 30th, 2010
Experienced User
That sounds all too familiar.....I went through the same events....over and over again....for over 2.5 years. It wore me down to the point I was a basket case all the time. Once I finally pulled myself out of the relationship....and started to realize what I had endured I realized how lucky I am to be back to my mentally healthy self once again. To be in a relationship....even a friendship with someone who has BP is very difficult. It's not something I ever want to endure again....hearth ache, pain, just pure torment for me. There were times I thought I was the problem....far from the truth....she tried on many occassions to manipulate me and others within her life.....I remember one time she said, "I'm not going to try to get people to do what I want them to do anymore" however that statement had a half life of five minutes. She tend to change her mind on a regular basis....would say things out of the ordinary which didn't pretain to anything being said.....just a sad state of affairs. It's way too much drama and heart ache for me.....never again.....

Chris
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replied November 10th, 2010
Experienced User
update

He has just rang me and wants to see me , have dinner and ...wait for it, make love . He must be out of the depression and going into the highs. For someone who disappeared for a month and a half this is rich, out of the blue he wants to pick things where he left them.
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replied November 10th, 2010
Experienced User
If I were you....I would say no. I allowed the person back into my life too many times.....I should have cut my loses and moved on long ago.......instead I tried and tried to have a relationship with her. BIG MISTAKE! In fact I believe it's been the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life. The "right" choice, I finally made, was to cut her out of my life for good. If you look at it from a logical standpoint.....I believe you will always go through these cycles......regardless of what you do....nothing is going to change it. I found out the hard way.
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replied November 10th, 2010
Experienced User
Chris, help me to make sense of the whole mess.
1) He broke up with me a month and a half ago
2)Said we were not going to make love again or go out.
That day he looked like someone else, another person, I cannot explain.
3)Sent me a horrid email saying that my son does not love me and other people in my life, including him.
4) In ten minutes sent me an email saying how adorable I really am and that he really likes me and I know it.
5) Disappeared for a month, got a woman in a bar.
6) Phoned me to say he does not like her.
7)Phoned my father today after me.
Cool Talked to him later, he wanted to have dinner and sex!
9) I put him off for some hours, to decide later.
10 ) I phoned later to accept the dinner part, he was in a terrible mood and said his head is not ok and closed the mobile phone on me.

Actually I feel relieved we did not go out! Not one of the moods again.
But I feel for him and love him, horrendous as it may sound to anybody not in a crazy realationship with a BP.
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replied November 10th, 2010
Experienced User
I totally understand what your going through....I had the misfortune of living it for 2.5 years. There is no making sense of the situation......still to this day I grasp at an understanding of what happened. You must understand that the person truly has a mental condition....a condition in which the brains chemicals are not properly regulated....there is nothing you can do to change this. If he refuses medication to help regulate the situation....he will never live a normal life and even with medication he may still not live a normal life. You have a child.....do not expose your child to this. The person I was involved with had children.....her children are not well adjusted. Her daughter exhibits emotional difficulties and her son is heavily into drugs. This is because of the environment she provided them. She had various men moving in and out of her residence (all the while exposing her children to this environment).....never had a relationship that amounted to anything.....cheated on her first husband......her second husband left her due to her mental condition.....there is nothing but pain in this type of relationship. You have to break the cycle by booting him out of your life....not only for your own mental well being but your child as well.
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replied September 4th, 2015
Is this a bipolar disorder?
I meet this lady and after we kissed for the first time with in couple of hours she told me that what we have done was not right and shouldn't of happen. I got so sad cause she sounded like she really liked me when she was kissing me. it was amazing. Next day day she meet me and she was so happy, but she was telling me we should stay friends, I accepted it. few days after she came back to my place and kissed me again and told me she really likes me. Next day she ignored my calls and in the evening she said it was wrong what we done. I was shocked. I got sad and we had an argument. next day she said we should only be friends, I accepted but I still had feelings for her, one day I was about to meet another lady, she got jealous and said i shouldn't hang out with her. I start thinking that she likes me. we decided to become fiancee, the day we become fiancee same day she said it wasn't a good idea, and we should stop seing each other. I agreed, in the same night she didn't want me to go out clubbing, next day she was angry with me for partying, 3 months after we decided to get married, today we married and same nigh she said she wants to divorce and doesn't want to see me again cause she is annoyed that I am asking her all the time that if she really loves me. Tonight she is been ignoring my calls and texts after being so rude to me, day times she is quiet and in low mood, night times she is really relaxed and adorable
I dont know whats going on, she is always changing mind. Is this a bipolar disorder?
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