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Bi-Polar 53 old mother

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I am 23 years old I am married and I live with my mom dad sister and my husband. also I am 4 months pregnant as well. I am tired o f dealing with all the sreaming matches with her. Over the fridge not being shut, over my husand not cleaning the house the right way, over him being lazy. She goes after me as well because of that, but yet she wont take it up with him. She says she wont because he wont listen. I can't take screaming mnatches anymore or her burning sage at 5 am she says it keeps the evil spirits away. Or cleaning the clothes in lemon and salt. Also, she tells us to clean the house but says we cant use anything to clean and then complains it not being clean to her expectations. I am at my wits end if I had the money to money to move out I would. But then she says I can't move out. I am tired of the hour long screaming matches. I cant take it any more. I need help or advice on how to gp about this. I have trie dto tell her how she treats me but it just ends up in another screaming fit. i need help. any advice, also on what i could do different as well.
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replied July 13th, 2010
Sounds to me like you need to find a way to get out of there. It's not doing you any good, it's not going to do your marriage any good, and you won't be able to enjoy your new baby with all that stress in the house.

You can't change your mother - I'm sure you have worked that out already. The only thing you can work on are your reactions and thoughts/feelings she invokes.

BTW if I ever learn the secret to doing this, I'll get back to you and let you know, as my relationship with _my_ mother is a major trigger for my bipolar episodes.

Best of luck with everything, especially your baby. Look after YOURSELF.
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replied March 26th, 2012
Get out! It sounds like you are quite used to living with someone with bipolar and you will only truly realise how hard it has been once you leave. You need to find peace and stability. I lived with my mothers bipolar for years and it does get better once you DON'T live with it any more. You are about to be a mother yourself, and you don't want to bring a baby into that environment. I'm 40 this year and still coming to terms with my bipolar mother, but once I had my own place, my own space, peace and quiet to relax in, not treading on eggshells every day, it was amazing, remarkable, priceless, a sanctuary. I hope you find your own sanctuary soon, for your own family. Take care of yourself. I'm not saying don't love your mum, but you can do it sporadicly, when she's having a normal phase, and look after number 1, for a change, at this very important time in your life, when it truly should be about you xxx
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