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Behavior of men with erectile dysfunction

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(1) Talking about ED
I have yet to broach the topic with my husband about erectile dysfunction, but he has been showing behaviors that have been hurtful and have left me feeling rejected, unattractive and alone. After doing some research I think he may have ED, but how do I start a discussion about ED?

(2) Behaviors I've noticed/ encountered when I ask to have sex or show interest in sex:
- He'll call me a demeaning term for a promiscuous person and make me feel guilty that I want to have sex.
- If I say I'm horny he'll give me a condescending look and then starts sighing a lot.
- Constantly blames my weight on the fact that we don't have sex. He says things like, "Look at you, maybe if you didn't have this (grabs slight stomach fat), I'd want to have sex with you." I am 5'3", about 150 lbs. (a little bit over what I should be, but not obese by any means).
- When he agrees to have sex (about 1-2 times a month), he chooses a time an hour or more in the future and designates the time for sex to begin (taking out all chance for spontaneity).
- He ALWAYS goes to the bathroom before and after sex.
- No foreplay or afterward cuddling, its very quick 15-20 minutes.
- When all attempts fail to have sex and I go to another room to masturbate (out of respect for not doing it in front of him), and he knows or finds out about it, he gets very angry and curses me out.

Has anyone else experienced some similar behaviors from their boyfriends/ lovers/ husbands who have/ may have ED?
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replied March 24th, 2010
Hi there, thank you for posting your question on Ehealthforum. This is not intended as a substitute to visiting your own doctor.

This is all a bit cryptic. Erectile Dysfunction is defined by lack of erections sufficient to have intercourse, it is not defined by behaviour. In everything that you say about your husband we only get: "When all attempts fail to have sex ---". What does this mean?

If you like, please post again only this time tell me about your husband's erections or lack of them rather than his behaviour.. Maybe then I will be able to suggest something. Although, if he is as resentful as you say, its not going to be easy.

Dr Andrew Rynne.

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replied March 28th, 2010
try browsing "losing sexual power" and see what you can find, there is a good info ..
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replied March 28th, 2010
Community Volunteer
What is his age?....Has he always been like this or is this some new happening that has occurred?...No, I don't think your weight has anything to do with this....It's his excuse....Take care...

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