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Bad dreams when with boyfriend

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Hi. How come I always have bad dreams when i'm sleeping with my boyfriend? Sadly to say, almost every single time he's sleeping by my side. We don't sleep together often. Maybe just once every two weeks. For my dreams, they're rarely about him cheating on me so I ruled out jealousy. One of my dream was about zombies chasing and trying to kill me. Another was my parents, my brother and I trapped in somewhere. A few were about me running away from something, something scary. Other times I just couldn't remember the dream but know it wasn't a pleasant one. I rarely have these kind of dreams when i'm sleeping alone. Any help would be appreciated.

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replied December 8th, 2009
Sleep Disorders Answer A8338

Nightmares can be a result of stress and anxiety. The stress can be due to anything from work related, studies related or related to your relationship with your boyfriend. You could try and find out if you have insecurities related to your relationship.

The anxiety can come from some other sources, too. There could be memories of events in your childhood that may surface up when you are with your boyfriend, but you may not be aware of them.

I suggest you should visit a counselor for more help regarding this issue. You may even visit a sleep specialist for advice regarding sleep hygiene and sleep related disorders.


This post is for the purpose of providing medical information and is not a substitute for a face-to-face consultation with a doctor. This post is not intended to give or rule out a diagnosis, create a doctor-patient relationship or replace an existing one.

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replied January 3rd, 2010
I read this post becuase it is about dreaming and I am a very vivid dreamer. I just want to share a bit about what dreaming means to me as it might ring a bell somewhere for the person asking the qustion and other readers.

I find my dreams are often about how I feel or how I perceive the world. My dreams are like a window into my own unique soul and I can see who I am from another point of view not dictated to by the worlds standards.

Dreams provide a point of view that simply notices what is there warts and all without judging the content. Often they present as a dream story that can be just like watching a program on TV.

The point of view presented may not be how others see things but my dreams are often about how I am really feeling and my own biased but unique point of view. Not how I think I am supposed to feel.

I call my dream makers my dream team and see the dreams as a way my unconscious self can talk to my conscious self using a story or what I call a dream parable. The meaning is hidden in the story of the dream.

Between my dream me and my awake me we can make sense of this rather confusing world we all share. I find dreams help me be more aware of myself and so I can live in the awake world more conscious of what decisons I can make that are safe for me. Thats how I use my dreams as a tool in my life.

When you have a dream focus on the feelings in the dream and ask the feelings what they are about. The trick is to let the feelings be real even if they are quite astonishing to your awake self. You could be amazed at the answers that come to you. I often am.

Once you are in touch with the dream contents and the feelings your awake self can do something to help you. Your awake self can see a counsellor or write down the story of the dream so you can look at in a few days and see if the feelings have changed. There may even be new dream material on the same topic.

I often write up the dreams I just don't get at face value. The process of writing often makes the meaning of the dream clearer to me. I can look at them again in a few weeks or a few months time when the intensity of the feeling the dream brought to my attenetion are less immediate.

Some dreams are frightening like the ones shared here. The intensity of the feelings they evoke can colour our experience of ourselve in this world. Often the passage of time helps reduce the intensity of the feelings and I find I can be more objective about the dream story.

The hardest feelings to identify accurately are around taboos such as feelings and desires that are socially unacceptable in general. I find the dreams around taboos are often more frigtening for me as the feelings and thoughts around the taboo are not familiar to me. I need time to feel comfortable in a landscape that is unfamiliar to me and operates with different values to ones that are more common.

Dreams give me a chance to explore unfamiliar values and feelings in safety - after all - its only a dream - its not reality.

In the above report you mentioned Zombies chasing you and trying to kill you. This is the hunch that came to me as I read it and it may or may not be right as only the dreamer knows the true meaning.

I have a hunch you may not be too comfortable about sleeping with your boyfriend. Something about it is not sitting right with you and you can't really understand why. Maybe the zombies are these values you personally have, have learned in your family or have heard from others that you havn't really been conscious of before.

It felt to me like these values are unconscious - "Zombies" - and they are asking you to confront them and make a life choice for you that is OK for you.

In your report the dreams seem to be linked to sleeping with your boyfriend. Perhaps you are not OK with what you are doing and agreeing to do with your boyfriend when he is sleeping with you.

I am not you so all I can do is make and educated guess. The dreams are giveing you the opportunity to be gentle with yourself and take another look at how you are living your life. You can make choices about sleeping with your boyfriend - you can say this is not OK for me or you can say this is OK for me because I know I do not hold those values that are threatening the life I want to live now.

Its OK to have your own thoughts about your own life. Thats the really fun part of being a grown up.

Blessings from
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replied September 15th, 2012
Don't medicate, meditate.

Say this prayer every night: " Father, please watch over me and keep me safe. Only let the highest entities influence me."

Post your success for others!
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