Im not sure if this is the correct place for this. My now ex gf has had bad depression, anxiety, and personality swing issues at least in recent years. When we first met last year she kind of dropped everything we had going out of nowhere before begining a downward spiral that ended up with her in the psych ward, getting medicated, and eventually feeling happy and stable for the first time in a very long time. A few months ago she started talking to me again, and I knew I was probably an idiot for letting her in again after she hurt me the year before, but I dont gain feelings for many girls and I had a lot of them for her. So I took the risk and we started dating. Things moved pretty quickly. She always was very loving and trustworthy and promised if anything ever happened she would stay with me through it. We were planning to move in together and were pretty much the perfect couple. Far better then any other relationship I had ever been in.
We went on a trip to my mountain house for a week and towards the end she started to seem kind of down. Recently she had been changing medications because she had been feeling less happy. She went to her therapist appointment the next day and her therapist thought it would be a good idea for her to go into the psych ward again for treatment and to get more attention/medication. The couple of days before that she seemed distant. But she told me she didnt want anything to come between us she just has felt terrible all of a sudde.
I went to visit her every day, with her often wanting me to leave early before visiting hours were over (she did this with her mom too). She always explained the feeling she gets as feeling irritated at everyone and everything and wanting to be alone. However she swore a killion times if that feeling ever returned we would get though it together. I stayed calm during any angry mood swings and her seeming distant throughout the week she was in there and this past week. I was very supportive as I always have been (I treated her like a princess since day 1 and she knows it lol). But ever since she got out of the hospital she hasnt wanted to see me at all really and never said i love you or miss you or any of her normal things she hammered into me 30 times a day. I knew things must be changing and was tired of her pretending things were okay and not talking to me about what she was going through so I took off of work last night to talk to her. (I work 14 days in a row, 14 days off, 12 hour overnight shifts on a local boat). She said exactly what I expected, that she began waking up every day feeling like a different person. The happy person she was seemingly left and like a switch turning off she was back to how she was last year wanting to be alone (quite literally alone in her room all day) and irritated at everyone. She said she knows I didnt do anythimg but once that switch flipped and her depression anciety and irritability came back she just didnt feel loving towards me or anyone anymore. She doesnt feel like cuddling, kissing, having sex,or even talking, basicaly anything that helps normal people get through things. She just wants to be alone in her room away from the world. She was hoping her new medication would help but so far i hasnt. One day she did feel better and seemed back to her old self, and she brought that up and said her feelings had returned (she knows eventually she will feel normal again) but right now she is losing hope that it will be soon. She told me she wanted distance because she doesnt feel like seeing anyone or doing anything normally associated with a relationship.
She continues to talk to me, which is honestly really hard on me. I have been in love with this girl a long time and to have her go from feeling like i was her soulmate and wanting to spend the rest of her life with me, to not even wanting to be in a relationship with me, is quite difficult to deal with (i have depression and anxiety issues of my own). I know she will feel better eventually. And I wanted to help her through all this as I know she will only get worse shutting herself out from the world, but Ive pretty kuch run out of options and ideas. Right now she responds to any issue i bring up with "you dont understand" and generally just doesnt think about how she has effected me. I guess theres too much going on in her head for that.
Anyway has anyone ever dealt with something like this? Is there any way to convince her to try and get through what she is going through together, or is there atleast something I can do to try and help her besides just leaving her alone. I worry because she has been suicidal in the past. I would rather feel terrible with her, then to lose her and end up either losing her for good or with her trying to patch things up afterwards. I dont think I will be able to trust her enough for a round 3 if she doesnt show some signs of changing outlook on things now. I get she doesnt want to see anyone but I still feel having someone to support you is far better then having no one. I have done everything I can at this point to try and help her at the expense of my own happiness. And just have no ideas. On top of it all I really just dont want to lose someone that I have such deep feelings for.

Sorry for the long post. But has anyone ever been through or dealt with something like this? Im not even sure what to call it. But if you have is there any way to help her or is it a lost cause and alot of wasted energy and time with me walking away looking as dumb as I felt getting into it. She says when she goes back and forth between happy and sad, it is like she is a different person when she looks in the mirror. If the switch is up she is happy and loving. If the switch is down she is incredibly depressed and literally looks in the mirror and hates herself and how she looks (she is very attractive but does not see it, and when she is depressed is prone to crazy look changes ie. Cutting/dying her hair 6 times in a 2 week period).
Any help or insight would be appreciated
Did you find this post helpful?
|

User Profile
replied February 15th, 2019
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and I understand your concern.
You can help her by taking her to good healthcare facility. You should persuade her for drug compliance as well.
I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care
Khan
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Quick Reply
DISCLAIMER: "Ask a Doctor" questions are answered by certified physicians and other medical professionals. For more information about experts participating in the "Ask a Doctor" Network, please visit our medical experts page. You may also visit our Bipolar Relationships , for moderated patient to patient support and information.

The information provided on eHealth Forum is designed to improve, not replace, the relationship between a patient and his/her own physician. Personal consultation(s) with a qualified medical professional is the proper means for diagnosing any medical condition.