Medical Questions > Mental Health > Anxiety and Stress Forum

Anxiety, Stress, OCD? I'm confused, and scared

Hi all :\
I am 13 years old, and have OCD. Last summer I suffered from violent thoughts of hurting family members, and I was so depressed for 3 months, until school started again.
This summer, I recieved the same problem. This problem shortly went away: and started focusing on gorier things, such as CSI, things I heard on the news, torture, etc.
This also went away after I mastered a desensitization technique.

Lately, I have been afraid I'm like James Holmes, a bad person, and will end up killing my mother (I think it's targeted towards her since it's that mother daughter type thing). I say this, because I have little to no emotion anymore. I am not on any medications, and I never have been. I recently stopped having emotions, about a week or two ago. The only emotion I have is a slightly bad one. I used to feel SO HORRIBLE, but now I feel little to nothing. I am afraid I want to kill people, as a result, that I don't feel bad when these thoughts come up.

I am currently going to a therapist, but since they're closed on the weekend, this is my only option. I used to cringe every time a thought like this came up, but now I have a giddy but VERY VERY minorly bad feeling, like a momentarily pit in my stomach that goes away in less than a second, which sometimes I don't even feel. I love my family, sure, my mom can annoy me sometimes but it's not like I hate her. I'm confused, and scared (I am scared, but I don't feel it.)

Am I evil, do I want to kill people, am I a bad person?
Please Sad <----- Can't feel that frowny face.
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replied August 8th, 2012
Advanced Support Team
I would encourage you to please continue seeing and talking to your therapist. Please consider calling 911 if you feel that you are going to hurt yourself or another person. I hope other users on this board are able to give you some encouragement and/or advice. Wishing you the best!
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replied August 16th, 2012
no, this is not normal. You are right about that but until you act on one of these thoughts you are definitely not crazy. I suggest telling your therapist ASAP that you need to get some tests ran &whatever else you may need to find the imbalance in your brain &work on correcting it. May not even require meds, simple exercises can be helpful. I personally cannot relate to wanting to hurt myself or others but if you recognize something about it ASAP. Therapist isn't available, I agree- call 911 or go to local ER.

Think happy thoughts & get help. Life is short....All the best
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