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I worry that I might be anorexic. My relationship with food is extremely difficult. I starve myself too feel "clean" and when I do eat I try to eat as little as possible. Sometimes when I haven't eaten for a long time (usually around 24 hours) I binge. I don't make myself throw up, but I feel this overwhelming sense of guilt and disgust over myself. I keep thinking all food is unhealthy and bad for you. I often break down crying. The people I live with worry about my weight, but them monitoring what I eat and commenting on how skinny I am only make me eat less. As a child and adolescent I was underweight. Now my BMI is at 18,8. Looking at pictures of myself I would consider myself overweight. I hate looking at my body in the mirror because all I can see is fat. I don't know what's wrong with me. Do I have an eating disorder? How can I start to get better? All I want is to enjoy food for once, just stop this feeling of hatred and guilt. I have been diagnosed with BPD (Borderline personality disorder) i don't know if that could be the issue. If it is of any help I'm a 21 year old female. Please help!
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replied January 31st, 2013
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Hi HannaR21....My best advice to to get some help...Either join a group or talk with your physician about which way to go...I think you are more than borderline on the verge of an eating disorder...With a group or by getting some help, you will learn what to eat and learn to enjoy food...

Honey, you can do it...I did this long ago and it will work...Take care...

Caroline
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