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Angry, bipolar fiance who refuses to seek treatment. Help!

My fiance and I (been together 8 yrs) were joking around Saturday and then we went to get in his truck to leave and he changed. He said, "I'm in a mood now" when I was trying to tickle him. After months of mood swings, constant changes and talks about him seeking counseling I finally said, "I can't handle these ups and downs". He got very upset and told me I'm selfish because HIS mood has nothing to do with me and he's the one dealing with it. He dropped me off at home and went to the bar until 2 am that night.

I have always been there for him when no one else was. His family moved across the country and I've been strong for him for the past four years. When he's down I'm gentle and caring but I was started to feel resentful like it was ALWAYS about what emotion he felt at that second. So last night he told me he can't talk to me because I don't listen and I don't understand ANYTHING and on and on.

I left the room with tears in my eyes and I'm still crying now. I just couldn't even catch my breath I was crying so hard. The foundation of our relationship has been helping each other in our hard times and he dismissed me like a stranger. I felt like nobody to him. Like I've never been there. My heart is so broken because I want him to be okay for once. And happy. He hasn't been in a long time..

I don't know what to do about this.... Please help.
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replied October 12th, 2013
I have been right there with fiance does this to me to...she has been abandoned by everyone close to her because she cant control that cold hard mean attitude on her down swings...but i am her punching bag and she does those same things to me...minus the truck and bar lol

But leaves me crying and feeling like the years of dealing with complete emotional trauma out of love means nothing because we momentarily lost our patience...when they get away with emotional murder...its so.hard a bipolar person...i know the moods will pass so i keep hope when shes gutting me....but i know it will probably never hurt less and will always break my heart...i cant take that pain from you but i will tell you that you are the best woman he could hope would love him and you are not alone or crazy for feeling the way you do...
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replied February 16th, 2016
I just don't understand women as you who just like to stay in this kind of relationship forever with this kind of "wonderful" men as you see them......... It seem something is really wrong with YOU, much than with him as bipolar if you want to accept a life like a Hell with someone like this. You have to UNDERSTAND that this person is MENTAL SICK and no matter what you do or try to help, you will CAN'T HELP ! You can't control the brain of a mental sick person . Even he will take medication, do not think that he may become a normal man ever ! Medication has also side effects, and in many cases, they abandon the medicaiton due to this thing and then he come back to again to his Hell...... and will make your life a totall Hell forever . There are plenty of options and available healthy men in this world, why do you need to stay in such a cruel life and relationship and more ? do you want to marry this man who treat you as a dog ?.... WHY ? Do you think about this ? Do you want your childrens to be ill too ? Do you want you become ill too ? Do you know the risks of living in a relationship like this, called abusive relationship and sad always ? This will only bring a mental illness to you too, as depression or even you have the risk to become bipolar too in time !
You have to consider the other facts of life, not only LOVE ! Love is not enough in e every aspect of life ! You risk to arrive to never can love anymore any other man , or your family , just because this man will destroy in time your feelings of love ! Believe me, I was in a relationship of 3 years with a Bipolar who devastated my whole life and existance . I give you my friendly advice , don't make the mistake to marry this kind of man, because that will never be a happy marriage, it will be a total Hell ! Love yourself more before to love other !
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