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Ok don't immediately judge me just from the topic listen to my reasons and then i would like your opinions and your advice. Thank you in advance.
Ok so basically i have been with my partner for 4 years this summer, we have been planning our life together for as long as i can remember, we crumble without eachother i really do believe he is the one. We got pregnant by accident when i was 15 and couldnt bring ourselves to abort a life we had made so planned to keep the baby, i then had a miscarraige. We have now decided that we would like to try for a baby, now that we are a bit older and could support the baby. We are currently looking for a two bedroom flat so we have a room for the baby. I have been on the depo injection for 9 months and am planning to not go back for my update in may, the injection takes anything from 2-18 months to get out of my system so we have decided to just let nature take its course when i stop the injection. We have a very stable relationship and i am planning to take a gap year to have the baby and go back to university the year after, making use of the universities childcare services.
Please post any comments or advice on here, I would really appreciate hearing what everyone else thinks. Thanks x
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replied March 15th, 2010
im not goin to judge you, i understand where you are coming from. i got preg when i was 16 with twins and about 5 months into the preg i lost one of them. if i would of lost both of my babies it would of killd me i dont know what i would of done. but you are smart for waithing til u are oldr to try and get pregnant again. because i would of waiting til my body had healed and tryed automatically. the only thing that i would say do is wait til you finish all of your school. i graduatd
high school a year early and i waitd a year to go back to college and it is really hard my son needs more things now and it is hard when im tryin to pay for my schooling and diapers and his food and everything else he needs. cuz me and his his dad thought we were in love and we were ready for this but the only one that was ready was me he cant decide if he wants to be a dad and i have always been ready for a child cuz when i was 14 they told me i would never be able to have a baby and it broke my heart cuz i always seen my future with childrn and they tried to take that from me, so abortion never crossed my mind. just if u was you i would go to collge and bcome something then try. because it aint a walk in the park i still live with my mom til i can get on my own 2 feet cuz u nevr no what the dad will b thinkin whn they dont get any sleep at nights it taks awhile for the guys but its harder for thm
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replied March 21st, 2010
thanks for that, congratulations on your son thats amazing that you fell pregnant when they told you that you couldnt i can imagine how you must have felt. i've decided that i want to be a midwife now so im going to finish my A levels that im doing at the moment and maybe the joy of delivering other peoples babies might fill a part of the gap and if not then at least i know a lot more about pregnancy and i can make sure i have everything in order so i can give my child the best i can. Thanks for your advice.
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replied April 2nd, 2010
I''m in the same situation you are, minus having been pregnant before. I''m 17 almost 18 and me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years this month, and he''s been putting out the idea of having a baby lately. We''ve been talking everything over and I''ve had the same thoughts as you - finishing high school this June and then taking a year off to work/get ready/take care of the new born then go back for college the next fall. So i am not going to judge you at all, and in all honestly if you think you can do it, if you can manage it financially, the father will be there for you through it all, and you''ve got family/friends to support you then go for it. How young you are shouldn''t decipher whether you''re ready to have a family or not. (:
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replied April 9th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
No judgement, just some things to think about Smile

Financially do you feel ready? I know you can reduce certain costs (i.e. breastfeeding so not paying out for formula, buying the basics) but it is still an expensive thing to do. Nappies, food, clothing, toys, essentials (i.e. cot, buggy) do all add up. Are you buying the flat you're looking at or renting? If renting then you will need to be explicit to any landlord that you plan on having a baby, at some point, in the flat as (here) people are able to add a clause into rental agreements stating no children on the property.

I also wouldn't underestimate how difficult studying and having a child is. Although I personally didn't have children until after I'd finished my degree/established my career there were mums on my course and they had no time at all to themselves, even with the support of their partners. Again, depending on where you are, I would imagine you still need to pay for the childcare services within the university (certainly here you do, no such thing as free childcare lol) and it is likely to be expensive. Your partner would need to take the majority of the financial burden during the time you're studying (student loans do not go far) so he needs to make sure that he is prepared for that and able to do so.

I know finances aren't exactly the most exciting thing when thinking about having children but they shouldn't be ignored if you are considering trying to get pregnant.
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replied April 9th, 2010
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Abi92 wrote:
thanks for that, congratulations on your son thats amazing that you fell pregnant when they told you that you couldnt i can imagine how you must have felt. i've decided that i want to be a midwife now so im going to finish my A levels that im doing at the moment and maybe the joy of delivering other peoples babies might fill a part of the gap and if not then at least i know a lot more about pregnancy and i can make sure i have everything in order so i can give my child the best i can. Thanks for your advice.

Didn't see this until after my post! I think it's great you have decided to concentrate on getting your A levels and degree first Smile Very mature decision
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