I feel like I am depressed. I used to be an outgoing person, confident and didn't let people put me down. I used to have great friends and lots of them. Last summer was absolutely amazing, I finished high school, had my prom and I started getting with a guy I really liked. It was generally the best summer of my life.
In the September I joined a sixth form college which I really enjoyed but soon realized that my other peers there, weren't very nice. I am in a relationship with the guy I was getting with last summer and we have a great relationship, he is a really amazing person but recently the relationship became strained as I am so stressed out with taking my A levels.
However I feel that it is more than just the stress of my A levels as I feel sad and lonely every day. I am not as close with old friends as they go to different colleges and I never have the time to see them due to all the college work, the people who I do spend my time with are mainly the people at college as I see them every day, but they are inconsiderate to others, they don't care about others and often make me feel really bad about myself. I can not talk to them about my feelings as I have tried this and they don't show interest or say I'm being pathetic. Things that didn't used to phase me have really began to hurt my feelings and I feel like I am a weakened person in comparison who I used to be.
I often feel hopeless and extremely lonely, I spend a lot of my time in college alone as i don't like the people. I cry a lot for no reason. I feel tired with no motivation ALL the time and I have lost interest in sex. Nothing excites me anymore and I feel that I have no real friends that care about the way I feel.
Minor decisions that usually wouldn't phase me at all make me feel lost and overwhelmed. For example, I came home yesterday to find that my Mum had bought me a coat (very nice of her) and she asked me whether I liked it or not and whether I wanted to take it back. It completely overwhelmed me, I didn't even want to talk about it because I didn't want to upset my Mum and say i didn't like it as I would feel guilty. It made me feel really sad and hopeless which I think is absolutely ridiculous as it is just a coat and my Mum wouldn't have been upset anyway.
My relationship with my boyfriend is strained as I'm so unhappy all the time which makes him feel bad. When I try and talk to him about it he says it's my fault that I'm depressed as I think negatively. This makes me feel worse.
I often think back to how happy I was last summer, how 'on top of the world' I felt and wish I could relive it. It makes me unhappy thinking about such happy memories as i feel that I will never feel that again.
I feel like I have no one to talk to about the way I feel. I feel sad, lonely, hopeless, stressed, and lost. I am 16, and female, living in England. Would you say that I am depressed and should go and see my doctor?
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replied May 12th, 2011
hey i really think that u are just growing up really. well because thats how it is for everyone. Since u are in college now everyone is really buzy and if u want to maintain ur a level, well it even more stressing. U shoud try to do tutoring to help others. Dont think about the past too much because that will only help u feel sad. Instead think about what u need to work on making urself happy again go out for breakfast with ur boyfriend and dont talk to him about problems too much cuz guys are weird when they are in a realtionship he is not ur friend he is your boyfriend. u gots to remember that. Talk to ur boyfriend about starting a project together. And if he is into a sport, it is important for a guy when u are there for him.
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replied May 14th, 2011
hey i've been through the same kind of thing these past 2 years (also whilst studying for A levels). it does sound to me like you could have depression, i'm not sure if you've looked up the symptoms but you have ticked all the boxes for depression. i did too and i put off going to the doctors for a longlong time because i thought i was making it up in my head and when i did try to talk to my friend she also said that i was just being ridiculous. i had exams coming up and i did go to the doctors in the end to find out i had low iron levels and got prescribed iron tablets which made everything a whole lot better, i was motivated again, i barely cried any more and basically removed any symptoms of depression. so i would say go to your doctor and tell him/her about the way you've been feeling. it could just been something like low iron, or if it's depression, you should really be getting help.
i kind of agree with your bf about thinking negatively. i was thinking negatively the whole time i was in that depressed phase. you have to remember that your thoughts control your emotions, not the other way around. i know it's difficult to remember that and believe it when you're in that kind of state, but maybe write it down so you make yourself believe it?
as for not seeing your old friends any more, you have to find time to see them. it's easy to find no time when you're unmotivated and in that depressed mood, but i think once you're out there with your friends, you'll realise what you've been missing and how you /do/ have time to see them. arrange to do something and STICK to it, don't let yourself cancel. you'll feel so great once you're out with your friends, i promise.
pm me if you want to talk me/if i've been of any help because i've been through what you're going through and i really feel like i understand you (:
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