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Am I Depressed? honestly think i am not really worth much

I just tried posting and I don't think it worked. I said to myself, you finally post about how you feel and it doesnt even take. In my head I think, ugh I really am a loser. I have struggled with my feelings of self worth for as long as i can remember. I have no memory of a time when I liked myself. I mean i do have days where i feel ok, but most days are filled with negative thoughts about myself. I am not pretty, I am fat. I am not a good homemaker, I am not a good wife, not a good mother. I just honestly think most days, i am not really worth much. and the worry about all of those thoughts - causes me to worry more. Does that make sense? I worry so much that i worry about my worry? I worry that these are not normal feelings, but then when my husband suggest i go see someone, I worry that these are normal thoughts and any doctor i go see is going to think i am stupid. I worry that my children are going to end up like me. I tell my family i am anxious alot,but then i worry that when i am feeling 'anxious' it's not really anxiety, it's just my head. The worry and the hate are killing my marriage. My husband just can't win with me. I want him to tell me every day how wonderful he thinks i am,but when he does i dont believe him. MY thoughts and attitudes cause us to fight. He thinks i can just stop feeling this way. I can't. He tells me to see someone since i seem to not be able to help myself, but who do you see. Am i really depressed? Am i just a normal 31 year old woman with some self esteem issues? Should i be able to break these mental thoughts? UGH. I feel lost, i feel confused. I feel worried. I feel anxious. I feel CRAZY! I am even worried that people won't respond to this post, and then i will really know how much of a loser i Am.
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replied September 9th, 2014
TO be absolutely honest it sounds like you are depressed. Depression has many different symptoms, I should know because it took me 10 years to figure it all out. You are absolutely right about ONE thing, it is in your head. That's where the core of depression is rooted. I wrote a post titled how to look at depression in it's simplest form because I wanted to take something that was already overwhelming, and dumb it down for us all. Not that any of us or you are dumb for that matter, it's just that depression is already over whelming enough as it is, why should it be hard to understand to? It doesn't. You have to look at it from a semi-scientific angle and simplify it before you can even start to fight back or battle it in order to put it in it's place. First off, if you are married, you are not ugly, because you obviously have someone that adores you to the fullest. You do need to see someone, but that someone is the real you. I will be honest and say that pills and doctors will only deal with the symptoms and not the under-lying issue. It's not your fault you are depressed, it's a chemical imbalance in the brain. That's all, it's the emotional half that causes all the confusion and negativity. You CAN break those mental thoughts but it takes time and practice to understand how to. The first thing you need to figure out is when depression is showing up, it comes and goes, and without the proper mental tactics to combat it, it could get seriously worse than you can possibly imagine and even lead to death. I am thinking of building a site dedicated to those of us that suffer from this, but I promise you from the bottom of my heart there is a way out, but it's a battle you have to learn how to win that's all Smile Sincerely UpnUp. feel free to message me anytime, I know all about the craziness it can cause and maybe I can make things a bit easier for you to understand in regards to yourself and how your brain is tricking you Wink Hang in there, and try my way before you get lost in doctors and pills. I won't let you down Smile
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replied September 9th, 2014
1.Talk to your trusted friends and family members.
2.Do not be so hard on yourself.Think outside yourself.
3.Whenever you feel a negative thought, note down the thought and what triggered it.Analyze your log when you’re find yourself in a good mood.
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