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I guess I just need to vent.. Kaylee has been downright awful the last 2 days. She hits & scratches, throws things, doesn’t listen to me whatsoever. I’m going crazy! When she hits I slap her hand but then I got to thinking... She’s hitting me & I’m trying to get her to stop, what good is it doing for me to slap her hand?! So I don’t know what to do to get her to stop. The word ’no’ means nothing to her. I don’t believe in spanking so that’s out of the question when she’s pulling all of this. It’s like since Saturday when she turned 18 months the little demon baby is coming out of her. I try being patient with her but my patience is wearing thin. & then eating is a whole other fight.. All she wants is junk which no one really helps with.. Shane’s always giving her chips & cookies & has even snuck chocolate milk to her a few times. I hate that. I try my hardest to get her to eat & drink as healthy as possible. She doesn’t get juice unless it’s diluted half & half with water (One of my biggest peeves w/ parents is when they give their little ones kool aid & juice without it watered down or worse - SODA - No offense anyone). I try getting her to drink a cup of milk with every meal. Now she won’t eat meat. I’ve tried chicken nuggets & everything & she won’t have anything to do with them. I’m starting to feel like a failure! Any suggestions?

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replied April 8th, 2008
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Oh man!!

I've never had a problem with Oni eating, BUUUUT, maybe you could be very dramatical when you offer her meat!
Like make a big deal about it.

Show her how YOU eat it and then, (in a very dramatic way), say "mmmmhhhmmm!! That was some good chicken/meat(w/e)!!! Would Kaylee like to try some with Mommy?!? It's soooo good!!"

If she refuses...just do it again, and then leave her. almost 90%, out of curiosity, she'll taste it.

have you offered her a lil ketchup to dunk it in?! Start off with a tiny bit, and show her.

Maybe, you could use chocolate milk as a treat for her. I give Oni strawberry milk on days where she's been very good.

With the tantrums, I can't really offer much help. I'm one to vocally dicipline twice, then smack the hand.

It sounds corny, but you REALLY have to kneel down(eye to eye) and tell her "it HURTS mommy when you smack/scratch/bite me. I do NOT like it!!! it makes me SAD!
Nice touches ONLY Kaylee!!(then rub her hand softly to show her 'nice touches.')

I really hope this help a lil Michelle.
Oni started her terribe 2's at like 16 months...and it's hard to reason with such a young child...but repetitiveness is a MUST!

Sarah
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replied April 8th, 2008
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I think Sarah gave some pretty good advice. My little one is only 9 months, so obviously I can't really give you any input (although she has recently started throwing tantrums!).

Tell Shane that you're going out for a girls' night and take a break!
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replied April 8th, 2008
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put her to bed when she acts out or when she wont eat that is what ive done and it usually helps im sorry your going thru this hopefully she will be better soon for you ans when others dont help gets really frustrating i had that prob with derekes sister givin the kids sugar when i couldnt get them to eat ot\r shed give them a really big snack right before a meal argh
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replied April 8th, 2008
Experienced User
Sarah's right on about how to handle Kaylee hitting/scratching. Simple phrases like "We do not hit" and demonstrating a soft touch seem to work, like she said. Being consistent is a good method.

As for food, I would keep reintroducing her to things you'd like her to eat but she won't. If you keep getting her to try it, she'll probably develop a taste for it over time. If you're concerned about her getting enough protein from meat, give her foods that have high protein in them, like eggs. Good luck!
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replied April 8th, 2008
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I think that's a normal stage (tho that doesn't make it any easier!)
I think the other girls gave good advice, but I just wanted to wish you luck with this....it's not an easy road, that's for sure.
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replied April 8th, 2008
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I can definitely relate. Alyvia's hitting her terrible 2's a little bit early. She lays down on the floor and cries when she doesn't get her way, slaps and hits sometimes, and throws tantrums. When she does those things, I put her down, tell her "no" firmly, and walk away. I want her to understand that Mommy will not hold her if she hits me and she will not be rewarded with attention (good or bad) when she throws tantrums.

As far as eating, I wish I had a solution. Alyvia's a terrible eater as well, and it's always a chore getting her to eat. Maybe since Kaylee will only eat junk food, the solution is to stop buying junk food period. I'm sure Shane won't like that, but if it's not in the house, he can't feed it to her. If you offer her healthy foods and there are no junk foods to tempt her with, she'll eventually break down and eat.
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replied April 8th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Ava hit those terrible twos about 2 months ago.
I say things like, "No hit, be soft like a cat with momma", then she'll understand and rub my face.
When she throws things, I tell her, "NO, NO, NO throwing Ava. That makes momma MAD, MAD, MAD. You tell momma, 'all done!'".
I got a lot of good tips and advice from The Happiest Toddler on the Block.
You girls may get sick of me preaching about Dr. Harvey Karp's two books that I've read, but I just love them and they've helped me tremendously.

Another tactic is 30-60 second time out in a play pen where you don't pay any attention to her whatsoever, then after it's over, you go back and talk about what happened.
Show her you don't approve, put her in the play pen, then talk nice about it with her after 30-60 seconds.

Also, find lots of times when you can compliment her to Shane. She'll hear it and feel good about herself. It'll help you out with little struggles you may have with her throughout the day.
Tell him, "Daddy, Kaylee was sooo good today. She stacked her blocks and did a great job." or whatever.

As far as eating, I've ALWAYS had trouble with Ava eating. You just take it one meal at a time and remember that she'll eat when she's hungry and not when she's full. She could need less food right now b/c at her age, their growth slows down a little. Ava never was a meat eater, don't worry.
Keep those snacks out of sight until appropriate times to avoid her asking or throwing a tantrum for it. You and Shane NEED to be on the same page about her health and eating.
I'm with you on the sofa, kool-aid thing. I just don't understand some people's thinking. My mom told her friend the other day that Ava's NEVER had soft drinks and they just couldn't believe it and wanted to know why.
I hope I helped.
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replied April 8th, 2008
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Thanks for the replies! You all gave me some good advice & I appreciate it. Sarah, I read your reply earlier this afternoon & when Kaylee got up from her nap we went on with our usual day.. She still kept hitting & I tried what you said, I told her it hurts Mommy when she hits & that I would cry & not play with her if she kept doing that. She blew me a kiss & laid her head on my shoulder, it was the cutest thing ever. She still hit me & Shane a few times through the day though but I'm going to stick with that & see if she stops. I have a huge scratch across my chest from her & today before I put my contacts she hit my glasses so hard I have a cut on the side of my nose from the nose piece. Is there such thing as MOMMY abuse?!

As for her eating, it didn't go so badly today. Shane & I got into it this morning because as soon as he got up he went straight for the cookies, which of course made Kaylee want some. She had just got done eating french toast for breakfast so she wasn't hungry.. Just wanted junk food. I told him it has to stop, in order for Kaylee to develop good eating habits he needs to work on how he eats. She doesn't see me eating badly, only occasionally when I'll have some chips or popcorn. With him it's ALL the time.
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replied April 8th, 2008
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Woops I posted before I saw your reply. I seriously think I'm going to get that book! I've read a lot of good things that you've said about it. I've thought about putting her in time out too to see if that would help, I might have to try it. Thanks a lot, you did help!
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replied April 9th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
Other people are always feeding Rowan crap, and I know exactly how frustrating that is!

For the meat thing, maybe the best thing to do while she is refusing to eat it is to offer other things high in protein. If your doctor gives you the okay maybe you can start giving her peanut butter to try to get some protein into her?

Here are some other protein rich foods you can try for while she's refusing meat (Rowan doesn't eat any meat).

Nuts

Soy foods, such as tofu, tempeh, miso, and soy milk

Sprouted seeds -- each type of sprout has differing proportions of nutrients, so it's best to eat a variety of them

Grains, especially amaranth and quinoa, are highest in protein and are high-quality proteins

Beans and legumes, especially when eaten raw

Spirulina and chorella (blue-green algae), which are over 60 percent protein
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replied April 9th, 2008
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CaNdItAs CrAzY LaNd wrote:
put her to bed when she acts out or when she wont eat that is what ive done and it usually helps im sorry your going thru this hopefully she will be better soon for you ans when others dont help gets really frustrating i had that prob with derekes sister givin the kids sugar when i couldnt get them to eat ot\r shed give them a really big snack right before a meal argh
I don't think putting them to bed is a good idea because when it's time for them to go to bed for real, they wont want to go because thats where they go when they get into trouble. My sister did it to Dalton and thats exactly what happened (not saying it happened to you). She made a designated area for him to sit in when he is bad and he knows.

Michelle, at first Dalton thought it was funny to be sitting in the corner and he would get up and run around thinking it was a game, but after a few times of doing it he got the idea and HATED it and now he does act a little better. So if you do try the time out don't get discouraged if it doesn't take at first Smile
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replied April 9th, 2008
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Thanks Tanya & Melissa! Kaylee eats peanut butter so she is getting some protein from that. We'll have toast with peanut butter on it or PB & J sandwiches sometimes for lunch, she gobbles it right down. Thanks a lot for the other high protein food ideas, I wrote them down on the grocery list to try & pick some of the stuff up this week.

I think for time outs I'm going to set her play pen back up & use that for out little time out area. She hates being in it so I think it might just work Very Happy
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replied April 9th, 2008
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Dude, I have the happiest baby on the block and I reallllly love him.

I think I'm going to get the Toddler one as well. I can ALWAYS use helpful tips when it comes to Oni...and Nya before I know it!

That guy really knows a lot about babies/toddlers!!

Also, it's verrrrrry important to initiate words with emoitions into their vocabulary.

A few things you can do are show her : HAPPP-EEE!! by raising your eyebrows and getting a BIIIG smile!!
And right after say "MAD" And purse your eyebrows and say it in a mean tone.

Go back and for with HAPPY!!! then MAAD. Sad

Oni LOVED that, and IMMEDIETLY started getting better with expressing to me how she felt.

Now, she knows scared & sad.

it realllly helps!!

Sarah
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replied April 9th, 2008
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Re: A little vent
OctoberBaby06 wrote:
I guess I just need to vent.. Kaylee has been downright awful the last 2 days. She hits & scratches, throws things, doesn’t listen to me whatsoever. I’m going crazy! When she hits I slap her hand but then I got to thinking... She’s hitting me & I’m trying to get her to stop, what good is it doing for me to slap her hand?! So I don’t know what to do to get her to stop. The word ’no’ means nothing to her. I don’t believe in spanking so that’s out of the question when she’s pulling all of this. It’s like since Saturday when she turned 18 months the little demon baby is coming out of her. I try being patient with her but my patience is wearing thin. & then eating is a whole other fight.. All she wants is junk which no one really helps with.. Shane’s always giving her chips & cookies & has even snuck chocolate milk to her a few times. I hate that. I try my hardest to get her to eat & drink as healthy as possible. She doesn’t get juice unless it’s diluted half & half with water (One of my biggest peeves w/ parents is when they give their little ones kool aid & juice without it watered down or worse - SODA - No offense anyone). I try getting her to drink a cup of milk with every meal. Now she won’t eat meat. I’ve tried chicken nuggets & everything & she won’t have anything to do with them. I’m starting to feel like a failure! Any suggestions?

Sad


As you maybe noticing, the Terrible Twos actually start BEFORE the child actually turns two. She is discovering her own boundaries. This is normal and healthy for all children, although it is a big giant pain in the rear for the mom!

Food is a big issue with a lot of children and one thing mothers fret about most often. The first advice I have on this is STOP BEING A SHORT ORDER COOK! If she doesn't like what you are eating at the table, then she doesn't eat. That will last all of, oh, one meal.

Think about it. Children will not starve themselves - they aren't stupid. They are very genius. If they throw a temper tantrum or refuse to eat icky veggies, mom jumps up and makes them a peanut butter sandwich and coaxes them to eat it. Kids are never dumb, they train their parents very well. Wink Always offer nutritious foods and if she doesn't eat it, do not offer to make something else. Of course, don't give her liver and onions or anything truly icky like that. But if you are all having chicken and corn, she should be eating chicken and corn.

As far as hitting and scratching, redirect her, tell her hitting is not allowed, let her know hitting hurts and if it continues, then put her somewhere for time out.
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replied April 9th, 2008
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I am guilty of being a short order cook Sad We just went through that last night actually. I made chicken tacos for dinner & she didn't want any of it. I knew she wouldn't go to bed unless she ate something (& I would have felt so guilty about putting her to bed hungry) so I made her a chicken patty that she inhaled. I need to stop doing that, because like you said, she has me trained! Starting tonight she's going to eat what we're eating. We're having spaghetti & meatballs & she's gonna eat spaghetti & meatballs!
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replied April 9th, 2008
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She is going to fight it at first, because every other time she has gotten you to give in. Stay strong. Once she realizes that you aren't going to jump up and down and create something just for her, she'll get with the program.

((Good luck))

ETA: I wanted to tell you that we are all of us guilty of doing something like being a short order cook. As parents we want to do what we think will please our children and help them out the most. It might be letting them stay up later or allowing them to watch too much tv or play too many video games - whatever it is, we do it out of love for them and wishing them to be happy. So please don't think you are at all 'wrong' or unusual for doing what you are doing. My neice is 10 and her mom still short order cooks for her and it is a huge pain for my sister, but the daughter is eating really well!
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replied April 9th, 2008
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I did good Very Happy

We had spaghetti & meatballs tonight for dinner like I had planned. Like I figured would happen, Kaylee threw a fit & didn't want to eat it. I started eating my food & pretended I was ignoring her & she finally started to eat. She ate a whole bowl of spaghetti plus a couple meatballs so I'm happy!
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replied April 9th, 2008
Supporter
i had to use that method it was the only thing that helped calm my son down.
btw he loves going to bed lol
nothing else worked on him he isnt like kids his age
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