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A list of suggestions for loneliness

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hello every one
im lonely and a lot of people here are lonely i need every ones help. lets end up this loneliness lets help each other with our own point of view our own experianc to solve this problem it needs all of us to do it all of us to participate.
me as an honest person i love the fact that i am honest but i discover that people always say we to be with an honest person but once you become honest with them they will hate you and think you either have bad intention or you are a bad person mean rude well so
we need to list some habits that we hate and others that we like to know what makes other people like us or run away from us .i need your help
starting with me
i hate:
1)aggressive people people who fights about minor things once you joke with them they take it personally and attack you i would keep away from them.
2) people whom disrespectful like when they talk with you they call you names or talk to you with disrespect as if its ok since were friends . but it bothers
3) people whom always lie they think you can't catch their lie but were not stupid
4) people whom argue all the time and if you do not agree on what they are saying you would be their enemy.
i love:
1) friendly , caring people . people whom give you a chance to try to understand you instead of attacking you
2) people whom are respectful . people whom control their anger
3) positive people whom always grateful even when they are in their worse
4) people whom always ask about me and contact me because they care even if i didn't contact them .

im done i need your help and your point of view pleas lest things that you like and dislike in people let us help eachother and let us find some solution to end up this loneliness
im lonely all the time but i remember a girl that i know its been ages since we talked i called her and we chat for a wile and now im going to do something interesting im going to the pool or the jym or the movies by my self i deserve to have some fun so this is my thing to do when im lonely
now its your turn to tell us pleas participate i need every ones help
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replied September 25th, 2009
There are alot of people here so you should not be lonely on this site. You are probably going to get lots of posts. Yes I agree about all of things you like about people. yes I agree too. With dislikes I do not even worry about that since it is you that counts. You are one to focus on - not others so not even worrying about dislikes. When someone upsets you just let it go and that is how you can be less upset by others. Do not even allow people to upset you since it is not worth being too upset. I hope that helps you a little. Hearth.
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replied September 25th, 2009
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thank you so much for being the first who replay you made me happy

your absolutely right
i think that the fact that some people are sensitive,or they find it difficult to tolerate others mistakes or forgive them makes them lonely because at the end we are all human and we do tunes of mistakes.

i love the fact that you understand something very important which is don't allow people to upset you. its not people who upset you its you who choose to be upset by some people.
and it is not worthy yes your right again because things are small when you see them small but when you over size them you will see nothing but them you will be blind by the problem and you will miss all the fun around you. life is to short to waist it on misery
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replied September 25th, 2009
yes I agree. take care mariah79. Love yourself enough to not let others upset you that way.
Have a nice night. Hearth.
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replied September 27th, 2009
I'm a really honest person too Mariah. I'm seeking "truth" in this lifetime of mine, in every possible way. I agree with you too, that sometimes, people can take advantage of an "honest person".
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replied September 27th, 2009
I can be in a group of 100 friends an still fell lonely. I have all your basic traits,but it sounds like you are directing these to one person,or a bad expearance.You have all the qualities of the good person you are.Step back an look at who you're with
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replied September 28th, 2009
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".........but once you become honest with them they will hate you and think you either have bad intention or you are a bad person mean rude well so"

I couldn't have agreed with you more on this point. Even I value honesty and integrity as the best qualities but whenever I tend to be honest with people they misunderstand me. When I tell them the plain truth they ignore me as if I am an evil person. I am not claiming I am always right and others are wrong but I believe there is nothing greater than truth.

Thanks for the great topic!
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replied September 28th, 2009
THE SAME TO ME! TOO HONEST... my relationships do not dwell! people finds me to be rude! atleast i knoe that i aint rude so it doesnt pain me much.
and its hard to turn myself selfish so i ve decided to be honest for good.

real am lonely as i ve dated once and my honest altitude is what sent my b/f off.

anyway if the price of having a b/f is hypocricy then let me be lonely for goood.

don be afraid of being lonely as that is a result of your goodness.

you will get over it as u deserve it as you are good... all haters will soon realise that we are good.... chillux darl u deserve te all love and u don have to think of those who hates u 4 trying to be freal to them. lonely? yes but be real antway
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Users who thank kilsigh for this post: concernedn 

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replied September 28th, 2009
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People dislike honesty sometimes because the truth can hurt. Honesty at all costs is not a positive thing. It can be very destructive and hurtful. It has to be tempered with kindness, understanding, and empathy. Tempering your honesty is not the same as lying.

For example, if you tell your friend, "your boyfriend is a jerk," that's not helpful. If you ask your friend if she's happy in her relationship and say that you are only asking because you care about her happiness and are worried about her, that's just as honest (maybe even more honest), but it's less brute and less hurtful. After all, she knows her boyfriend better than you do. If he's a jerk to her, she knows that. You don't have to throw it in her face and make her acknowledge it. Wouldn't she be better off if she knew that you were her ally, not her enemy?

Also, if someone asks you a question, you have to ask yourself if the person is asking for reassurance or honesty. (Insert classic example: "does this dress make me look fat.")

If you are finding yourself lonely because you drive people away with your honesty, that's not good for anyone. You may think that brute honesty is a virtue, but is it really? Or do you just like to say exactly what you are thinking and wish you didn't have to worry about hurting people's feelings? You can't have it both ways. You have to have respect for the truth and respect for other people's feelings, just like you want other people to respect you.
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replied September 28th, 2009
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the first impression that i give is an arrogant girl that shows off with her look and miss perfect. thats what people think in school. where i live they think i either work in fashion or study fashion which is not true.
the truth is i lack self confidant thats why i never go out without make up and i always dress up.
they think im arrogant maybe cause i do not participate in conversation . i cant make eye contact i walk as if i see no one . and when people smile i smile with my face down or turn my face immediately. the truth is am so so shy i can't make eye contact because im shy i worry that people think im staring at them or think i like them or get the wrong massage. im scared and shy of eye contact. it is very stressful to make eye contact with my own father. i don't participate in conversation not because i think am better than them but because my english suck and a lot of people do not understand what the hell im talking about or what's my point.
but even though i need to develop my self i need to learn more english and how to gain self confidant moreover ah this shyness and eye contact is so hard
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replied September 28th, 2009
Experienced User
Make an eye contact with everyone and don't be shy to do so. If you have an honest intention in your heart then nothing else matters. If you are a great person from inside then that's the most important thing. If you are honest and yet people get heart then that's their problem not yours. You are who you are, doesn't matter what others think of you. You will not be able to live in this world if you try to make everyone happy. Some people are always going to be unhappy with you no matter how good you be to them. Don't care what others say just follow what you feel from the bottom of your heart. We all have a conscience in us and that tells us what is right and what is not. You don't have to be a hypocrite to make others happy. Just be yourself. I hate hypocrites who say one thing but think of doing the other. There is NOTHING wrong with you. Nothing is greater than honesty and integrity even if it hurts and a truth that hurts is far better than a hypocrisy that is actually not meant. Don't listen to others. When you do something wrong your conscience will make you aware that you are doing a wrong thing. Good luck!
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replied September 28th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Mariah: unless you're written language is just vastly better than your spoken, I think you are being too hard on yourself about your English. We all could understand everything you were saying. When speaking, just try to relax and speak slowly.

Why are you nervous to even look your father in the eye? Is your relationship with him good?

You need to ask yourself what you are afraid of when you turn away and don't make eye contact with people. Are you afraid they are judging you? What would happen if you just made eye contact and smiled with someone? Would they yell and throw things? No, they'd just smile back. Try making eye contact and smiling with one person every day. You don't have to stare, just three to five seconds and that's it. After a few days, you'll see that you can control your fear and anxiety. It doesn't have to control you. Then move on to making sure you look at people in the eye when you talk to them. Again, you don't have to stare, just look at their eyes, then glance around at other things, then back to them for a little bit. Don't over-think it. Just relax and enjoy the conversation.

If you really can't seem to conquer this on your own, maybe seeing a therapist about it would help. There is no shame in being shy, but you obviously aren't happy with the way things are and want them to change.
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replied September 28th, 2009
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MyruhU
thanks for your post and i agree with you honesty should be controlled we don't want to hurt people.
im not lonely because of my honesty i keep my honesty with people whom understand and knew my intention but there are some people whom blame every one wile the problem is with their attitude.

example a wife complain that her husband ignores her and a void her ( she is very aggressive she has a temper and she attack people never give them a chance to talk or expalne ) thats why he avoid her. and talk about her behinde her back treat her nicely but no one has the courage to tell her no one wants her to bite his head off . she always blame every one. and you care for her. you now she will never accept criticizm. she wants to be with you but her aggressiveness is unbearable.
you get my point...

and im lonely because i choose to be.i believe that we choose to . people love me but its hard to get along with every one i want my old friends its hard to find people whom you can trust and get along with. maybe am lonely because i have no mate no partner.

i love my father he is very kind but i don't know why its hard to make eye contact with him or my mom. i had a hard life maybe staring was the biginning of most of the trouble

concerned

you are always great sweet understanding i love your open mind. you always have this great influence on me since i ever came here im so grateful
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replied September 28th, 2009
Experienced User
Jesus said that we should love others as we love ourselves, which is easier said than done as this is a direct commandment from God. Lets support each other & learn how we can do for others & submit to God's will.

High mariah!
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replied September 28th, 2009
Experienced User
Mariah you & i have been talking togeather for months & there has been not once that i have had any problem understanding what you say, & who could be blamed for getting english wrong anyway it is a dismal language, your language or tongue is much more direct in it's meaning where as english requires much description in it's understanding.
Hears something that will probably surprise you i too have the same issues as you with looking at people, The positive side of that is it is also a sign of being humble & as your experience in life increases it becomes easier to look at people. My confidence has increased greatly when i allowed God to take control of my life & my happiness has excelled greatly! i've never been happier. Allowing or making this happen is not easy but is worth the effort & reward of God's working in our lives!
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Users who thank timeisshort for this post: mariah79 

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replied September 28th, 2009
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timeisshort
im so glad ur here and i hope your doing great.
when i talk in school face to face with a group trying to explain something acadimicly it is hard to look at people in the face talk un like when you type re reading your massage and adjust it .imagen all the pressure imagen my silly accent its a mixture of british and american and something. some one is talking 3 words american and 1 british then 1 canadian and 2 british then 4 american oh my god thats weird and no fancy words a grown up talks like a first grader. is it a new language . i"ve been to catholic school in the state then private then british then bilingual basically british.
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replied September 29th, 2009
i think someone got me wrong somewhere. one has to be honest but has to be wise and reasonable when they approach people.

what i suggested is to be honest to the extent to loose some people you have, didnt mean to be brutal rather never be hypocrate to retain relationships coz it doesnt help any of you.

honesty artitude goes against hypocrity one, therefore if to be with someone means being hypocrit then you better be lonely by beig honest and loose them.
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replied September 29th, 2009
Experienced User
Mariah, your being too hard on yourself! do i use fancy words? hardly, my education was yr 10 in secondary school no university degrees or useless pieces of paper to say how outstanding i'm NOT!The difference for you is that you are used to your native language & then your turned inside out trying to master this english tongue twister! relax give yourself time & credit for the effort applied, if people here had been through what you have endured throughout your life they wouldn't be doing as well with this change as you are, no where near it!
There is one Friend who will never leave us, never cheat on us, never be un fair & will always want the best for us & has unconditional love for all!
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