I am 28 now, have been sexually active for the past 8 years, and have had Erectile Dysfunction the entire time. My ED appears to be independent of drugs, alcohol, fitness level, and stress in my lifestyle (I have used drugs on occasion, but have not very often). The thing most worrying to me is I am unable to respond to anything but direct mechanical stimulation- I do not respond physically to porn, visual stimuli, and I never fantasize. This is despite the fact that I wake up with an erection and can achieve one (by direct stimulation) to masturbate. The only time I ever remember achieving an erection through purely mental stimulation was when I was 14, and a female friend jokingly suggested we have sex. I have tried to fantasize, but have found that I am completely unable to imagine sex, like a mental blind spot. I lose interest very easily; for example, I will lose my erection if I give a girl oral. I have a big problem with this, as I often cant achieve an erection unless I receive oral, and I feel it is unfair that I cant return the favor. This problem also makes me a boring and unadventurous lover; I cant become aroused by role play (I hate it), see no point in sex toys, am disgusted at the thought of a threesome, and am completely unable to understand most men's fascination with lebian porn (ewwww). It's not just me I'm worried about; it's really unfair on any girl unlucky enough to get in a relationship with me- my lack of imagination makes me seem like a very boring, infrequent and selfish lover. Is there any explanation for the fact that a young guy like me has such a poor sexual imagination that I have ED? Please help.
From the history given, it seems that your issues could be due to psychological causes (Stress, anxiety or mood disorders and performance anxiety).
Good sex , needs a prepared and relaxed brain. When in stress or when self doubt takes over, the confidence and hence the performance drops.
The best sexual experience is when the couple is confident with their own body and sexuality as well as confident and are having a healthy sexual attraction towards their partner. When such a confidence builds in, then you will find that your issues will be solved.
Since you are able to have a erection with masturbation as well as other means, you might not be having a major cause of ED.
When you dont get erections, it means that your penis needs some time, to get active. This happens often in most males and is not a thing to worry. Probably you are not aroused completely or you are stressed out. In such a situation, instead of beating yourselves up, just relax and cuddle together, for some time.
Seek your partners help for complete stimulation (Mutual masturbation , oral sex, etc can help in sexual arousal).
Watching movies which promote sexual intimacy will also help.
Once you are properly rested and aroused, you will have proper strong erections, and have satisfactory sex.
You might consult your doctor or a sexologist, who can prescribe you medications like cialis and viagra, which when used for a couple of times will help you gain your confidence.
If you can get an erection then you don't have ED. Sounds like performance anxiety, or some time of mental trauma leading to your sexual dysfunction. You may want to consult a sex therapist to help uncover the root of your problem.
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