Stacy,

Sorry that no one answered your post, so I thought I'd try to help.

I trust you read my post on the other thread, so I won't repeat it. It concerns me also that he tried to commit suicide. What's going on with that?

Is he so unhappy that he's willing to throw away four years with you for no good reason? If he says he doesn't know if he loves you, then I'd ask myself if the fact that you're pregnant is at the root of everything that's happened.

Men are funny creatures when it comes to accepting responsibility. Most accept it, but it scares the hell out of others. It sounds as though he's not ready to settle down with you and a child for the rest of his life. Women feel an emotional bond with boyfriends and especially with babies, but men are different. Some can get up and leave so easily because they never feel that connection with either.

Of course you miss him. You love him. But, you're not married and he can leave whenever his lack of conscience tells him to. He made it clear he is not interested in staying, so I would start seeking out an alternate plan for the baby's sake. Maybe check with relatives to stay with them until you are back on your feet and can work.

This situation is not unique in today's world, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

Oh yeah.. I explained everything in another LONG post.. He was always my best friend. We would spend all of the time that we had with each other always. We were a great team.

However, he's always struggled with depression and alcohol. For years even before I met him. I guess I always thought that I could help him by loving him and supporting him through it all for 4 years. We grew a great bond.

Yes, its definitly been a hard pregnancy. He really does need alot of help thats forsure. We lived together for 3 of the four years. I have to stay where I am though. I am in a lease. ERR Oh well such as life!

Its sad though he just got out of the hospital. He's under the impression that NO ONE can help him. I just tell him to be strong and keep moving forward till he finds the RIGHT kind of help. Which he is not going to find laying in bed watching TV etc. Its really sad. Today he was suppose to start a program. I think he has a fear of changing growing and getting better.

When he was young he was molested. Which may have contributed. He's an extreamly nice person. LIKE OVER THE TOP nice because he wants to do good things all of the time. He thinks its good that he's leaving me and he thinks that its going to be better for me and the baby. Usually, if someone gets upset with him he will drink. If he's stressed out he will drink. When he tried to kill himself it was because I was on his case about drinking. His work was putting him on commission, and his parents were taking away the car he borrowed. It was kinda a downward sprial. It doesn't help that his mom has been mad at me for even being pregnant. He can't please her by being with me and he can't please me by being with her. So, he just tried to kill himself.

I know its a sad story. I feel bad, but What can I do?

* I have another post about this its more detailed. Its very hard to go through. Thanks for noticing and for responding to my post

I'm sorry about what you have to go thruogh. I really hope things go well for you. I'm 5 months pregnant and I culdn't imagine what I'd do if my boyfriend left me [again,we broke up a long time ago for 10 months, because he was seeing another girl..that really hurt, but I wasn't faithful to him back then either..and yeah, sorry I'm rambling..]
In any case, I wish you the best!

I am going crazy! ERR I am just so mad. Apparently he's telling his parents and family that he's upset that I am pregnant etc. You know what. I am just so mad! his family blames me for it!

I had to be Miss Butt-In-Sky on this one........you alone did not get pregnant. Its a really sad day, a crying shame when a man lies around and feels sorry for himself, knowing he has created a life he will be responsible for until that child is 18, or....still in school. You are beating your own self esteem up by allowing him and others to use you as the scapgoat....blaming YOU for being pregnant. This is totaly bull****. Yes, Fairy*Godmother says BULL**** when appropriate. Depressed or not, he needs to get a grip and maybe have a reality slap in the face. He only has 5 months left to decide how he is going to (PAY) yes this is what COURTS are for. YOu may be "stuck in a lease where you are living, but you are not going to have to live on only your income........ITS the LAW. Why would you even want to be iwht htis guy if he has no idea if he loves you are not? You and this baby are very much worth loving and being with. If he can't make up his own mind and get help.....do it for him.....do it for you and this baby. You are going to be a Mother. And the choice is going to be up to you.....bring this baby into this world and be confident.....YOU ARE SOMEONE SPECIAL. Get out of this slump you have allowed him to pull you into and tell yourself you are going to be the best Mother you can be. I raised my daughter alone and I know there are lots of other Mothers out there who raise children alone. Not about to sit back and wait for some "depressed, sad, man" tell me....I don't know if I love you...I don't think I'm ready for this baby..........A little late ya think? We got your back girlfriend....you will never be alone. There are all kinds of options and help available to you........ Always here!

WOW! Thats just what I needed today. Yes, I just find it annoying. because sometimes he's calling me, and I call him back. YEsterday, his brother said not to talk to him anymore, because the baby stresses him out!

You know what blows me away.. WHEN we STOPPPPPPPPPED using protection... He knew even though they said it was not possible.. IT WAS possible. I remember saying.... What will you do if I get pregnant. He said he would be HAPPPPPPPPY!! Back then we lived far away from his family.

I just can't believe it. It was so sudden you know. Like yes, I was putting pressure on him not to drink etc. Actually. I would drink socially with friends before I met him.. When I say social.. I mean.. I would have 1 or 2 drinks... I got drunk twice.. I wasn't much for puking and being hung over..

When I met him.. I didn't know he drank until we were together for awhile. (he hid it well) When I found out. I stopped drinking completely. I started supporting him. for the past four years I have been with him.. Supporting him with his habit. To quit... His family continued to drink around him etc.

Now that I am pregnant his parents and family treats me like crap.. Like I am the scum of the earth.. His mom said to me WHY DIDN"T YOU USE CONDOMS!! I said.. WHY DIDN"T YOU USE A CONDOM!! I was so mad.. Usually I am ok, bbut I have to start standing up for myself and stop getting run over by them..

When they first found out they were happy.. Excited even.. Then he started drinking more and tried to commit suicide.. Then his parents told me not to see him at the hospital.. I stopped going. They went there EVERYDAY.. Then they got him to move OUT of here and move in with them. Then they went on a nice vacation right after he got home from the hospital and then he continued drinking etc.

They blame me for being pregnant and don't want to have anything to do with it. He calls me and doesn't ask about the baby. He just asks about the dog and talks about himself. Its hard. You know when your best friend.. Just simply gives up on life and decides to try to kill themselves. I am also telling you. I saved his friggen life! I found him and called 911. He would have died if I didn't..

I don't deserve the crap that they are putting me through.. Its my first baby. I am scared crapless of delivering this baby ALONE.. LIke I didn't put it in there on my own.. So, why do I have to get it out on my own. Don't get me wrong. I love babies.. SOOOO MUCH and I will be the best DAMN mom. But its just a time that should be happy.. You know.. I am 24 he is 32. I just wanted to enjoy the time. Not worry about making ends meet on my salary. Not being worried about a house, car etc. Its just crazy. Its really not fair.. Why do MEN always get the choice.. I love being pregnant though. I have never felt such great feelings, or such fear. If he was there supporting me. I just think it would be alot easier.. It would be nice to have a hug..

He is 32 and still back home wtih MOMMY........this says a whole lot........he is still tied to Mommy's apron strings and has not learned to live up ot his responsibilities. Some best friend. What about your parents/family and friends? You do not have to go through this alone. You od not need his support, you need to face reality.........Its obvious when he calls and only ask about the dog nad talks about himself.......ego problem! No life is never fair, but we learn and some of us never learn to take what we are given and make the very best of it instead of living in a gloomy sad situation. Life is too short to live in this situation. Cut the cord....let him live with his Mommy and go on vacation and whatever the hell else his immature self wants to do.....You, on the other hand need to step up to the plate, aim for the big picture and slam that ball slap out of the ball park.............you can do this......think positive, not negative...........not easier said than done....focus on this new life inside of you and the hell with him..........its obvious he wants nothing to do with you or htis baby.....there are plenty of good men out there who will appreciate you and this child.........Its up to you, ball is in your court!

Yes, its sad that she has such a hold over him. This really sucks. I am focusing on the baby.. It would be easier if he was around to do that with me.

I sorry to hear about your situation.

You do have a few options though/

1. Wake your man up, tell him what you feel. A baby is not your only responsibility. If he's gonna contribute a sperm, he'd better be prepared to take up his duties. He may be depressed but that doesn't give him the reason to just leave you.

2. Raise your baby yourself. Many single-mothers in the world are doing superb jobs in raising their children, i'm sure you can too.

3. If you still really love him after you have your baby, you can arrange for meet ups with him. Have him play/interact with your baby and maybe he might change his mind. If you really do love a person, don't give up on him.

Many others options/actions are actually available for you, just NEVER ABORT.
It all depends on how you feel about this guy. Does he actually care about you but is just distracted because of his problems? Or does he think his problems are more important than you? Ask yourself these questions and you will know what you want and what you should do.

Good luck and have love in your heart always. (:

I could totally relate to you, my boyfriend pushed me away after 3 years, and left me pregnant. He told me the same thing he didn't know if he loved me, cared about me, or let alone talk to me. His family is happy about the whole thing, but he is not. His excuse is that it's my fault, that it wasn't suppose to happen to him, or that he feels obligated to be with me now. I had to be straight forward with him I couldn't be crying and stressing about it anymore, he had to tell me that he what he wanted. I'm not going to force someone to be with me if they aren't willing to. I love him God knows I do, but I am three months pregnant now and it's not good for the baby. I'm scared too because I never thought I would do this on my own and I always believed he would be there for me. He always said he would love me forever and even if I had a baby. What sucks is that over the past two months there were times where he said he would take responsibility and he 's ready, but then he would stop talking to me. I Know he is scared to and I always try to justify his actions, but I can't no more he's an adult now, and he has to make his own decisions. His parents beg me to give him more time and that he is still in shock, but I'm tired of him playing games with me. I love him and I always will, but I want him to come around when he really means it. He's a good person no matter how's he's been with me, which is why I'm not giving up on him, I just can't worry about him right now. Good Luck and be strong, because trust me it is hard, but he will come around. (",)

I wouldnt generalize and say men always get the choice. Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic but I always seem to be the one to get burned. I can't even begin to imagine how alone you must feel but I can only guess that when the baby does come it will become your life and things will be much easier. You must live for your child now and someday maybe work things out with him.