I'm a 24 year old male, and I've had a large focus on school and my career all my life. Because of this, there have been very few women in my life. Part of this is by choice, because there are very few women that actually interest me.
Now I'm at a point where I've been single for 7 years. I also haven't had sex, kissed, or even held a girl's hand in that time. It never bothered me though, because I was focused on my work.
After switching jobs last year, I finally met an amazing, and single, woman. We had the same interests, got lost in conversation, and at least I thought, enjoyed each others company. She was the first woman in such a long time who was ever nice to me, or showed interest in me. Over the course of months, my barriers wore down and I completely fell for her. She rejected me, telling me not to confuse being nice with romantic feelings. I was devastated by this.
For the last three months, I've been trying to meet new people, and start a relationship, or just have a fling. I've been rejected over 10 times.
Parallel to that in the last two months, I've distanced myself from my co worker, not being as open or starting conversations. I don't think she's even noticed. Whenever she's around I feel my temperature rise, and I begin to sweat. Thinking about her with another man makes me feel frustrated, depressed and worthless. I've never told her this though. I still act professional and polite with her, never refusing if she needs help with something.
Day to day at work has become a serious struggle for me, some days harder than others. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to get over this and move on with my life...
I don't want to give up on her, but at the same time I have to. I'm not mature enough to look at her as just a friend, my feelings were too strong.
I can only see two options, just accept the pain and endure it, or find a new job. The second option is not good, since I've established myself very well in this new company.
I feel like the world's biggest loser, and kind of a jerk as well.