I'm 22years old, and I have never been on a date guys don't even seem to notice I exist.I am also a childhood cancer survivor I was diagnosed with Leukemia when I was 13years old, and currently 8years cancer free.I don't tell people that unless I truely know and trust them but I think men know there is something with wrong with me just by looking at me.My mom and my friends all of them say I'm beautiful and I have a huge heart which I can agree with that part I spend every summer at a camp for children who have/had cancer.
All of my friends are in relationships and I'm seeing more and more people around my age are getting engaged or know its going to happen soon.When I try and talk to guys in my classes I get this look all the time like please stop talking so I do. I've put up this wall because my dad has cheated on my mom many times and he has been physical abusive towards me up until the last year.Up until recently I've been keeping people out because of that abuse afraid that the man I would wind up with would be abusive like my dad getting hit and threatened.Only within the last few months have I started letting this wall down a little but guys still look the other way. Everything I've been through I just want to know for once what its like to be loved to know what a loving relationship is but no one gives me the time of day to get to know me. Is there something wrong with me?
Congrats in being cancer freeeeeeeeee, wtg!!! You are already a winner. Things will only get better for you here on in. If you can beat cancer you can beat anything to include the residue of your abusive father. Go volunteer at an adult cancer center or volunteer as a motivational speaker at a hospital. It is good you are already doing that at a camp for children but do it at an adult facility. You are sure to find your beau.
For what it's worth, I'd date you. You sound like an exceptionally kind and decent woman. The girl I'm seeing now has also been through abuse and that has made it hard for her to trust people too. I am very grateful that she was brave enough to give me a chance. You sound very brave too. In spite of everything, you have the courage to start conversations with boys. This is such a rare occurrence in my experience, and those guys clearly can't appreciate the wonderful opportunity they've been given to actually have a conversation initiated by a girl.
You say you have friends who are in relationships. Well if they are true friends then they'll help you find a relationship of your own, provided they know about your troubles. If they don't, then tell them you'd like their help. I know that can be hard, and it's always better when friends help each other out spontaneously. But in any case, at least make sure they know how much you need them.
Also, I would advise you to try online dating. There is no shame in that, despite what some jerks would have you believe. You can skip past all the bull crap and know right from the start that every man you look at is interested in finding a woman to be with. And you won't even have to start the conversations if you don't want to. You will most likely be messaged every day. The biggest free dating sites are plentyoffish and okcupid.