I just have something on my mind and I was hoping maybe I can get some input or try to get some idea what is going on, maybe someone has had this happen to them as well.
Firsty, I will say I am a homosexual 18 year old male, but I don't think its entirely relevant since sex is sex and an erection is an erection, lol, i'm only putting it out there so that I can more easily explain what's going on. However, I understand that the topic may not be something everyone wants to hear about, so please, if you don't, then don't read, and please don't leave me nasty comments. That being said, I appreciate anyone taking their time to read, and hopefully help me out.
My first time having sex was a couple of months ago, with a guy I really liked, but we were both drunk, and I wasn't able to get an erection. Afterwards I remember him asking me why I couldn't get hard, and I didn't really have an answer for him. I didn't know. Ever since I have been really worried about it. Long story short, we ended up going separate ways, and that was that.
About a week or two ago, I met someone new, and we have been talking and hanging out a lot, almost every day. And one night when we were together, we were in the heat of the moment, and he wanted to have oral sex... now here is what I don't understand. When we're fooling around or making out, etc; etc; and carrying on and I'm not thinking about it, I start to get hard, although not quite fully, but as soon as I think he is going to make a move to go further, I start worrying to myself about whether or not i'm going to be able to get hard, and what he will think of me if I'm not? In that instance, I was able to get hard enough that we were able to do that, but I didn't orgasm.
And here-in lies my problem - I don't know if what I have going on is an early symptom of ED? or if its all just in my head?
The other night we were messing around again, we were in the heat of the moment, and I was started to get hard, but as soon as I started thinking that it might go further, it was game over. And he started to reach for my belt and I told him no...
Later on I found out that he felt really bad, and that he thought maybe it was his fault somehow... so obviously I told him it wasn't, and I've talked to him about this. It's just putting a lot of stress on a developing relationship that is going really, really well other than this problem.
That being said, when I'm by myself, I have no problem getting an erection, or masturbating...
>< Obviously, I'm very frustrated by all of this.
You should definitely talk to your GP but I wouldn't worry too much, if you can do fine on your own it probably isn't anything physiological.
Most likely psychological. You mentioned above that the first time you tried you were drunk.
Alcohol is a funny drug, in small doses it acts as a stimulant but if you get 'drunk' you are experiencing Alcohol's depressant qualities. It relaxes you, but it also makes you less responsive (*wink wink*), and delays reflexes. It slows down your entire Central nervous system.
What I can recommed from personal experience is that you sit down with your partner and talk everything through. Get it all out and the weight should be off your shoulders. It may be awkward but it will go a long way to making you feel better.
Certainly do not base every sexual experience you have off that first, drunken night.