I'm new here, I specifically sought out a forum like this so that I could post and maybe seek some help with my problem. I know a lot of guys my age or younger probably have similar problems, but I feel like mine has gotten to the point where I can't just act like it'll fix itself anymore. Not without some kind of changes in my life, and I honestly don't know what those changes should be.
As the subject says, I'm 27 years old and for almost as long as I can remember, the idea of sex has always been on my mind more than it probably should be. I sometimes think because I have gotten so hung up on the idea of sex, that it might've ruined friendships I've had with girls because instead of actually caring about spending time with them, I was probably more concerned with "what if we had sex". The common thing I've been told is that I am desperate and that that shows. I've been desperate since I hit puberty, if I didn't grow out of it, it's not gonna change overnight.
It's been especially rough, because I am also a guy who has had no luck with relationships. Girls I've known my whole life never want to be in a relationship with me, and always keep it as "just friends" because I've got bad teeth, and am not super hot. I've never thought I was the most unattractive guy in the world, but the way girls have treated me, you'd think I was. Even now I still feel like I'm suffering through that, because girls don't see an attractive guy when they look at me. They see maybe a "cute" guy, that would be a nice friend, but nothing more. It probably has never helped that I have always probably looked desperate on the inside. Of course I'm going to look desperate, because girls never want to spend time with me. I can't just have an attitude of "i'm hot stuff" when I don't have the experience to back it up.
Not getting into a relationship ever though hasn't made it easy because of my ridiculous sex drive. I don't like to think of myself as a pervert or anything like that, but physically I am. Ever since I hit puberty, I've never been able to control my urge to masturbate, and I've hoped that as I got older, my urges would subside, but they are still terrible now. I still can go 2 or 3 times a day, and I'll be miserable unless I do it. This is why I'm thinking it's an addiction. I waste more time on it than I ever want to!
It's also gotten worse in other ways...Years ago, I've would sometimes get to the point where I've paid for cam sex on stupid websites with girls for money, and in the last year it's gotten worse! I've actually paid for physical companionship...something I'm REALLY not proud of, but my craving got the best of me. This is bad, because I'm not the kind of person who can afford to do that kind of thing either. I don't make a lot of money. It was a total waste when I spend money out of the way on that stuff.
On the surface, it probably could easily look like I'm just a really lonely guy, who's lack of real sex makes me look for it in other ways. I don't want to be doing it as often as I am though. I'm not happy with my life being alone, and I'm even less happy that I spend so much of it masturbating, or paying someone. I don't know what else to do though. I live with my parents, don't make much money and have no friends outside of my coworkers, and have no lady friends to even think of a potential relationship anymore.
I just really need help on maybe how I could get over these addictions. It doesn't probably help that I don't have friends to go out with ever, and am stuck at the house when I'm not at work. I can only work with what I have in my life though.
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