Will it work in real life? I dont know what I want :(

sighhhhhh.....I have no idea how I ended up here. I will start from the beginning and finish, quite naturally at the end, where I am now. About three years ago I joined a games website and played lots of different people and made alot of friends. One in particular in a similar situation to myself, married/children/unfulfilled/mid to late 40's. We played and chatted and before either of us realised it, innocent flirting if there is such a thing had turned into something alot deeper which I can only define as love and an intense internet affair, which has now lasted three years, across the oceans from one country to another. We spend hours online every day and have done for the majority of our three years. We have contact via email, IM and phone daily and share each others worlds through this. We share each others troubles, give advice...seek advice, respect each other, laugh with each other, cry with each other and have discussed many times 'if' we could actually make it work. So now? My life has stopped. His wife has found out, and I dont know what to do. Do I really want to be with him? I dont know . I am so lost and sad and confused. I have a wonderful husband whom i have been with for twenty years, just without a spark. It would break him to lose me. It would break me to lose my husband. Please help me ..... very sad