Dating Forum - Will I ever trust again?

Relationships > Dating Forum > Will I ever trust again?

Q: Will I ever trust again?

asked by: maggie420 on April 6th, 2009

Experienced User

My last relationship ended about a month ago. It was horrible but couldnt let go because I loved him. Now we both have gone our separate ways and Im hoping he will never return again.

At the beginning, things were wonderful, I was so happy. Then his true colors shown. He wasnt faithful to me, treated me like I was scum of the earth, mentally and sometimes physically abused me and all the lies lies and lies!! It came to a point that I questioned everything that came out of his mouth. As bad as I wanted to trust him after all that...I couldnt. And I knew I had a good reason.

Anywho, Im not here to get into that, he put me thru a lot. Im here because Im scared of the damage he's done to me. Im afraid ill never be able to walk into a relationship without holding grudges because my ex. I dont want what he did to me rule my future. I dont think ill ever be able to trust another man again. I feel that I will ALWAYS question if a man is really being faithful or not....even IF he is truly being faithful and hasnt given an reason to not believe him. I dont want to live like this...I want to trust a man that deserves this trust. I dont want to send prince charming away because of what he did to me and im scared they are gonna do the same!!! HELP!! should I just wait and see if it effects my next relationship or should I just give up?

Has anyone ever trusted again after something like this?

Replies(3)

Fairy Godmother

replied on April 6th, 2009

Supporter

Hi and Welcome

Hey Sweetie, you ahve jsut been through a really nasty relationship. You have got to stop....breath and allow yourself some time. There are plenty of good men out there who you CAN TRUST. Men who will cherish you and respect you. I'd suggest you start a journal. Write down your daily thoguths. I know you will think about the pst and how that relationship was.....write down those feelings, how it makes you feel. WHen you meet someone new, of course you will have your guard up. If this someone turns out to be soemone you would like to start a relationship with, take thigns slow. If this new man is worth our time, he will be understanding when you explain you need to take things slow, and explain to him you've been hurt and you do not want that to happen again. You have to regain your self esteem, because you were mentally, physically and verbally abused. I wouldn't RUSH into a new relationship.....I'd figure out who I was and what I wanted in life first. You have to make yourself numero UNO.... Your next relationship will only turn out like this if YOU allow it too. If you see signs of things you do not like......then get out of it instead of taking punishment you do not deserve! Got our back if you ever need me! FGM

ServiceU

replied on May 4th, 2009

Supporter

i understand

it's been 2 years i've been out of my nightmare relationship. i have a wonderful boyfriend now. but i still feel like i need to heal. the bad relationship last 5 years and i feel like i need 5(-2=3 more years) to heal.
i dont want to get married, i dont believe in forever, i dont want any more kids (only have 1, 13y.o) so my desires has changed. i used to be so excited about this. i dont really trust guys. with my current boyfriend i would make jokes about him being with someone else.
time heals all things.

buss308

replied on May 6th, 2009

New User

I was in a similiar relationship for 15 years. I was married to a monster. After I filed for divorce, I took some time to find myself. I have 3 kids with this man so I have to see him and talk to him all the time. 9 months after I filed for divorce, I met a guy. He tried everything to get my attention but I was so afraid. Finally I laid it all out on the table. I told him everything. He was, and still is, patient and kind. When he sees me getting worked up about something he holds me and says, "Just breathe, it's me." (My ex would flip out if everything in our house wasn't absolutely perfect 24 hours a day) So, I guess what I'm trying to say is take some time to heal and get to know who you are and what you want. Then, when the opportunity arises, be honest and if he is a good man, he will understand and give you what you need. We have been together for over 2 years now and it gets better every day. I know I make him nuts sometimes but he finds a way to make me laugh about it.
Good Luck.

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