Have you EVER had an orgasm? If you haven't, you should work on that first. Most women orgasm from clitoral stimulation. So, applying pressure on your clitoris will help. Therefore, oral sex is one of the best ways to have an orgasm.

One thing that I've learned the hard way is to not worry about it so much. I know he wants to please you, but the two of your should focus on how good it feels for both of you. Not necessarily orgasm....but, you know when you just enjoy it? Just have fun. There can be a lot of fights and tears that can erupt from focusing on something that a partner can just not achieve right now.

"You and your issues"? Don't worry about it! Lots of women can't orgasm from sex alone. You are not in the minority, ok? And if he's going to leave you becuase of something like this...well then, his loss. Like I said, this is pretty normal to have difficulty orgasming from sex.

My advice: just enjoy sex without having an "end goal." Have fun...and if you haven't orgasmed at all, have lots and lots of oral sex.

I have never had an orgasm in any way. I am 41 years old is there anyone out there like me?

From the sounds of it this is neither his fault or your fault. It is very rare for a woman in their 40's to have never achieved an orgasm especially with self-stimulation. You should read about Anorgasmia. It sounds like you may be suffering from this condition.

Helen Monica, you don't necessarily have any "problem" at all. I can only orgasm in a particular way, oral has never worked for me, only manual. Sex is really good but 90 percent of the time doesn't lead to orgasm.
I read a book called For Yourself by Lonnie Barbach that really helped me. It tells you different ways you can touch yourself until you find the way that works. That will be the first step. It may only be in a certain position or a certain time of day. Don't worry if it seems weird; step one is to figure it out for yourself, step two to try to do that while you're with someone. I have lots of trouble orgasming in front of a guy. I know I don't have a physical problem because I can have 8 when I'm alone! But it's so different with someone else there who's never had this problem himself, like most guys don't. Just try it for you and open your mind to it, don't think it's dirty and don't worry about how you look.