Why is he masterbating when he has me? (Page 1)

Men have a million reasons to masturbate and none of them have anything to do with you. If your sexual needs are being met in the relationship and he's not communicating any dissatisfaction with sex then you're getting yourself wound up over nothing.
Normally in this situation I'd figure he didn't feel the need to wake you up if he could take care of his needs and let you sleep peacefully. However I recall you posting something before about difficulty in your relationship. It's possible that the strain between you is making it more difficult for him to ask for the intimacy he wants.
I think it's probably a good idea to have a sit-down with him about this and other things going on in the relationship. No redefining the relationship or figuring out who's to blame. Just talk candidly about what's not working and what you two can try together to make things work better.

I had same problem with my man but he was picturing other women. Still with him, he says he hasn't done it in 6 months or so since the last time I caught him. I can't seem to trust him now. I always wake up in the morning when he does and cannot go to sleep without know ing he is gone. He has done this at least 7 times in the 2 years that I know about. How bad is this really???

how did you know he was picturing other women scared27?

no offence hisonlylove4life but its a man thing.
on some occasions for me personally i masturbate sometimes even though my partner is in because i dont feel like having full sex or when i know shes not feeling up to it id rather just do it meself rather than getting into a debate.
debates take all night a man having a quick .... takes 2 mins

Remember that for men sex is a physical thing, not an emotional thing like for us. I am sure that in his mind he cannot phantom how you can even compare sex with you to masturbation as if it is an either/or situation. He uses masturbation to work off sexual tension, he makes love to you because he loves you and do not want to do his 2 min quicky on you or put on the full production just because he is horny and feeling like jacking off.

As long as masturbation does not replace sex with me, I do not have trouble with him masturbating.

Humm... I don't know, looking from the answers. I'll say what I think: i'm a dude, why he masturbates instead of sex is beyond me because we dudes tend to prefer sex than masturbation, but hey everybodies different...

That's a total myth that sex is unemotional for men. It really depends on the person. My boyfriend is just as emotionally invested in sex as I am (maybe more so). I also have girl friends who have sex "like men" and don't get emotional about it when they aren't in a relationship.

Well I don't know cuz my bf prefers masturbation than sex!!
am not happy about it because i wan to have sex with him and I'm a good looking girl but he just prefer to do it him self he does it when I am in the shower or if I go out is devastating,,, and when I talk to him about it he said that is because it takes more energy to have sex than do it to him self because he is tiered from work.
but honestly I am about to leave this relationship of almost 2 years because of the lack of sex.

sosadsosad
What is his excuse when you tell him he's failing to meet your needs sexually?

I too feel disturbed by this. My man likes to masturbate a lot too, and he was researching online and found that men that masturbate a lot have trouble keeping their stamina in bed and come fast. He said the reason he masturbated was because he felt like a dissapointment in bed because he could not last long. So lately he has not been masturbating as frequently and we found that he could last a little longer in bed and we are both happier.

Sometimes we masturbate because we don't feel like getting into a long sex session and just want to get off quickly and be done with it. Even if you're there, maybe he just wanted to get off and didn't want to bother waking you up and then getting into one and making sure you got off too.

That might not be the only reason, but it's one of our reasons. Quite often we simply masturbate out of laziness, rather than having to make sure you're getting off too.

why do women tk everything as a personal reflection on them..
Jezzz the thing is .. Nature requires men to get turned on by a wider range of sexual images....
stop giving us a hard time and be liberal.. ..!

Thanks for everyones replies.....

Wow guys will be guys that is all I'm saying

I was sitting around today, bored, and ran across this Q&A and found it quite amusing.
Why a woman would wonder why a guy would masturbate when the woman is around is beyond me.
Let me ask the women in here this. Have you ever turned your guy down at any time? Do YOU "do it" the same old way every time? If you answered yes to either or both of these, Then you need to understand some things. If we just want to get a nut, why would we bother if there is even a hint of a chance of being turned down? Also, if you "do it" the same old way every time, he's bored.
The other thing, men just need to "nut" every once in a while, and we know the exact touch that gets us off within 2 minutes, where with women, they rarely know the "exact" touch, and it turns into a 20 minute tug of war, no pun intended.
I'm 45, married, and masturbate at least daily, while having actual sex with her once a month maybe. Why you ask? I'm one of the bored one's. When we do get together, it's the same old thing every single time. We both shower, we hop into bed, foreplay for about 30 minutes and then get it done. EVERY TIME. Believe me, I've dropped hint after hint to her, but she either doesn't get it, or doesn't want to.
My thought is that if women would masturbate more often, they would begin to understand a little better.

To the lady that originally asked the question. When you saw your boyfriend masturbating, why did you get all worked up about it? Instead, you should have starting rubbing yourself out with him, getting into mutual masturbation. Trust me, he would have responded in ways that would have blown your mind.

Women have no imagination.

To smatt65

Do you masturbate to porn? B/c that is what most women have a problem with...her man jerking off to immages of other women..or to sex scenes on the internet- imagining himself to be the guy in the scene doing it to the "nymph". If so, it's no surprise that you find sex with your lady boring. Most of us women can't really compete with those fantasy scenes and fake orgasms being acted out on the screen. Is your wife aware of the fact that you masturbate daily..and if you use porn..is she aware of that to? Is she happy with the "once-a-month-intercourse-duty-act?"
Maybe the two of you should sit down and talk about this...maybe the "once-a-month-thing" is also just a duty thing to her...maybe she also has needs you are not aware of.

Agreed!

I think smatt65 is missing the point here. The lady who asked the question didn't turn her guy down..he didn't even asked for sex with her! He switched to a war movie and waited until she fell asleep and then switched back to the dirty movies. It is clear that he had no intention of aproaching her for sex, or to even make her part of his masturbation session.
A few questions from my side to smatt who is sooooo bored...
What have you done to make sex with your lady more interesting...besides 'hinting? Have you ever planned a surprise week-end away for the two of you only? Are you lying around the house being bored all day..or are you actually having meaningfull discusions with her about things she's interested in...when was the last time you've paid her a compliment? When was the last time you made her felt appreciated? When was the last time you told her how much she turns you on?
You know what? I think she's bored to death with you and your selfish habits...playing with yourself at least daily..and I asume you need porn to 'help you out'?!!
Poor woman...how bored she must be?! Maried to a person who makes love to himself daily!? How disgusting!! I hope she's strong enough to resist having an afair with someone who finds her adorable and intersting!

Heavens, I'm a 65 y.o. married grandfather and I still masturbate 3 or 4 times per week. If masturbation meant I didn't love my wife we would have parted years ago.

Lovemaking with your partner is an emotional thing where masturbation is purely a pleasure outlet.

If it begins to interfere with your relationship perhaps you should ask questions, otherwise just accept it for what it is.

Being 65 years old, married and a grandfather doesn't make it "OK" or acceptable. Maybe you and your wife haven/t parted years ago because she wasn't aware of the fact that you have been masturbating so frequently all this time.

Why don't you tell her about it tonight..and also show her the pictures/images of the girls and the pornographic scenes to which you are masturbating ..let's see how happily married you will still be then?

You are living a secret life and it will hurt your wife tremendously if she finds out about it. How can you say you love her and at the same time focus your sexual energy on images of other (much younger?)women?

Are you making love to your wife 3-4 times a week? If not, then your masturbating habit is interfering with your relationship.