Medical Questions > Relationships > Troubled and Abusive Relationships Forum

why does he put me down?

I have lost a lot of my self confidence due to my fiancé/boyfriend. I say fiancé as i have an engagement ring but no plans have ever been made to get married.The thing is i am feeling as if im walking on egg shells around him all the time. i feel frightened to speak, talk,laugh or voice my opinion as frequently he mocks me, puts me down with a negative comment,tells me im stupid or simply ignores me. he calls me"a stupid ass/a dickhead/a tw*t/a fu**wit" he makes faces as if to hint im mentally disabled etc. I find this very hurtful and ive stopped asking him to stop it, as he'll tell me to shut up or "give it a rest" which hurts also.if i try to have a conversation about stg, often he will make it really obvious i'm boring him and yawn in my face. I feel insignificant and almost invisible and im frightened that things i say, he'll call stupid. Im university educated, am a professional (teacher) and come from a very good family.he left school at 16, however has done well financially for himself with property.i do not point out his lack of education or put him down when he cant spell something etc yet every day he infers im stupid. I feel so disrespected.he puts a lot of emphasis on material things and money, whereas i do not and find displays of money/ bling vulgar.he will often crticise what i buy or what i wear because they didnt cost a lot or havent come from an expensive shop.What can i do to make him see he's destroying me and making me into a shadow of myself?Any advice appreciated. Many thx
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replied August 22nd, 2010
What you need to to is run, now. dont make excuses for him.thats it.
hes a sociopath, look it up, and get the hell out of there.
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replied August 31st, 2010
You are so fortunate that you aren't married to this guy! It's time for you to dump him fast and get yourself some counseling in order to improve your self-esteem. A college-educated professional like yourself needs a peer to form a relationship with - it seems pretty obvious that the guy you are with is terribly insecure, especially about the fact that you're well-educated and he isn't. The reason he treats you the way he does is to bring you down to his level or below that level. He needs major counseling before he is anywhere near ready to enter into a relationship with anyone.
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replied August 31st, 2010
You are so fortunate that you aren't married to this guy! It's time for you to dump him fast and get yourself some counseling in order to improve your self-esteem. A college-educated professional like yourself needs a peer to form a relationship with - it seems pretty obvious that the guy you are with is terribly insecure, especially about the fact that you're well-educated and he isn't. The reason he treats you the way he does is to bring you down to his level or below that level. He needs major counseling before he is anywhere near ready to enter into a relationship with anyone.
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