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Why does everything feel fake and dreamlike?

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I've been like this for several years now. It used to be just on and off, but now I feel it all the time. I don't know why, but I don't feel real and nobody else that I talk to seems real either. Actually everything doesn't seem real, I'm not even sure if I'm just a being on the outside of myself looking in from a foggy window or if I am my own actual being among many others. I used to cut myself hard for the pain and the sight of blood, both of which I was ironically terrified of. I haven't self harmed for several weeks now and I've taken up drawing, but I don't even seem very good at that either. I don't seem to be good at anything I try. I'm a very quiet person, the kind of person you don't notice in class. I go to high school currently. Unlike the majority of the boys (and girls) at my school, I'm not interested in having intimate relationships or sex or anything like that. I like to get my schoolwork done. After that, I have nothing to do. My life is school. When I am done with school, I just sit in a corner in a pathetic little ball and wait. Not even my own parents notice me, and I wonder when the last time they too me they loved me was.

I've been feeling really...and I mean REALLY terrible lately. It's so bad I don't be know how to describe it. I don't have any motive to do anything at all. Sometimes I just sit and physically wince at my own thoughts of how terrible of a person I am and all the wrongs I have done. That's another thing, whenever I let my mind wander, it always goes over the bad things I have done throughout my entire life. I can't stop it, and it's painful to sit there while my own mind makes me watch every single terrible feed I have done, every argument, every lost friend, everything. During this especially I feel unreal and like a person looking at myself through fog.

I don't believe in god.

Someone please help me, I can't take this.
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replied August 13th, 2012
You are having anxiety and symptoms of depersonalization/derealization. I would suggest you look into the Linden method or the Depersonalization Recovery: Total Integration Method. Both can be found on the piratebay if you don't have the money to buy them. Good luck, I am currently dealing with dp/dr too and know how difficult it can be to live with.
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replied April 8th, 2017
I feel the same way. I thought I was the only one.
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It started on and off, but now it gets so bad I need to scream. I used to cut, I recently stopped... I just want to feel real. I also have voices in my head. Am I crazy!? They say I am. They tell me to do bad things....
anyway, feeling fake hurts mentally. That's why I used to cut. The pain was AMAZING and the blood was a bonus. I wish I could cut again, but if I do my dad will get me a counsellor, and they wouldn't understand what I'm going through! I really do feel fake or like everything is a dream. Don't judge but I think of something and it happens... but I just want to feel real
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replied April 8th, 2017
I've been like this since 2012...
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