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Why does anal hurt me?

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My husband and I have anal every once in a blue moon but I doesnt feel good. Sometimes it hurts so I have him stop but when I'm really relaxed and we try again it doesnt hurt it just doesnt feel good. I have tried rubbing myself in the process but still nothing. Anything else I can try?
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replied March 29th, 2009
Experienced User
DarkFairyDust,
First you must ensure that you use plenty of lubrication otherwise you will get excessive rubbing and it will be painful. I frequently have anal sex and I always use lube.
Wendy
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replied March 29th, 2009
Community Volunteer
Anal is not for everyone, myself included. My only advice to you is if you get nothing out of it, be honest and say so. You have experimented with it, its not your thing, find a new thing to try.
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replied March 30th, 2009
Lube
we use plenty of lube so its no friction. Its doesnt really bother me when he does it, i just dont get that good feeling other people do and i would like to be able to experiance that.
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replied March 30th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
have you tried using a vibrator? I enjoy anal sex and it feels really good. But just anal sex will not make me orgasm. It feels great but that along just isnt enough. I have to have a toy to thoroughly enjoy it.

Maybe use one of thise egg shaped ones. Those are fun and easy to use during anal. The orgasm combined w/clitoral stimulation and anal sex is mind blowing.
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replied June 20th, 2009
Experienced User
What my woman and I finds is mind blowing is that I put a small vibravating penis (no more than 4") in her anus, while my penis is in her vagina, and with the vibrator on and I'm moving in and out of her; it is mind blowing! Sometime we changes up, with the vibrator in her vagina and my penis in her anus, I am able to feel the vibration through the wall of her vagina and anus, either way, it is a good feeling!
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replied June 21st, 2009
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bo21 wrote:
What my woman and I finds is mind blowing is that I put a small vibravating penis (no more than 4") in her anus, while my penis is in her vagina, and with the vibrator on and I'm moving in and out of her; it is mind blowing! Sometime we changes up, with the vibrator in her vagina and my penis in her anus, I am able to feel the vibration through the wall of her vagina and anus, either way, it is a good feeling!
Good advice! But remember to WASH the vibrator before inserting into the vagina after it has been in the "back door" (This comment is for those who may not know better)
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replied April 1st, 2011
Your correct on that cross ref those germs gives ladies nasty infections
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replied June 21st, 2009
Experienced User
Good advice motherofhighsprirtedones,I washes the vip. after I pull it out of the back door and I also uses a condom before I enter the back door!
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replied June 22nd, 2009
I have to be extremely stimulated relaxed and lubed to have anal sex. when we do it which is not often it's usually at the end and I use a vib on my clit and it feels great. you cannot be tense at all during anal sex or it will be very painful.
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replied April 28th, 2010
my girlfriend and i have tried anal sex.... noe i know im her first cuz she was a noob at everything we did, from kissing to sex. now we we have anal sex but it doesnt hurt her at all, is that normal??? she only feels pressure so she says. but i dont know what to think??? last girlfriend said it hurt. im only 6 inches so am i 2 small???

pls help
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replied May 10th, 2010
I would say that anal is not for you if you get no plasure and it hurts sometimes. Ask your husband why he wants to continue an act that gives you no pleasure and is even painful at times. Ask him if he thinks is a fair exchange for some he loves.
One thing more - many women perform act that please their partners and do not please them. After a while resentment biulds as you notice he uses you for his pleasure and you get nothing out of the encounter. Remember it is your body no one has a right to use it - ask your husband if he loves you enough to take anal sex off of table as one of the things you both do. If he whines and begs then you know where his priorities are - his pleasure at your expense.
He has a chance of your refusing anal any any other sex. It''s called sexless marriage and it frequent occurs when one partner get nothing out of sex and becomes a chore instead of an expressio of love. If this begins it is difficult to turn things aroud you may want to share with him if you begin to feel resentful.
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replied August 12th, 2010
me and my bf want to try anal but we are not sure if we should cause we are both scared we are gonna mess it up and hes scared hes gonna hurt me, but he still wants to do it.

so are there any tips to make it feel better for both of us, and not make it hurt for me.
or make it better for me
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replied April 1st, 2011
Some good tips if you still would like to try.
Ok this post will be graphic, but hopefully it will help you with your problem. It hurt pretty badly my first few times. But with some practice and proper warming up process, you will feel a lot better about it (and you may enjoy the deep penetration sensations, which I eventually found to be amazingly enjoyable!) A few good tips that might help you to warm up properly would be him putting a (lubricated with lube, oil or spit) finger inside of your anus, then another, just slowly, while he is doing something to stimulate your clit to make you more comfortable and make it more enjoyable for you. breathe in and out and relax and you will feel it loosen down there to where he can lube up his penis and slowly put just part of it (maybe an inch or two) in there. Use a lot of lubricant. If you are enjoying it and you feel it loosen around him, then continue to lube up and allow him to enter. Keep breathing, relax, relax. You will feel a warmer sensation once you really have relaxed. Otherwise, if you don't it feels kind of uncomfortable and can even make you feel sick. Also, another thing, which you could use in order to make it looser before you even engage with your partner, would be to experiment making it comfortable with yourself and putting your fingers, or something like a small to medium sized butt-plug, up there. This will definitely loosen it up and make sex easier in that area for you in the future. If you find you still don't like it, of course, you can let him know it's not for you and just do what you are still comfortable with. Take care and I hope that helps!
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replied April 1st, 2011
Some good tips, this is something that I think feels very good, but can only get a little bit of penetration before it hurts. I have had a hemorrhoid for 20 years, doesn't bother me, but wondering if this is causing the pain?
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replied April 1st, 2011
possible ways to ease the pain, and prevent the hemorrhoids.
do you mean you've been getting them on regular occasions for 20 years and anal seems to irritate it? You would want your bowels to be clear before anal, especially if you're trying to go deeper. Having gone to the bathroom sometime within the last 12 hours (some recommend at least the last 7 hours) is recommended. If I haven't gone to the bathroom yet that day, we just don't do it that day. It could be that, although the part closer to the outside is relaxed, farther inside, it is not, and he may be going farther in too fast for you and that makes it not as pleasurable. In order to make deeper areas inside you properly loosen up, slowly let him go in farther in steps. He can push just a little more, maybe apply more lubricant as you go, and then you wait a minute for it to get comfortable, breathe a little and relax. And then he could do it again (in a few more steps if needed) until he is all the way in. sometimes you just have to do it that way anyways. That could help. Another possibility is that you could be built kind of small in that area. That would probably be something you would rule out last after you try everything else. But if you still find there's pain and it's from the hemorrhoids flaring up, you could try to naturally ease your bowels and prevent them from happening in the first place. You want your bowels to be regular, and to not have to push a lot or spend a long time on the toilet, which will just make that area more sore and prone to getting the hemorrhoids. Personally, I would do that the natural way by getting into a healthier diet with lots of good natural fiber (like from nuts, whole grains and unprocessed cereals.) Fruits, like bright oranges (or any citrus fruit, really) help prevent the hemorrhoids too by helping the bowels move along. It's no wonder I craved orange juice when I was constipated this morning, and I just found out that oranges help that sort of thing! Also, drinking more water regularly would really help ease the bowels too. They need that water to work. A good indication that you're not getting enough water is that your pee is simply too yellow and strong smelling rather than having more of a tint of yellow in it and less of a strong smell. Last but not least, if none of the above (or your own methods to ease your problems) seems to help, you could go to your doctor to see if there is more you can do about it or if it's another problem you might not realize you have down there. Good luck with everything!
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