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why do straight men watch gay porn? (Page 1)

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i found out that my bf was watching porn...GAY PORN...i felt betrayed but yet disgusted. Is he not interesed in me anymore? Is he gay? what should i do? He doesn't know that I've found this out,and everytime we have sex i can't seem to shake it off. HELP!!!!!
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First Helper needadvice06
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replied April 28th, 2009
Re: why do straight men watch gay porn?
Hi,

It sounds to me that he is just currious. Most people learn about what they enjoy or what other people enjoy by watching porn or at least learn about sex. He also might be bisexual or bicurious.

You could try asking him about it subtuly, maybe hire some lesbian porn and say you might think it would be exciting for you both to watch it, and later some gay porn and say you were curious and make him watch it with you.

The most important thing is to make him feel comfortable and that you understand, Im sure he still loves you, and I'm pretty sure its just curiousity but the main thing is to be comfortable in your relationship and frank with each other, even if its not direct. Besides what's the point in investing time and energy to a relationship for longer than necessary?

I hope this is helpful
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replied January 20th, 2012
I feel exactly the same way as Melissaramos except my partner HAS had gay relationships in the past. He says when he is tired, he thinks about men, but that it doesn't mean anything, that he still loves me. But, I find it very hard because I know there are times when he is just not interested in me, and I know it is when he is thinking about men. We have had long chats about it and he promised not to go on gay porn sites anymore but the last few days he has been distant with me, and I checked the history on the computer this morning and he was up in the night on gaytube. He is still sleeping now, so I haven't said anything yet, but my heart is breaking. It's ok everyone saying it's just curiosity looking at gay porn, but my partner has actually been there and sometimes I feel like he could take this too far and try it again, with or without me knowing.
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replied November 9th, 2012
I am a 'straight' guy, and watch 'gay' porn... My girlfriend too
I am a man, and I have a longterm girlfriend (together about 10 years now). She had sexual and romantic relations with women and men before me. I have found her masturbating to lesbian porn before. I took NO OFFENSE to it at all! I began exploring my feelings about gay porn as well. I started watching it and honest to god-- I like watching the gay guys now more than I like straight porn. Does that make me bisexual? Maybe. Gay? Maybe. Straight? Maybe that too. It just makes me a human being.

People have way too many ideas about what "normal" relationships should be. Why do you think that there are more divorces than there are marriages? It is because people are trying to make each other fit into some label, that honestly, will never honor that person you love. People need to feel like they can TRULY be themselves. If you don't honor that, then YOU will be the reason for them leaving, not them. Let people explore their own bodies. Let them be who they need to be. Who in the world cares if "straight" guys like me watch gay porn? It hurts nobody! ....It just makes me sad to see when people are so paranoid about what other people do with their bodies.

If you google phrases like "I'm straight and love gay porn" .. stuff like that, you will see that TONS AND TONS of 'straight' men love watching gay porn. It is normal! Our society has way too much homophobia to speak honestly about it though. Just be upfront, WITHOUT judgment or humiliation toward others. Gay porn is awesome because it is two or more men who really do enjoy every angles of sex. Together! LOVE IT! ...We are learning more and more about human behavior and sexuality. More times than not, it is the really macho men who enjoy gay porn the most. --Because those men tend to like themselves so much, that they want to imagine themselves pleasuring themselves. I have never been in a gay relationship, but if I were to be in one, I know we would have really great sex! I still love my girlfriend so sooo much too! .. Again, we are all just human beings, with normal natural curiosities that continue for our entire lifetime.
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replied June 12th, 2013
How can a woman know or find out if he will eventually seek a male partner? It seems like it is very hard to tell the difference between being curious/open vs. actually wanting sex with a man.
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replied January 29th, 2012
Why is there always an excuese for people to watch other people having sex with each other. Straight or gay porn, people who watch it have some sort of spychological problems or issues with their relationship. Unless they are just curious....such a sick world
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replied November 9th, 2012
If you think that these subjects are so sick, then why are you reading and writing about it? ...Do you know that 99% of the people in first-world countries enjoyably watch pornography? Yes, it is true. So, when you look at those numbers, you realize that it is in fact, very very normal and healthy. People like it. They have fun, and they are not hurting a single soul. Stop judging people. People are on here, being very vulnerable and sincere, and you go and put them down? (You can go to some other site then.. In fact, maybe go watch some porn. It may help you to relax and accept yourself more. )

Sexuality is a thing that every human being was given by god himself! People without sexual curiosities are actually the abnormal ones. ...Too many hurtful, mean people trying to judge others. I say, go out and watch all the porn that you could ever dream of! Gay! Straight! Bisexual even! Just be a normal and real human being, and stop judging other people for their god-given desires.

Why do people feel betrayed or disgusted in someone else, just because they enjoy themselves watching porn?! Don't take it so personally. Lighten up.. And go explore your own body and desires. You never know, it may just feel really goooood!
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replied December 25th, 2012
watching porn does not mean there are any problems in a relationship i think that is very ignorant comment people are people some people like porn its as simple as that doesnt mean there cheating or going to its entertainment the problem in the relationship isnt the watcher its the person urging someone to stop doing something they know they did before when it makes them uncomfortable its insecurity not being able to seperate what a person shows you in reality from what they see on a screen get yourselve together end of day you cant stop a person from doing anything if hes gay and he gonna do it hes just going to do it trying to force someone away from something usually sends them flying to it DUH!!!!!!!
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replied April 30th, 2009
Thanks, but he always talks about people being gay. I have a brother who is bisexual and he's always making nasty comments and likes to talk S!#$. I'm scared to talk to him because i'm afraid that he will get upset that i found out.
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replied April 30th, 2009
Community Volunteer
Sometimes a person talks too much about something that they "hate"....For many it is kind of playing the acceptance game...They are making their mind believe that this is OK...Or just maybe, being a little bi curious....

Now about being scared to talk to your boyfriend because he will get mad, this is another story...This is non-acceptable...If you have a good relationship, nothing is off limits....This is the reason for the closeness to start...If it bothers you, than speak about it.....

Good luck,
Caroline
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replied March 2nd, 2010
obvious.
because he is gay. (or bisexual)

as a man. I never really watch gay porn. its not like i haven't come across it before, but i've watched parts of it out of morbidity like i've seen 2 girls 1 cup out of morbidity. but if gay porn comes at me i usually close it right away. (im sure most straight guys agree. and probably many wouldn't even accept that they've watched some. but they have).

I tried explaining this to my friend gay friend eric, and he didn't understand why i found gay porn disgusting. its the same reason i dont like avocado. because i don't like it! (yeah. i'm weird by hating avocado. but i'm sure you hate some foods too).


that he is hiding and watching it means that he is gay. was he jerking it? was he hard?

i caught my gay roommate watching porn once (he is a Catholic guy so no one knows that he is gay but me.. even though its kinda obvious. he has been dating the same chick for almost 5 years and probably will marry her).
story:
his room was by the bathroom, one time i was coming out of the bathroom and saw him staring at his computer. i walked into his room slowly to scare him (i like scaring people). but then i saw that he was watching gay porn.. i observed for like 2 minutes and he kept clicking on links and he seemed really aroused. and then i just said "what are you doing?" and he freaked out really bad (started saying IM NOT GAY IM NOT GAY)

and then i just confronted him about it and i told him im really cool with gay people and that he should accept that he is gay and live a happy life. he said he was just "curious" and that he was straight.. after a while he just told me he was bisexual.. but he is obviously really really gay.

and for the most part, homophobes are actually gay. the more gay guys, the more girls for us. why are they complaining?!


so in conclusion:

he is most likely gay (if he was aroused, enjoying it and/or jerking it)
or
if he was disgusted by it and only watching it with an "ewwwww face" (watch people's reactions to 2 girls 1 cup kinda thing)
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replied May 27th, 2012
He could be curious
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replied May 27th, 2012
He could be curious
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replied March 2nd, 2010
Um, to retort to the above post...
As a student of psychology and having just finished an extensive semester on Human Sexuality, I can confidently say that you're wrong, if but partially.
Watching gay porn and enjoying it does not make you gay. In fact, in various cultures throughout history men have taken younger men in sexual encounters as a way of teaching them about male sexuality. Even today, boys (especially around puberty) will start to get curious about male interactions as a lead-in to sex with females, but many suppress this curiosity because of the stigma that gay is "bad". Seeing something that seems stimulating will naturally get you aroused, whether it is a man or woman doing the stimulating. (To be blunt, if he's watching the tightening of a mouth or anus, he's probably thinking about the tightness, not about the man.)
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replied July 4th, 2011
I have to agree with you. It may mean that the op's boyfriend might be bisexual, or maybe he just curious about how the other side operates. I myself am in a similar situation, and my boyfriend just admitted to me that he's bisexual. Now, while I don't have a problem with this (I am bisexual msyelf) or with him watching porn (I watch it also) I recently found out that he cheated on me - which normally wouldn't be a problem, since we discussed very early in our relationship that cheating wasn't an issue as long as we were honest about it. He had every excuse in the world as to why he did it and didn't tell me, but the point is that he admitted to it and admitted he was wrong for not being honest. No, he doesn't have sexual encounters with men regularly, it was a one-time deal, and he told me that he doesn't have any desire to sleep with a man. We have a very active sex life, and we plan on marrying and having children together. Does he still watch gay porn? Yes, but he watches all types of porn. It definitely may be a case of him wanting to know things that may get him aroused as well. Did you know that it is highly arousing for a man to have his prostate stimulated during sex? Of course, straight men would never admit to this. I've noticed that people in the states are very limited in what they are willing to do sexually, and fetishes of any sort immediately label you into a taboo category- unless you're really open with yourself and your partner.
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replied April 21st, 2012
That all makes Denver. But I have a question for you. I found my bf was looking at craigslist men seeking men. I asked him about it and he lied and said there's a gay guy at work who uses his phone. Later about 2 months I snooped through his phone and found that he was talking to 2 other men on craigslist and responded to two adds for men on man action. I looked in his email and he was even going to meetup with him in a hotel but backed out last minute and said he can't make it there. When I found this I was confused betrayed hurt and upset we talked about it and he said he was curious for about a year but never acted on it he said he felt disgusted with himself and now knows that hes not bi or even attracted to other men. He sent his picture to one man but.I just don't know what to do right.now o stopped having sex with him its been 3 days which is a LONG time for us. We have always been open with eachother we been dating 5 months and been friends for 8 months. I'm not sure how to trust him again he told me he was only curious because an ex gf of his introduces some anal play and toys and he.enjoyed it. He said the fact he enjoyed.it screwed with his head and made him start thinking that made him hi or something in the sorts but he said he got it out of his system and he knows hes straight as I reinsuraned him anal play doesn't make someone gay..men have gspot there. I just don't know where to go from here help?
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replied May 25th, 2012
Sorry try to put a deep spin on it if you want. Straight men do not watch gay man on man sex ever. Obviously je is gay and trying to hide it. He over remarks on bi or gays 5o compensate and she is just a cover for society. A true straight male never kntentionally will watch man on man sex ever. Maybe a bi male but not a straight males. Like stated before straight men are disguisted by seeing it. Thats just reality. Im not judging orientation just stating realoty.
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replied November 7th, 2012
Well i'm a straight guy (37) and watch both straight and gay porn. I feel more stimulated by gay porn and have always wondered why that's so? Particularly as I don't (and I've tried) find gay sex pleasurable. Question
After reading this reply by thinkdeep "Seeing something that seems stimulating will naturally get you aroused, whether it is a man or woman doing the stimulating". I decided to see if I could tell what it was about gay porn that I felt turned on by. I now think I have the answer:
Porn and masturbation is a completely self-indulgent experience. In straight porn the emphasis is always on how the woman in the scene reacts: See how her nipples become erect, see how wet she gets from the foreplay, hear how she moans. Being self-indulgent I want to get lost in the escapism of seeing how hard a guy can get, how he can be stimulated to pre-cum, how he moans, because I WANT TO EXPERIENCE ALL THAT (not necessarily because I want to experience it with another guy).
Thank you thinkdeep that psychology course is really well taught! sunny
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replied March 2nd, 2010
Especially eHealthy
ThinkDeep, A considerable number of large research studies have been conducted in the last 10 years on sexual arousal to try and determine where arousal disorders come from and to find pharmacological products to solve arousal disorders. All of these studies delivered the same results.

The findings are almost universal - straight men are not turned on by gay porn. In women, lesbian porn and hetero sexual porn have the same effect and magnitude of arousal, leading researchers to speculate that women's sexuality is much more complex than men's.

Of course, sexual orientation is self reported in these studies and some straight men can just lie and say they are gay... And there can always be exceptions to the rules.

From a logic point of view, why will a man look at gay porn and fantasize about a woman? There is more than enough hetero porn freely available. It is like saying that I will look at granny running to the front door and fantasize about winning an Olympic gold medal based on the effort she has to make to run.....
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replied March 30th, 2010
To drumstick: You need to tell your gay friend's girlfriend about him being gay. Thats your duty as a human being. Do it for her, and do it for your friend. Be responsible about this, please.

To ThinkDeep: Off course, what you say has some truth, look at heterosexual men in prison, or sailors. Often they will all perform some form of homosexual act in such a context, but, and this is a big but, they have no choice! Clearly, the op's boyfriend has options, he has his girlfriend first, and all form of heterosexual porn available. So yea, I guess you're right by saying, simply looking at their face and figuring out if he enjoys it or not might not be the best method.

So the important thing is, do you know if he watches heterosexual porn, and whats the the frequency of one over the other. I can imagine an heterosexual looking out for porn while masturbating and stumbling upon gay porn one day, and be aroused by the actions being performed and sticking to it for one session. But if he comes back to it day after day and completely overlook women pornography, then there is a problem. If not homosexual he is at least bisexual.

Now, seriously, I see two major problem in your relationship. He looks at gay porn and he seems obsessed about gay people and you can't ask him about it without him getting "mad". The getting mad part is really curious, first he shouldn't get mad about you wanting to know this especially when clearly he watches gay porn and it makes perfect sense of you to ask. Second, so what if he gets mad, sounds to me like you are scared of him getting mad, how mad does he get. I get mad at my mom sometimes, I get mad at my friend, yet its not the kind of mad you can be afraid of, that sounds to me like abuse. When you are scared of someone getting mad, its hiding some form of abuse, either verbal or physical or both. I would seriously recommend you think over your relationship. And don't forget it happens more often then you know that a woman's boyfriend is gay and acting like he isn't.
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replied April 29th, 2010
Sad to say I''m in the same predicament as the original person posting this. I''ve dated my bf for 8 months, and we live together now. When the porn subject comes up he always says he doesn''t like watching porn, that he much rather watch erotic porn instead of all the hardcore stuff. But as of lately I have checked the history on my computer and I keep finding LOTS of porn. When it was girl porn I wasn''t to worried and did say anything. But 2 weeks ago I found gay porn, and just yesterday lots of Tranny porn. From the browsing history I can tell he likes to watch Anal Sex, but can he be watching the gay porn and tranny porn just for the anal sex or is he really in to that but he wont admitted it?
I don''t think I''m fooling myself believing he''s straight. I have many gay friends and he does not act like or bisexual at all, but I''m very confused. I too don''t want to tell him because I don''t want to embarrass him. But I just don''t know what to think or do
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replied May 27th, 2012
....
Well here is the issue...If he is into anal sex thats fine as there are millions of site online of men with women having anal sex. now if he is avoiding those and targeting male on male or male on male dressed as a woman anal sex sites then there is an issue there.A completely straight male will not and can not sit and casually watch man on man sex it just won't happen as there is no joy, arousal or other for that it is more disguist turn off and disturbing feeling..He maybe still living his own lie feeling ashamed he has gay tendencies or fears ridicul from society or family so he is forcing a straight persona to the world..Its your choice to bring it up or not but if left as a 500 lb gorilla in the room do not be mad or hurt later if you end up finding out he is gay or bi as at this point you have enough to have the right to an explanation as it is your life too and he should at least give you the respect of truth.
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replied May 2nd, 2010
Experienced User
Hi Pris27, You need to talk to him about it. Find out what is going on. Who cares if he gets embarrassed. That is his issue not yours. Unless of course you have determined that you don't care about his orientation. If you don't care then leave it alone don't talk to him about it. Just so you know no one watches tranny porn or gay porn because they are straight and into anal sex. There are tons upon tons of anal sex porn videos that are easily available. Anal sex has gained in popularity over the last few years and is more then easy to find in porn. Possibly much easier then finding tranny porn.
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replied May 2nd, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
A gay man entering a committed relationship with a woman is no less likely than a Straight man entering a committed relationship with another man. When you're attracted to one gender you don't put yourself in an obligation of monogamy with the gender you don't find attractive.

There are several reasons that people watch gay pornography, not the least of which is that they are gay, but it's also exceedingly common for people trying to process bisexual feelings to watch gay porn as an attempt to process their feelings and additionally people are curious and make mistakes.

You will know that your boyfriend is gay when you have conclusive evidence that he has engaged in sexual intercourse with men exclusively for the entirety of his life. Until then talk to him and ask what's going on.
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replied May 27th, 2012
....
Many in the closet gay men get into committed relationships with women. They even marry them and have children as a way to cover their gayness to the world as they have some fear of the stigmatism or family rejection attached to being gay. It happens alot. It is not right and these folks should be ashamed they would do that to someone else for their own selfish reasons but it does happen.
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replied June 17th, 2010
Supporter
There are gay and bisexual men who enter into a relationship with women and some have even married. They do this sometimes to try to hide the fact that they are gay because they have family or friends who they know will not except them. Just last year a politician was caught with a young boy and he was married. He came out publicly and left office after this happened. This was all over the news. To think that he is the only gay guy to marry a women is ridiculous. You should talk to him about the porn when you feel comfortable about it. I liked the suggestion of putting lesbian porn on and then gay porn so he will not feel threatened. If he is bicurious there is nothing for him to be ashamed about. Just try to open up a dialogue with him you need to know if he is having sex with other males.
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replied June 17th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
There are straight women that pretend to be dogs in hopes of winning the AKC kennel club. If you look hard enough for aberration and mental disorder you will find it. However look as long as you want you won't find gay people that engage in sexual relations with the opposite sex, although the latter is certainly a lot more possible.

If the politician you were talking about was George Rekers, he wasn't gay, he had a biological son.
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replied July 10th, 2011
oh you are so wrong i knew of many such people in college. They identified themselves as lesbians but they would trick a guy into having sex to be able to have a baby. she said she didn't like it. but i think your making a false claim.
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replied June 17th, 2010
Supporter
Just because someone has a son or daughter does not mean that they are straight. They're examples of this all around you all you have to do is look around you. I have never seen any person male or female pretend to be a dog to when the AKC kennel club so that statement was just something you pulled out of your hat. Better luck next time. When it comes to sexuality there is no cookie cutter absolutes. Keep an open mind and you may one day relize that you don't have all the answers just like the rest of the human population. Then again maybe your one of those people pretending to be that dog trying to win the AKC kennel club. If so good luck with that.
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replied June 17th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
No, if someone has a biological son or daughter they could certainly be bisexual.Homosexuals do adopt even though they often face discrimination. However, more often than not, statistically speaking, people with children are straight

The movie Bark was based on a real case of a woman that had a severe dissociative disorder that caused her to act like a dog while being rationally aware as a human. Admittedly she had no aspirations for an AKC cup but I don't doubt that sort of thing is massively more common than any human devoting years of their life through courtship, manipulating someone or co-conspiring with them to engaging in harebrained scheme, entering a legally binding contract with nebulous consequences once it's discovered that they're homosexual, all for the gain of looking straight in certain circumstances, a mean feat that could be attained by adopting a few stereotypical hetero behaviors. Like I said, if you look long and hard enough for aberration and mental disorder, you'll find it.

As far as that little snipe about me pretending to be a dog, is that considered an especially clever comment where you come from? It's certainly not appropriate so I can only assume you imagined it was a really good insult. Perhaps the fact that you know absolutely nothing about me is handicapping your ability to insult me. Maybe it would be good for you to learn more about the world you live in before you make comments. Often your posts seem to be lacking the sort of background that would be helpful in your efforts to inform or even insult others.
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replied May 16th, 2011
I have two children and as much as I want to be straight,I not. And my love of gay porn prove that to me. Plus I am a Minister.
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replied June 19th, 2010
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You are intitled to your own opinions and if you don't like my post or the content in them then just save your time and don't read them. I promise it will not hurt my fillings in anyway. I could sit her and write a response to insult you but, that is not the purpose of this site. For some reason you like to argue with people who post here that do not share your views. That is a personal problem that only you can deal with. I have never asked you anything about yourself because contrary to your beliefs I don't want to know anything at all about you. You are just a pea in the world that I can just keep doing without. I'm posting on this site to share my insites and to get others. That is my only goal you can post a reply if you feel the need but, I will not respond or even read it. Take care and may God bless you in the things you do in life.
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replied June 19th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
I'm entitled to medically proven facts.
Homosexuals don't engage in heterosexual sex.
Children are not produced by homosexual sex, not ever a whole lot of homosexual sex.
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replied June 4th, 2011
To Wolf:Wrong. I'm purebred gay man of 52 years. Last summer I was with a bisexual man who brought a girl over and I lost my hetro virginity. It wasn't a bad experience but I'll probably not repeat it.So you premise is false.
Global
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replied June 22nd, 2010
I have the same problem as the person who posted the original message. However, i confronted my boyfriend about his watching gay porn and visiting gay chat rooms.His answer is that in terms of fantasy he is aroused by gay imagery,but he was never atracted to a man in real life and that actually all sexual feelings he has ever had envolved real life women and only women. he says he views this like a game...it is exciting because it is so taboo.
Unfortunately i can't bring myself to believe this.I would really like to hear your opinions. I love him, but i don't want to spend my life living a lie.
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replied June 22nd, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
Doesn't sound like you're the one living a lie. Nor should you feel that you have to lie about anything in your relationship. If you're not able to accept that your boyfriend may be bisexual you may want to re-evaluate what you're doing in this relationship.
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replied July 3rd, 2010
straight / gay / bisexual / help me before I crack
I am the same, I with a guy for a long time now and love him very much, I always thought something wasnt right, I cant really explain, last week I checked the computer history and found gay web sites, I cried and went crazy saying to him your destoying my life let me go, and be honest with me, he refuses to admit it, and he saying he has no idea how them sites are on the computer, I kinda know deep in my heart) yet he loves women maybe hes bisexual I just dont know, he doesnt know alot about computers so I told him I can get it checked your name will come up in history if it was you he saying fine when you do that come back to me why wont he just tell me, I would just end it but I dont want to give up on the man I love if hes telling the truth how can I find out) he is never going to admit it never in a million years
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replied September 14th, 2012
dashy1

im in the same sort of situation a year and a half ago i found out my boyfriend had been on gaydar chatting to men and i found messages on the phone to a man saying he would get him hard when he got here ect... he was planning to meet a guy at the house and i didnt see the messages till months after it had happened he admitted hed had him here and changed his mind couldnt go through with it and this had also happened about 5/6 years ago at his previous residence when we wernt together but he also then could not go through with it desiding he wasnt attracted to men so i cant understand why he did it again, a few days ago i found a large amount of gay porn hed been on in his computer history and again he promised he wasnt attracted to them and wont give me a reason to why he looked at it jus saying he !**@! through it and didnt watch it properly, weve been on and off for 8 years and now have been living together for 3 years, hes my true love and he says the same to me so i dont want to lose him but i cant plan the future not knowing if we get married and have kids that he wont later leave me desiding hes gay, what do i do? i dont believe what hes saying and find it very hard to trust him, but i do know that hes only human and people get confused and also he is very self concious about women being attracted to him and blames that for the reason hes talked to men in the past because they seem very attracted to him but he said when he met them in person straight away he felt that they were peverted and he didnt feel remotely attracted to them, is he being honist with me? how can i open up the channels of communication further with him? i dont want him to feel blocked into a corner ashamed to tell me how he really feels, if any one can help me please reply thank you. kassy.
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