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Why do I love her even if she keeps on hurting me ?

So here is my story. Things I would be writing are incidents/events which occurred over a span of year. This is going to be a long post, sorry for that. But I just need someone to know what happened with me (and if possible advice me too.)

I had a girl in my high school, say X. I had feelings for her since I was 12. As she was my classmate we were only acquainted with each other. Also in my class I had a male friend, say Y. A few year later X and Y got into a relationship. I was really very very hurt. Then we got our school changed, and incidentally X and I got in the same school and class. Now being in the same school and class we became friends and eventually best friends. We would share everything with each other, were always honest, and were almost like a couple. But Y didn't like me being best friend of X (as he was still her boyfriend). So she started spreading all kind of rumors about me, always told X that I was a very bad guy, etc. But X believed me more than him so she knew that he was lying. One day X came to know (through me) that Y was cheating on her. She broke up with him but was still friends with him. After that our friendship grew more and more. As I never lied to her, she once asked me whom I love and I told her the truth. She was ok with it and would always say that I care for the the most, even more than her parents. She would always tell me how I love her the most, and would say 'Not even y loved/cared for the the way you do'. In the meanwhile Y was trying all sort of things to get her back. Things were going smooth until one day I screwed up everything. Actually I was trying to protect X but things went horribly wrong and it screwed both of us (Me and X). The mistake was so severe that X got grounded 'coz of me and was told not to talk to me (by her family). At first she was also extremely angry on me and didn't talk to me. I kept crying day and night, 'coz it seemed that I lost her. A month later she came back to me, talked to me like before and told me that she wants me back. I agreed immediately. After a week again she ended her friendship telling me that her parents don't want her to talk to any guy. I was again devastated. But she would talk to me. It was like On-Off friendship were she would talk to me nicely one day and other day she would be rude and what not... One day she called me at late night and told me that she needed her best friend. I told her that her best friend was dead (as you have killed him by doing all this drama). She then started crying like hell. I could never see a single tear in her eye and so I agreed to be her best friend again. (I told her that if she was in front of me I would have hugged her tightly and it was then she stopped crying.) A few more days passed like this and it was her birthday. I came to know that she had invited her friends and Y (now her ex-boyfriend)(the only guy she invited had in her birthday party). I was hurt 'coz she said she was my best friend yet she didn't tell me about the party, let alone inviting me. She told me that she doesn't like talking with 'guys' publicly, she always told me this thing. After her birthday she began to get rude with me, didn't ever talked properly, took my call, replied my message. Even if she did she wouldn't be nice. I don't know why was she doing it. Months passed like this and she told me one day not to call or bother her with anything again. Now its being six months that she hasn't talked to me. She even blocked me on Facebook. The only reason she gave me is that I did bad to her a year ago and she got grounded 'coz of me, so she is now taking revenge. She would snatch the best thing from me, i.e her. And she really did some nasty stuff with me. The things is I really love her a lot, and keep crying everyday for her. She really means a lot to me. Maybe she is using this fact to hurt me more, to take her revenge. She knows that she is my weakness. Also Y is trying everything to make X hate me more and more. X told me that I deserve to get punished and it would make her very happy to get/see me hurt. She even told me that my feelings for her are fake.
As I really want her to be happy, I have began punishing my self. Like I've cut off completely from my friends, gave up my cellphone, deactivated my SNS a/c and everything else I can do.
Now all I know is that Y has replaced me as her best friend.
I really don't understand why she came back to me again and again if she was so angry for my mistake. I don't know why is doing all this. And should I still keep hoping for her to return back (knowing the fact that she hasn't spoke to me a single time in last six months)
But all I just want is to be with her.

PS: I told her about Y's truth 'coz she is very innocent and I wanted to act in her best interest. I couldn't see her getting cheated by a person who thinks X is a fool and its easy to play with her emotions. Even after her breakup I always gave her a choice of leaving me for him (if she wanted). But she never did, telling me she couldn't 'afford to lose me'.

Btw I'm 18 now.
Thanks for reading this and sorry for my bad English.
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First Helper Broken_Vishal
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Users who thank Broken_Vishal for this post: Zollmaister 

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replied May 3rd, 2012
Community Volunteer
Hi Broken,

Your girl friend may be suffering from Biopolar. Do yourself a hugeeeeeee favor and let this relationship fade permantely. You are young and have your entire life ahead of you. Finish school, go to college, get involved in things that will make you a complete person for the good of man-kind. This relationship is toxic and very bad for you, let it go! When you find the person you deserve, you will see what "real" love is all about...this isn't it.

Good Luck,

Faded Rose
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