Why can't I find love?

Theres a saying that nobody can love you if you dont learn to love yourself first..and that is something very true.perhaps you try too hard or come accross as desperate?girls can sense that a mile away and it can be a huge turn off or maybe ure a bit insecure?not comfortable with yourself?so what if ure a geek!geeks can be good looking too!just look at seth from the oc lol!my advice is to not go out looking for it-it happens when you least expect it,i know it sounds cliche but its true.meanwhile,ure still young!go out,have fun meet new friends!good luck!

Yes, I totally agree with your reply and that's true nobody can love you if you dont learn to love yourself first.You need patients in any relation.

Thanks

Hi lonelysoulhere.....and welcome to ehealth...firstly i agree with Lizze about loving yourself.....And not coming over to desperate!.........Go out more relax don't just go out to look for a girlfriend because they will sense that in you.....Just have a good night.....Have a laugh and you will soon find one....You got your life ahead of you yet ...Good luck....Jenny

your lonely and that is a human emotion. you are young, and being shy and staying at home isnt going to get you any where.

the more your out socializing the higher of a chance you have in meeting someone.
all women dont like thug type guys, my b/f a geek and i love em.

do you have a myspace page, facebook etc. this is one way to meet friends. you have to put yourself out there.

Geeks are cute and smart. i find shyness irresistible, actually~
all women are different

i cant find love also! my x-girl told me she loved me and then started sleeping with a co-worker! and im trying to go out and meet women in public and on date sites,but no luck!! im a ok looking guy and im funny its just wierd!!! no luck!!!! i kinda want to die!!! i loved her so much!! and im so lonley its been 6 months and no woman to give my heart too.

lonelysoulhere
You haven't talked much about how you approach women but I'm smelling a lot of nice and shy coming off of you from your post. Nice and shy are great qualities for women, they tend to drive guys wild but they absolutely kill men when it comes to dating. Also you haven't mentioned how you're going about meeting women. finding someone is hard work. You have to put yourself out there and meet single women.

im still chasing my x girl. why cant i stop?

I understand your predicament. I''m male and quite a bit older than you and I''ve never managed to find long-term love either. At times it''s hard to bear especially when I meet someone and try to get things going and then run into a brick wall. They say you have to give love in order to receive it and I''ve given plenty. The last woman I met got me interested and then told me she was married after a few months. I''ve been through nightmares like this so many times. I think that finding love depends on how closely one follows mainstream social behaviour. Also upbringing is crucial in developing the normal set patterns of making someone interested. If you give them anything out of the ordinary they can''t find reference points and eventually lose interest through confusion. Life is pretty simple really and not for the overtly thoughtful. Remember this and try like hell to just feel (don''t think). And never agree to be just a ''friend'' with a woman you love. It always leads to pain. I know because I''ve done it. In fact I think I''ve spent half my life in unrequited love situations. As a rule of thumb, if you find it easy to get into relationships (and stay in them) all is fine with the world. If you find it next to impossible theres really no answer. It''s just the way the dice of life fall. And like me you may never know why things don''t work out.

OMG, Ginger_Craig - You sound like my twin! I agree with 99.99% of what you said. But, I also think a lot of it also has to do with what type of women are you going for, lonelysoul.
Are you going for the "bad-girl" types cause they look dangerous and hot? Or the demure types who look unassuming but exciting nonetheless. I think a lot of us in this type of situation, tend to go for women who are NOT good for us, but we do it because we let our passions speak for us.
While, there is nothing wrong with that per se- we tend to forget who these women are, fall for them and then hope that they will change and value us because we "love" them.
But, this is the girl who may have also said at some point, that she doesn''t believe in love - or that your relationship was "for now" not "forever".
I think one of the biggest problem with people like us, is that we choose erroneously and tend to blind ourselves from the truth. Nine out of ten, women will show you what kind of person they are - its up to us to pay close attention, and realize it.

you guys are idiots. who cares about love? LOVE IS ALL FAKE!!!! its in your imagination dont you get you'll never find LOVE!!!!!

I feel exactly the same....have you found anything that has changed this feeling for you?

I'm in the same boat as you but i'm 30.

It's been my experience that women are attracted to looks and status. What your going to have to do is make yourself more attractive, and project and image of status. If you can't pull that off then your up a creek without a paddle.

Women will tell you a lot of things about confidence and personality. but a womens not going to give a hoot about a guy who projects confidence with no status and they arent going to care about a guy with personalty who has no looks.

however, there are plenty of women who will date a guy with personality flaws. namely the guys who are jerks, or ones they claim deserves a second chance. which btw, is a big hint that he has a personality flaw.

Your 18 years old so you have plenty of time to figure this out. don't listen to women because they will have you running circles and never finishing the race.

I wish i was your age. i can't be dating 20 year olds at my age, and most of the girls i could date are all married. The few in their mid 20's i could date are more concerned with chasing the guys they've always liked who have never gotten married due to fear of commitment.

@Mark 30. The cynicism and insecurity in your post leaps off the page at me because I see my old self in you. I woke up at 36 after a LTR ended and felt that life had passed me by and that my chances of finding my true love were slim. At my lowest point the only thing I had going for me was that I believed that I deserved a chance at happiness. I channeled the pain and loneliness into a 2 yr journey of self discovery, humility and change. I wrote in a journal my thoughts, dreams, dissappointments, fears and hopes. After many failures, endless frustration, dissappointments and lonliness I finally found my place, accepted myself for who I was and no longer judged my selfworth by my status. It was this point when, without knowing it, I had become very attractive to women and began to easily get dates and even be pursued by women. This weekend I was looking at rings for the love of my life whom I am head over heals in love with. The last entry in my journal reflects where I have been and where I am now. It reads: "There was a time in my life that I didn't believe some of my dreams would ever come true. Fortunately for me, those dreams never stopped believing in me." Good luck in life and love!

it is the women that play very hard to get, which makes it difficult meeting a good woman today. women just like to tease, and many of them cannot even act right with a man. i have to blame the women today for this one, since many of them are very nasty and have a very bad attitude problem today.

you should love yourself first. keep you look good. have a sunny smile.

Just because he isn't able to find someone doesn't mean he doesn't love himself. That is a load of BS. Don't be afraid to be yourself. If you are a geek, then be a geek. Not being afraid of who you are exemplifies that you love yourself. The best idea is to seek things you like to do, but in a social environment. You like Star Trek? Visit a State Trek convention and mingle. You will be amaze the chemistry between two people when they are able to talk about something they both love.

finding love again for a straight man like me is very hard again, especially after a divorce. with so many low life women out there now, well it certainly adds to the problem. and i was a very good loving and caring husband that never mistreated her at all, and she cheated on me with another woman. so i can say i have a right to be bitter, don't you think?.

Can't say I haven't felt like you do topic writer. I beg to differ though on people never finding love. It's
different for everyone and your only 18 you say. You
have lots of time yet. Don't give up.