Because to them, getting married and having kids to them is the way to live. and the only way they know how to do so.

To them, a life without kids is unknown to them, and others without kids are seen odd.
since they all have kids, and feel the wonderful joys of being a parent and know ow rewarding it is to be a parent, it is odd to hear one say they are not planning on having any kids, because this is the lifestyle they have grown fond of.

For them to judge you like that is not right, and it seems that they are just too high and mighty with themselves.
Im a parent to a 5 month old, but i do not criticize others who aren't having kids, 1 because im a 19 year old mother and quite a few of my friends range in the same age group, and 2 because i know kids are not for everyone. its stressful being a parent and raising kids, and some people might not be ready to do so. This might be the best decision for yourself and your wife, and im sure you both live amazing fun exciting lives, and might not be able to be doing the things you do now if children enter your lives.

Don't let what they are saying eat you up inside. you know how you and your wife feel, and you know how happy you both are with your choice right now. dont let their comments get to you, because remember they dont know the joys of being a childless couple! they dont have the freedom to get up and go on a romantic holiday with their wife whenever they feel like it, because the thought of who will watch the kids enters their mind. they cant just get up and go out to a romantic one on one dinner with their wife when they please because usually the children tag along behind them. and although to them these things may be a joy and wonderful to do as family, they will never understand how it feels to be a happy childless couple. this is the way they do things, and anyone else not doing this is seen as crazy.
its just the way society has brainwashed.
get married. get a house. have kids.

you might change your mind, you might not.
but dont question your way of doing things because other people are too stubborn to realize there are other ways of living life to the fullest that dot include having children.

If the topic comes up again...politely tell the nosey body(ies)that you answered the question the first time and the answer is still the same.

It is a personal choice that you and your spouse have chosen.

Hopefully they will leave you alone...if not, then that can be considered harrassment.

I get this as well. Just the other day, as a matter of fact. I just explain that "well, you know how you want(ed) kids, imagine feeling the opposite. That's how I feel about it". Smile, and a wink. Usually works.

I get really iffy about this subject, I have kids but I have respect for the childless folk.

It seems that half the population can't understand how you can live without kids but then criticize your parenting when you do have them.

"woman are womans own worst critics."

I get criticized because woman don't understand how I don't have that magical "mothering/nurturing ability." Some don't understand why I have such a strong desire to work or go to school.

You are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

We get it on our side too, I get criticized for my housecleaning skills, it rather annoying, probably why I hang out with more guys ~!

Good luck and serious if they continue drop a comment like I guess you needed kids to fulfill your purpose.

I have never been happier than I am now that I am a mother, but I would never, ever want someone who doesn't want children to have them. I think there are too many people having children that shouldn't and if someone has enough self awareness to know that they do not want children and are able to prevent it then more power to them. I would be offended if those people criticized me for being a mother or gave me a hard time about it in some way. I guess people just don't think about things before they open their mouths. They probably didn't mean anything bad by it but they should really be more open minded.

I agree with kaerbear....You know to me it is whatever floats your boat, what you do in your personal lives whether you want kids or dont....some people just have to stick their noses in where it doesn't belong, and think that their opinions are going to change your mind. I hope you and your husby have a happy and healthy marriage:)


*katie*

Thanks, I don't think I'll be at this job much longer anyways, the last week and half has been hell. The two women I'm having problems with pretty much call the shots, the other three women in my office go along with them. The two main problem makers are both former drug users/wildchild types who found Jesus and became born again Christians. I have no problems problems with them being religious, my problem is that they feel that their lifestyle is the only acceptable lifestyle to live and everyone else has to follow it, if by force so be it. I havn't told them that I don't believe in God but I have admitted to having been raised Catholic. So now, besides the whole anti-childfree rants I'm getting, I'm also getting the "the Pope and Catholics are the devil" rant. Last Friday I found a bunch of tracts on my chair they left for me outlining why the Catholic religion is evil and more about evils of contraceptives and steralization. I'm really glad that my husband is finally getting is vasectomy next month, cause the idea of people like them in charge scare the crap out of me. It's really sad because they are minority, pretty much every devoted Christian I've ever known has been nothing but kind, generous people.

I'm pretty much done, I'm going to give my two week notice and return to school full time for my BA and get ready to take the CPA examine. One advantage of our lifestyle is that my husband has a stable job and while money will be tight, we can still afford to pay all of our bills on just his salary.

if someone was leaving religious literature on my chair at work I would so report them for harrassment. no one should have to put up with that at work. even if I was leaving anyway, i think i would let the supervisor or someone know because they might be doing that to other people. i'm glad you don't hold it against all christians because i would never do that to a coworker and i don't know many people that would.

Kaerbear is right though, report it!!

Religion should not be in the workplace at all, no offence but I disagree on it in any public environment (more so the pushing part.)

Kaerbear you would be surprized at how many Christians do what she's talking about, not to say all but alot do, unfortunatly.

Thanks for the advice but I talked to my supervisor last week and he's good friends with the main troublemaker's husband, so no help from him. He pretty told me to "think about what their saying", he's also a big bible thumper.

The owner is the only person above him but he's not around, his wife recently gave birth and he's been on leave the whole time (their baby has some medical problems and the wife is getting over a difficult pregnancy). He stops in to check on stuff but I doubt I'll be able to get a chance to schedule a meeting. Plus from what little I understand, he's big into church stuff. Not saying that he won't care or act like their behavior is okay, but based on everything I've seen at this company, I not holding my breath that things will get better.

I'm just going to quit, I know that I have a good case to file a discrimation charge, mostly because of the Catholic bashing. I don't want to though, one I'm not Catholic anymore and I would feel weird suing because of the whole Catholic thing. Their is no employment protection due to not having children, the discrimation laws only protects those with children. I just don't have money for a lawyer or want to go though the emotions of a trial. I'm not exactly mentally stable and anything stressful needs to be avoided. These last two weeks have been hell on me, I've lucky that I have my own office where I can hide when I'm having panic attacks, but sooner or later I'm going to break down in front of everyone and that will create a even bigger mess. I havn't been able to sleep or eat, I keep having chest pain and I feel nausous all the time. Quitting is just better for my mental health versus trying to fight it and sent more time in hostile enviroment.

I called in sick today and tomorrow I'm going to call and tell them I'm done. I was just waiting for my check for the first week to get into my bank account to keep them from holding it and then claiming something like I told them the wrong bank account to deposit it in.

Thanks for everyone's kind words, I just wish my choice was more accept in the real word like it is here.

I think thats a personal choice between you and your significant other and it shouldn't matter what you decide...there are MANY people out there that CHOOSE to live a single life..why? because they enjoy their independence they dont WANT to get married they have no interest in it, its a life style choice..just as you and your husband have chose not to have kids..so long as it was discussed and there is a mutual agreement between you and your spouse then its really no one elses business, you two are happy and thats all that matters...

I get the feeling that someone was an only child because they were unwanted and resented from the jump and thus wants to save everyone else from the horrible mistake their own parents made. Just the feeling I'm getting.

I totally agree with you kaerbear. No one should be shot down for having a child, if nobody COULD or wanted to have children human life on this planet would end within 110 years if the last person living lasts that long. Many childcare, childbirth and toddler/infant/baby/pre schooelr clothes, toys, entertainer industries and related profesisonals would be out of work within 5 years, school teachers and teen oriented industries, professions and professionals would be out of work within 20. Future scientists, chemists, doctors, lawyers, teachers, preachers, etc would never get the chance to exist and enlighten the world. Thats a lot of unemployed hungry broke frustrated adults, doesn't look like a very happy world to me.

If everyone had children the world would be overpopulated everyone couldnt get a job there would be more hungry and homeless people more criminals, more lawlessness more frustration.

There is BALANCE when people have choice and those choices are respected. Either extreme (NO BREEDING EVER!!! or EVERYBODY MUST HAVE LOTS OF CHILDREN OR BE SOULESS!!) is horrible and deplorable.

I know the "breeder" comment is under review, I saw it last night but didn't have time to reply. Not sure if that person is still watching this thread or not but if you are, I have one thing to say, quit the breeder crap. Childfree individuals will never get respect for our lifestyle choices by alienating those with children. "Breeder", "Moo" and other insults do little to help us out and make everyone who has decided to follow childfree lifestyle look like self centered jerks. Children are a part of our society, just because some individuals like myself have decided not to have them, doesn't mean we don't have to interact in a world full of them. If we, as childfree people want respect, we in turn have to give it to those who have decided to have children. Lower ourselves to the level as those who put our decision down is pointless and counter-productive.

I agree. I'm not anti-child, I just don't have any interest in having my own. If I change my mind in the future, then whatever, but I get sick of other women thinking that I am insane / weird / crazy / wrong for not wanting children.

I don't know what it is some women see as so weird about it but I'm guessing its because they have / desperately want children and can't understand why another woman would not feel the same way.

Women should not have to justify their choice to reproduce or not to reproduce because I believe at the end of the day, it's none of their business, unless they are your partner, boy/girlfriend or spouse.

I've been wondering if the parents that give childfree people the most trouble do so because they aren't satisfied with their own choices in life. The most content parents I've met rarely needle me about my own reproductive choices, while the ones that are constantly yelling at their kids or complaining that they're ready to go mad (then conveniently adding what a blessing the wee ones are and gushing about how they wouldn't change things for the world) seem to take it as a personal insult when others-particularly females-electively choose not to reproduce.

Insisting that they know my mind better than I do only serves to make me dig my heels in further. My uterus doesn't rule me and neither do primitive instincts to perpetuate my crappy genetics. The harpies that give us such a hard time can't seem to comprehend that sticking their fingers in their ears and reapeating: "you'll change your mind...la, la, la," over and over again won't assimilate us into their borg collective.

Please Note: I am not referring to ALL parents in this little rant. There are certain types of parents that have given me a harder time than others over the years and those are the sort like the OP mentioned and the kind that some refer to as "breeder" or "breeder-brains". Naturally, there is a difference between these pests and reasonable parents.

Heck, sometimes even the decent ones have their moments. I've had two of my oldest friends wish an unwanted pregnancy on me before, because they were so gung-ho over the quaint fantasy of our kids growing up together the way we did.

Friend #1: "Maybe you'll wake up pregnant tomorrow."

Me: "Maybe you'll wake up barren tomorrow. Fair is fair."

Friend #2: "You never know...you could have an accident. I think it would be great."

Me: "Why, does the thought of me having an abortion make you happy? Because that's the first thing I'd do if I had an 'accident'."

Even friends can't seem to get it through their thick skulls sometimes.

I think, for myself, more often than wishing kids on people who don't want them, I am looking at people who already have kids and wishing they had chosen to remain childless (only half kidding.)

Like the people who live across the back lane from us; they are constantly screaming at their kids and swearing at them and at each other. Their kids just laugh at them while I cover my daughter's ears. I'm not even sure how many kids they have because they don't stay put for five seconds in a row. I think they have four. I just don't understand why some people keep having more when they learn after the first couple that they don't have a great temper or a loving relationship or oodles of patience. I know that one child is enough for me. I love children and would love to have more but I KNOW that one is what I can handle without turning into the lady across the lane who seems to be going out of her mind on a daily basis.

Some people absolutely refuse to abort. Just as some will abort in ANY situation no mater how healthy, how married, how wealthy, how mentally and emotionally stable they will abort, no question. Some will never abort, no question. It's their choice. M grandmother and grandfather had 14 children and were the most patient people I had the blessing of knowing in my entire life. I know people without children who have caused car accidents because their impatience and road rage took them over the edge in an instance. It all depends on your limits. She may have only considered her values and not her actual self in deciding to have more children than she had the patience for or her children could be unruly. Unruly children exist just as unruly adults exist. I have compassion for people who have more children than society thinks they should be having (nose in other people's uteruses anyone?)who do not abuse them.