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Why am i never happy, even on my medication?

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No matter what I do, I always feel stressed out, worried, depressed and angry. Even when I take my medication, I still feel the same way. I have had my boyfriend for 3 years and I love him to death, but I keep pushing him away. I always feel like I don't deserve him and that any given day he will find someone prettier, funnier, just all out better then me. I am also so down on myself. I make negative comments a lot and a lot of the times they just pop out. I can't control these negative thoughts. I never want to be with friends or my family. I don't do my community service for court. I quit my job because I couldn't handle it anymore, I would freak out at times. I don't want to eat. Most days, it's hard for me to even get up and grab a glass of water. I just lay in my bed and cry. Sometimes, I get very angry too. People will say the something even slightly rude and I will freak out and start having a breakdown. I feel broken all the time, 24/7. I am ready to be happy.
Now could this possibly be from my drug addiction I used to have? It was 2 years ago and I don't know if I could still be affected from that or not. But i just really need some advice, because I am slowly just getting worse and worse every day.
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replied March 31st, 2011
It's not just you
You are not alone. I understand totally. I don't think I'll ever be happy-even on meds. I'm just different, sad, and i to push people away. sigh,...I understand believe me.
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replied August 18th, 2011
Needed to get that out
I sooo agreee. Everything just feels boring and i envy everyone else for things that i could do if i had enough energy to do it i feel tired and depressed. I cant get over this girl i like 2 years ago now 2 years later i still am not. The one thing that helps is just a happy care free song but even that is like a single moment of bliss.
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replied August 18th, 2011
Community Volunteer
Your medication isn't going to make you happy...That is up to you...There are so many interesting things to do in life that I wouldn't waste a minute thinking of your yesterday...Spend your time learning new things...Visit a museum...Check out the books in a library...Don't spend your time in yesterday, find a new today...Take care...

Caroline
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replied December 9th, 2012
life has always sucked for me i have been on depression meds of all types started about 15 i am now 52 no matter what they put me on it just does not really work at all the feelings are still their the meds just mask the promblem doesnt fix it i try doing different things and just start getting borde with it i really do hate this life i am stuck inside this what i call jail this useless body my sprit and soul are in
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replied December 9th, 2012
life has always sucked for me i have been on depression meds of all types started about 15 i am now 52 no matter what they put me on it just does not really work at all the feelings are still their the meds just mask the promblem doesnt fix it i try doing different things and just start getting borde with it i really do hate this life i am stuck inside this what i call jail this useless body my sprit and soul are in
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