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Whpy does my husband masterbate in his sleep? (Page 1)

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This has been happening for sometime that I have been woking up by him playing with himself he has no idea that it does on. So I have to get him up to clean his mess up. It makes me sick I don't know what to do.
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First Helper Fun4U
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replied August 7th, 2008
Re:Whpy does my husband masterbate in his sleep?
Did your husband know about it? have u talked to him? it is strange i can suggest somthing:
Your husband should use a kind of trouser or shorts( whaterver he wear before coming to bed) which dont have elastic just , it should also has string ( such trousers are common and usually trousers do have) and he shouldtie such knott that cannot easily un-tiedable.
I am quite sure it will work and if it does do reply in this forum.
Good Luck
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replied August 8th, 2008
SBS aka SleepSex
Hey there:

I recently had a giant issue where my wife was masturbating while we were both in bed. At first she insisted I was making it up or imagining it... She said she would never do something like that and at first I didn't believe her. However she was absolutely insistent that she wasn't doing it... but she WAS!

Thats how I found this board. I was looking for help and feedback.

Anyway, I was Googling around and I found out about something called "SBS" a.k.a. Sleepsex. Its like Sleepwalking, not very many people do it, but it happens. The person doing it is asleep and isn't aware they are doing it and they won't remember it the next day.

For some people who have it it is light self-touching (like my wife), others full on Masturbation... for some people they actually have sex with their partners. Often their partners say they are "not like themselves" in that they are more/less aggressive or do / don't do things that they normally would during sex.

I talked to a friend of mine and apparently his wife has always done it. For my wife it is a new thing. If it is new, it can be brought on by stress, life changes, drugs/alcohol or other stressors.

All you can do is talk to him about it and let him know you aren't offended by it and you don't take it personally. If you are offended and you DO take it personally, work it out and get over it. He can't help it... like sleepwalking. Find out if he's under any new stress or maybe going through a midlife crisis or if something else is going on and then help him through it.

For my wife it was a stressful pregnancy. She doesn't do it anymore.

I wouldn't recommend the "tie his pants" approach. I would think it would result in anger and frustration, even when he's asleep. At best I think he would just try and do it "through" the pants and end up with friction burns.

Hope this helps.
Ouroborous
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replied August 8th, 2008
experimental advice
This is a physological problem, that ur husband do it un-consiously. I recommended "tie pent hard" coz i have been involved in this habit for some time, i found that when i am in loose trouser i do masturbate(penis in hands) un-consiously but whenever i m in tie-up toruser or in a jeans pent , i dont masturbate. My hand dont have easy access to Masturbate. I have been involved in that habit for a little time then this simple trick worked out for me.
Just ask ur husband, if he convinces,do that. i dont know it will work 100% as it worked to me.
phycatrist consultaion can be help but it is a extreme approach. Just do this simple experiment.
Take Care
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replied August 10th, 2008
Why does my husband masterbate in his sleep
thanks for the input there have been night that he had on like srubs pants. But i seen that he stained them. I even asked him to masterbate befor he goes up to bed if I cann't help. It makes me feel like he just thinking of someone else. But there alot of times we fight couse he gets it all over the sheets. I am going to suggest he see a doctor.
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replied August 10th, 2008
I don't see what the problem is, so what if he masturbates, so what if he thinks of someone else, he could be in someone elses bed and having sex with them, but he isn't, he is with you.
The human body is a complex thing, and we will never completely understand it. don't let YOUR insecurites and hang ups become HIS problem. Just make it clear that he can clean up the mess!
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replied August 13th, 2008
It is not a normal thing. if it is frustrating u , u should consult a doctor. Dont be harsh to your husband as he did this in his unconsiousness. i suggest to make him convince that he is normal but he should better consult doctor possilbly phycatrist. DO it at earliest.
Take care.
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replied August 15th, 2008
check my previous post...

"SBS" a.k.a. Sleepsex. Its like Sleepwalking, not very many people do it, but it happens. The person doing it is asleep and isn't aware they are doing it and they won't remember it the next day.

If it is new, it can be brought on by stress, life changes, drugs/alcohol or other stressors.

All you can do is talk to him about it and let him know you aren't offended by it and you don't take it personally. If you are offended and you DO take it personally, work it out and get over it. He can't help it... like sleepwalking. Find out if he's under any new stress or maybe going through a midlife crisis or if something else is going on and then help him through it.

If it is being brought on by stress, a counselor may be appropriate.
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replied August 15th, 2008
Experienced User
sounds suspicious to me, inorder to masturbate it takes conscious effort, you need to ask him what the deal is. i love the action myself but never has it been done while asleep. now if he's having wet dreams (nocturnal emissions) that's something else.
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replied January 15th, 2010
My husband also masturbates in his sleep
My husband also masturbates in his sleep, and sometimes continues when he wakes up. I have talked to him about it and it doesn't seem to matter to him that it bothers me. I love him with all my heart, but we have only been married a few months and I have just noticed this habit over the last month or so. he says it has nothing to do with me and he says he's not thinking of anyone else but when I try to touch him at these times he pushes me away. I am really starting to take it to heart and most nights can't sleep because of it. How do I get over it, should I be trying to get over it or should he really be seeing a doctor?
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replied February 10th, 2010
In response to "angelhellfire66"
angelhellfire66- Wow that's serious. In any kind of relationship, if a party has a concern or problem with the others behavior or action then it is a topic up for discussion. You should really have him consult a doctor. This could be stress do to the marriage or could be deeper. You really have to break through to him first. Talk to him casually and bring it up over meal or before you go to bed. Just talk casually and work that question into the mix.

Also, from what you know about him, examine his behavior patterns before you got together and before the marriage. Was he with many women? Did he have low self esteem when it came to sex? How old is he, and could his age link to his sex drive and cause him to be sexually frustrated? Is he doing this to prevent him from cheating or giving you an unpleasant sexual experience? Is this a habit based on Porno? How much do you have sex? How does it end? Is he satisfied? Was he in a close relationship before hand? Really think of the issue from all angles. Now if its none of this and he just does it to do it, it might be something a doctor will have to intervene in to shed light on the problem at hand.

Whatever it turns out to be, I wish you luck and all the Best.
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replied February 10th, 2010
Extremely eHealthy
angelhellfire66
I think you may be overcomplicating the issue with sex. It's not that he's masturbating in his sleep and when he wakes he conintues or that it makes you feel poorly. The problem is that when you attempt to form a bridge of intimacy with him in these cases, his reaction is to pull away. There are a lot of problems men have sexually that they cannot get around where masturbation serves an function that intimacy with a partner does not adequately replace, however none of them are an excuse for being inconsidderate to someone you love.

You two need to sit down away from the bedroom and have a discussion about why he won't accept your help in taking care of that part of his sex life. Listen to his reasoning and explain how you feel about that and work together to find a way to meet both of your needs.
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replied August 2nd, 2010
my boyfriend has started to masturbate in his "sleep" and i find it very hard to deal with as it not like we have a bad sex life in any way and am also due to give birth in 14weeks.
I have told him and he thinks that i make it up but i have got it in my mind that he knows what he his doing .. please help dont no what to do
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replied August 10th, 2010
my husband is currently having this problem too, i have done hours upon hours of research on it. you seriously need to take him to the doctors, you or anyone in the house could be in trouble, there are reports of men and women, abusing their wifes, husbands and even children! and when they wake they are none of the wiser, this is a serious disorder and should be sorted out as soon as possible for yours and other peoples saftey. its frightening i know i have 2 bays in my house, just be carefull and if he starts masterbaiting or touching you WAKE HIM UP!
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replied August 12th, 2010
Experienced User
hey guys, i do masturbate too when my wife is asleep...maybe its something that like a disorder...how can we prevent it?
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replied July 3rd, 2011
why my husband masturbates in his sleep?
my husband and i have been living together for almost a year now and recently i just started waking up to him masturbating next to me it made me so mad that he would be doing that right next to me and then after a couple of times of catching him doing it i realized he was asleep while he was doing it, i asked him about it and he said i was crazy that he would never do that next to me, we have sex very often when ever he wants it he gets it kinda deal. it makes me so uncomfortable that i started sleeping in our guest bedroom..he wont go see a doctor is there anything i can do?
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replied March 21st, 2012
my husband masterbates in his sleep
I call bull crap, my husband Denys he ever masterbates.....like as in never. I know he has done it, I know he is doing it, but what is really crazy is he never ever finishes.....there is no mess to be cleaned up. this is why I call bull crap in my situation, I actually think he is awake because he has went to great lengths to see if i'm sleeping before he started doing it! he has pulled my hair, he has nudged me, he has slapped my arm, he has even elbowed me pretty hard and after doing this he starts playing with him self. I have rolled over and asked him what the heck he thinks he's doing and then he gets all huh, what, what are you talking about. he has even woke me up by him rubbing me through my panties, or groping my breasts. I am sorry for those of you that really have this problem....but there are guys like my hubby who have found out about this and are just using it so their wife doesn't get ticked at him.which is crap. y not grow a pair and just admit you masterbate.....i don't get it why lie that is what ticks me off more than anything, why is it so hard to admit that he plays with himself. I am very confused by the whole thing! I have even told hIM I play with my self when he has been at work and the urge was there, I was thinking he would feel more comfortable hearing me say and then he could tell me no that isn't what happened at all , I got told that he does it when I have my period like 2 times during that week. I don't know what is going on we have been together for 4 yrs. and married for 2 of those 4 yrs. any suggestions, i'd really like to sleep in bed with my hubby again but with all the craziness I refuse.
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replied March 27th, 2012
Deal with it
My husband does this quite often. He is definitely asleep. He periodically snores while doing it. Herr's the deal ladies....we've been to counseling for other reasons and I asked about it because it's been going on over 5 years now...GET OVER IT! Or wake him up and finish it up. Quit with your own insecurities and know it's not personal, even if he's awake.
It's perfectly normal.
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replied May 25th, 2014
Yep definitely agree! Smile I find it kinda cute lol and ofter join in and wake him up hehe....the only part that gets to me is the rocking of the bed in the wee hours of the morning...but I find if I just wiggle around he tends to move aswell and stop.
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replied April 24th, 2012
Jerking off while I'm right next to him in bed
My boyfriend just started doing this with me selling right next to him. He prefers to jerk off instead of have sex with me since he says it's too much work and jerking off is easier. To me this is something you do when you don't have a partner. He also watches a lot of porn. Our sex life sucks, my needs are not being met and now I have masterbate to be satisfied. I've fou d him constantly playing with his penis and in bed I try to join in and just groans and rolls onto his belly like I interrupted and he's going back to sleep. I find it hard to believe he's always asleep... Fake snoring while jerking off.
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replied May 9th, 2012
Experienced User
"He prefers to jerk off instead of have sex with me since he says it's too much work and jerking off is easier."

ok, HUGE RED FLAG!!!!!! he cares more about his porn and masturbating than being with you??? This screams dump him and get someone who is AT LEAST as concerned with your pleasure as his own.

Personally, I don't care if I ever have another orgasm so long as I can please my wife. Of course, it would be best if we could both have pleasure.
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replied April 26th, 2012
It's better to take your husband to see a doctor with you. And also you need ask for a psychologist.
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