Okay lets clear things up, first off I don't want sympathy!!!! I was separated, its an inbetween so technically to some I am married and to other I am not but its a very thin line to most people.

Happy? Where did I evere right that I was unhappy with my life in general, I think life has different catergories and I'm quite happy with other aspects of life, you have already judged me because I am unhappy with one aspect. unfortunatly, in life people don't always get their way do they? The difference is thatI accept it but this little voice in me says that a uterus doesn't make you super mom or something other than a human being (of equal status.)

So if half the population knew that childbearing was a choice would they have kids? I say its a percentage that pretty much balances out on its own.

Where? You said the bad outweighs the good, I said that doesn't sound happy to me. I don't know anyone who is happy in a situation where the bad outweighs the good. You said that about two aspects of your life, your marriage and motherhood. I didn't say you were a bad person I simply said that there are ways you can change it, someone accused me of not having empathy and I said there are things you could do to change your bad outweighs the good situation altogether. I save my empathy and sympathy for those who absolutely can not. If I experienced more bad than good with motherhood and felt coerced into it I'd have to step away from that situation because its best for me and the other people in it (the children) that I step away. What you are doing is up to you and your business, I didn't ask you about your life you put it out here I commented on it. If you want to preach NOT asking for sympathy start by addressing your self proclaimed emotion protector who felt the need to point out a lack of "sympathy" on my part as if you aren't woman enough to address it yourself. You're not a child if you didn't like it I figured YOU would address it, don't come at me sideways because someone else felt the need to defend you in a situation where you clearly did not feel the need to be defended.

Unfortunately for sexually active men childbearing isn't a choice, it comes as a stipulation of being sexually active with someone who decided to make him a parent by keeping the baby. Same goes for childlessness, a woman can easily get an abortion and not tell her bf or husband because she knows he wants a child. I just read such a story on the medical abortion forum where a woman was with her longtime bf of 15 years had abortion and didn't tell him about the pregnancy because he might want to keep it. That happens far less often than keeping a baby a man would pay to have aborted or rather not ever see in his life.

Clearly I worded it in an offensive way, Phenicks. I only meant that women who did everything according to what they wanted most don't easily emphasize with women that were put under pressure to do things according to traditions. If it makes you feel better, I can't fully emphasize with you because our goals are completely different. Walking in someone else's shoes is hard and it's easier to find common ground with someone that shares some of the same feelings as yourself.

I didn't mean to be offensive. I lean toward the blunt side when I'm discussing things like this and unfortunately, what I've witnessed in my time here on planet Earth is that some of women's worst critics are other women. Motherhood and parenting issues tend to set a lot of them at one another's throats more often than not. Childfree vs. Parents is a scenario I'm all too familiar with and I've spent most of my life battling mothers that INSIST I'll change my mind about having children and insinuate that something's wrong with me if I don't.

Look at the breastfeeding issue. I've seen "prochoice" women say some really awful things to mothers that don't breastfeed, even if there are medical reasons behind it. On the flipside, mothers that breastfeed in public are shamed as well. If you spank you're abusive, if you don't you're permissive and so on and so forth. Some of the loudest and most aggressive critics on how women handle their pregnancies and raise their offspring are other women.

Women can be just as sexist toward their own gender as men, too. The Ann Coulters and Sarah Palins of the world are just the tip of the iceburg.

I wouldn't blame any mother for being a she-devil when it comes to protecting her own offspring and doing what she feels is best for them but I do find it disturbing how often I see mothers verbally attacking other mothers for doing things they don't agree with. I think women have enough pressure from society without being constantly at each other's throats.

And I agree, which is why I find it offensive when blanket statements are made without any proof at all to the contrary. If you're usuing stats as a basis or proof of other things that may insinuate or be used as a sort of social science "context clue" if you will then fine. but outright blanket statements that are negative are things that I find offensive.

Although we do things differently I can totally understand someone not doing things the way I did. I've said before on here that on the grand scale of things my choices in life made a lot of sense for my situation. I married a man who adores me and my ambition his family is extremely supportive. My village for my son is my family and his, for us there is no such thing as not having a babysitter when we need one. A woman married to a man whose family is NOT very supportive or not married at all and would be doing it on her own is in a very different place altogether than where I am and I can understand that and any choices she make as a result of those circumstances. But what I don't like is when she can't understand why or at minimum not badmouth my choices as if her situation and my situation are completely identical. Thats where things go wrong. The breastfeeding mommy who stays home cant understand why someone who would have to spend at least 2 work hours pumping wont make that sacrifice for her child. I most certainly can understand both sides but I don't understand their anger or frustration toward the other.

And thank you for addressing my post with eloquence. I do appreciate it and like I said though we make different choices I can certainly respect yours.