when I try to eat bad thoughts pop into my mind...

First off, that is terrible for your ex to call you fat when you are pregnant, he sounds like a real winner. To me this sounds like it could be a few different things. First off, how can you feel grossed out by your appearance because you just had a child ...clearly the extra weight does not just fall off once the baby comes out. =P You made a miracle you should have been proud of yourself. Anyways, you are not going to have much of an appetite compared to before when you were eating for two. I am not surprised at all that you can't consume a lot to eat, especially if you have water weight. I would not worry about that to much. However, you mentioned depression. Have you actually been diagnosed with depression? While it very well could be depression you are trying to cope with, it could also be that you are stressed, worn down, emotionally drained and perhaps are dealing with anxiety. All of these issues can easily affect your appetite. When people are under a lot of stress or if they have anxiety or depression, they can not change eating habits one bit, may seem as if they are eating more then usual, and still sometimes will not gain weight but instead lose weight, sometimes even a significant amount. My thoughts are that you have gone through a lot lately and while you are under a lot of stress mentally and emotionally, your body has also take a hard hit. My boyfriend broke up with me after a few years of fating and I did not see it coming at all, and he moved out and that was the end of it, I was devastated. Without even trying at all, I lost almost 20 lbs in the following month or so. Of course once I was happy again and got my life back on track I gained it all back =P The fact there there is just so much on your shoulders right now and I'm sure you must feel pretty down in the dumps (except for your beautiful new gift ;D) I would just give it some time and see if once things start looking up, even just a little bit, see if that doesn't make a difference. Also, I would avoid that guy and surround yourself with cheerful loving people, not individuals who will put you down, you don't deserve that!