what works best for sex with a super dry vagina?

Yes, most of what you are describing is due to going through menopause and your hormone levels after that.

If your husband still likes oral sex, he can use that to put saliva down there and make you wet. It might even turn you on more, and make sex better for you. It is normal to need a lot more foreplay to get wet and ready.

After menopause, you are like a young girl before puberty. Your hormone levels and fluctuations, your vaginal walls and secretions, your cervical mucus are the same as 40/45 years ago.

The other things you used are for vaginal dryness and discomfort, not for a lack of lubrication during sex.

My suggestion will be to buy some personal lubricant (from the condom isle at your local supermarket or pharmacy). There are two types that can be used (avoid oil based ones): water based (cheap but not long lasting) and silicone based (more expensive, very slippery and long lasting).

There is no reason why you and your husband cannot have a healthy and fun sex drive as long as you both want to. Talk to your doctor about it if your sex drive becomes an issue. It is normally a sign of lowered testosterone (which is natural after menopause).

It is also good to continue having sex or masturbating to keep your genitals healthy and get blood flowing through them regularly. After menopause it becomes a 'use it or lose it' situation. Maybe not quite that dramatic, but it is advisable to keep active.

Best of luck!

Well the reason why your experiencing vaginal dryness is bc the mucous membranes and wall of the vagina become thinner which may lead to pain on intercourse and susceptibility to infections

just use KY

My wife and I are about the same respective ages. She also has dryness, so we have pretty much stopped having intercourse. But it's all good. I can still give her an orgasm orally or just by having her grind against my erect penis. You don't need to have penetration to have great sex.

Ejaculating inside her is actually very good for her. Your semen contains testosterone and some other chemicals that makes her feel good and happy. So that will keeper in good genital health for longer.

After oral sex, take a bit of personal lubricant on your finger and insert it inside her, and let he put someone our penis and go for it.

I am in Australia and there is a product called Sylk. It is a lubricant, non irritating, makes things wet and slippery. Good luck.

estrace 0.01 cream is the main treatment today to lubricate the vaginal walls and stretch them. Go to your primary or gyn doctor and have a candidate talk about it with them. When you feel a lot of pain you could be very dry, which causes irritation and even bleeding. I took 4 grams of this cream every day, once a day for two weeks. I then started 1 gram once a day, twice a week (wednesday and sundays). Oh what a relief it is!