I Love my husband even though he physically or emotionally abuses me atleast once a day (9-10 time is mental as apposed to physical)! We have been together a little more than 4 years, and married for 6 months. I agreed to get married hoping things would get better. To throw all this into the mix I have a 2 year old boy! Every time he hurts me I think of running away and living with my parents, but something stops me. I am not strong enough to be a single mother, and I am scared I will never see him again. He has never harmed our child, cause if he had he'd be dead, but he occasionally hits me in front of our son and I do not want him to think that it is ok. Why can't i leave him... I am so scared for us! To make things worse, there is a chance we are expect our second child! I feel that he still loves me but i recently discovered he had been neaten as a child. weather or not it has something to do with it or not, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! Help!
why dont you get some confidence, do you want your son to be like his father, hitting his wife and abusing, you will have to divorce your husband not because he hits or abuses you but now its a matter of your son's future and you need to think about him too, so for your sons's sake, get some courage and leave this relationship before it harms his mental growth too!!
You and your son deserves to be happy. Being battered is too much for a wonderful person like you. You need to love yourself first, protect your son's life and choose to live in tranquility. I'd like to share this beautiful bible verse to you --> Cast your cares upon the Lord, for he cares about - I Peter 5:7
God doesnt solve our problems, we have to deal with them ourselv
I refuse to believe that God solves our problems. HE DOESNT!!!!!!!! When I never prayed my life was lovely. After marriage my life was utter hell and I prayed so hard yet nothing worked out positively. Finally I got fed up and filed for divorce. Now I'm divorced! God never solved my problems, I did! But frankly I'm not even happy now. I miss him husband terribly though I never want to see his bloody face again in this life at least. He has emotionally and physically abused me and chosen his parents over his wife!! I HATE HIM!!!! But I cant move on in life. He has affected me so badly that it can never heal maybe. God never solved any of my problems. He created those problems for me by getting me married to my husband. Now I'm divorced and stopped praying and LIFE IS TENSION FREE!!!
There is no room in a relationship for abuse of any kind. It is also rare that an abuser will stop abusing. Are you frightened of him? If you can you talk to him and he agrees to undertake anger management classes that may be the way to go.
If you suspect (in your heart of hearts) that he will not or cannot change then get out of the relationship. You owe it to yourself and your child.
I'm telling you from experience that your husband WILL NOT stop the abuse. It will only escalate and then your child will start being the victim of abuse. I'm telling you this b/c I'm in an abusive marriage (like you're in...more emotional than physical). I have 2 young boys from my soon to be ex, and I must tell you I stayed in the marriage for the wrong reasons. I stayed in it for my boys, but over time I've realized that this is not what my boys need. They deserve to be happy at all times and live free, not walk on egg shells at all times and wonder what daddy may do next. Yes, the abuser will convince you that he'll change, but that'll only happen temporarily. Trust me when I say this...GET OUT! Yes, you may not be able to find the courage to leave, but you owe it to yourself and your child. Your child doesn't deserve to be in this situation, and neither do you. I'm sure you're a wonderful mom to your child and are very smart, you just have to look deep within inside of you and find that courage to leave the situation. I know you can do it. It's better to be a single mommy than living like this day in and day out. No one deserves that life. That is no life and you know it. Take it from a fairly young mother in her early 30's that will soon be raising 3 boys on her own (ages 10, 6, 5). Yes, it's scary, but in the long run it'll be the best decision I've taken for my children and myself. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to send me an email. I know the pain you're going through, so don't feel like you're the only one out their facing this. Keep your chin up and know that you're worth it. Take Care.
Please do some surfing on internet on the issue of - "abusive husband"-"abusive cycle"-"how to plan to get out of abusive relationship"- "symptums of abusive relationship" and so on. I have been in abusive marriage for 17 years till one day I surfed on internet on this topic and it opened my eyes. I am now divorced and happy. We can not afford lot of money to go to get professional help to see the things through and through but internet is giving you all those advises which you will get in clinics. Please know few facts about abusive relationship :_ 1) They never change. Read about abusive cycle and you will get a clear picture. 2) Even if he seeks professional help, the success rate is only 2% - I repeat the sucees rate is only 2% and the remaining 98% continue their behaviour after a while. 3)Your child will abuse his/her partner one day if you won't get out soon. You will distroy him by not getting out. 4) Plan-get a job, save some money, tape him when he is abusing you and go to police station to report when you have marks on your body. 5)Divource is not easy and the period when you are going through divorce is much more filled with sadness and tension than what you are facing now. But remember, staying with him is life long problem and going through divorce is short time problem. 6) Go visit some social welfare groups for woman and abusive help centers for woman. They will also provide you with free lawer. 7) Talk to friends and relatives to get help. Best of luck...