Broken Hearted Forum - What should I do ?

Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum > What should I do ?

Q: What should I do ?

asked by: thomas130 on May 5th, 2008

New User

While working at an supermarket I really fell in love with this girl however she didn’t want me which cause a lot of pain and destroy my confidence with relationships which is the reason why I now keep people at arms length. The day she left I nearly broke down I knew it would be the last time I would see her I know I probably sound really pathetic.

Away over the last year which I haven’t seen her I got my myself a new job and going to collage which my work place is paying for which I doing my HNC in Computing and Information system. I have also being going out with my mates and plan on going on Holiday with them even though I knew I still care about her I new it was pointless and thought I was getting on with my life.

A few days we added each other on www.facebook.com and I sent her an E-mail telling her I was really sorry for the way I acted in the past and wanted her to forgive me. I also mention I hope she was well and happy with someone. The thing that really hurting at the moment is that she hasn’t replied back. I also look at someone of her photo's she is a beautiful as I remember and it hurt’s me knowing that I’m not part of her life.

What should I do how do I stop caring about this person ? I hope nobody thinks I weird or something.

Replies(8)

mominashoe

replied on May 5th, 2008

Supporter

No, you aren't weird or something. Unrequited love is an age old thing that most of us have experienced at one time or another. All because you weren't lucky with this girl doesn't mean that you will fail in all other relationships. You should try with other girls and broaden your horizons. It also doesn't mean that later on she might not consider you as a possible boyfriend.

Since you are in college and probably don't have the time to commit to a very serious relationship, just chat with her and be casual. Give her insight to the person you really are without making undue advances. If it's something that is going to really work out in the long run, then it will work. Be honest and truthful.

The reason why she hasn't replied might just be that she hasn't even opened her computer or had the time to look. All because email and internet is instant, doesn't mean that the person on the other end is any less busy at the moment. She simply may not have even read your message yet, and even if she has, maybe she just needs a little more time to answer.

thomas130

replied on May 5th, 2008

New User

Collage is only part time has I have a full time job what the problem is that I never see her anymore because the only time we was together when we work at Sainsbury’s neither of us do anymore and we kind of left on bad terms. The only connection I have is on facebook which is really quite sad really. I still want to be with her and be there for her but I know it will never happen because there no way I will be able to see in person anymore.

thomas130

replied on August 5th, 2008

New User

Well it has been while since I last updated this post I got much better for a while where in fact I did'nt really think about her that much and did'nt feel depressed. However the last two days for some strange reason it's really being hurting me again. I really miss her but I know no good will come if I try to contact her again and I don't want her to feel like I am haressing her. I really made a hole for myself with her which I cannot get out. I just want to repair the damage that was done I don;t want to chase her for a relationship because I know she does'nt feel the same way I just really would like to be a friend to her.

mominashoe

replied on August 5th, 2008

Supporter

At the risk of sounding cliche...time heals all. It will take longer the deeper it is inside you. When you are "healed" it does mean that you will completely forget. Humans are just not made that way. Certain things will trigger your emotions and your memory, things that are associated with her in your mind: it could be as simple as a color or a smell. Once you feel that you've gotten over something, boom, there's the same song you were listening to when you first saw her....and you may not even have noticed that that song was being played while you saw her and that's your brains association.

Just give yourself time and use this experience as a lesson for future relationships and building your character.

thomas130

replied on August 5th, 2008

New User

Does the fact I still care for person even though I know that she does'nt care about my make a stalker. I just really scare because I hope she does't think I am tha type of person

mominashoe

replied on August 6th, 2008

Supporter

Being a stalker takes action. If you were excessively checking up on her, following her around on the internet or in person or both, then that is stalking. If you just like her, then that's just an emotion and there's nothing you can do about that.

thomas130

replied on August 6th, 2008

New User

I never follow her around i would'nt do that the only thing I did was add her on facebook went her message which I think i came off strong. Since that I have'nt sent her a thing and deleted my facebook. I just really worried she thinks I some weirdo.

Is it wrong for me to still care about someone I have'nt seen in over a year

mominashoe

replied on August 6th, 2008

Supporter

No it isn't wrong to still care. Like I said, it's an emotion and feelings are just that way. It's human. Normally I don't like to talk about myself, but I still care in a strange way about my old flames from 15 years ago.

Why are you worried about what she thinks? You hardly know her very well and she definitely doesn't know you. Don't gauge who you are as a person by what you think someone thinks of you: it only makes you have negative feelings about youself and you can't enhance your life and move forward.

You definitely aren't stalking if you deleted her from facebook and haven't seen her. You should explore other possible relationships or concentrate on something you love to do.

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