I can't get my head straight. I have so many thoughts and worries, all i can do when i think about how helpless I feel is cry. My mom is going through a divorce with my emotionally abusive stepfather. My 10 year old brother is his son and he is trying to say my mother is unfit to gain custody. He says this after my mom has taken care without any of his help besides paying the bills 4 children for the 12 years theyve been married. The hard part about this on me is, my mother keeps complaining to me, saying she should give up and let my stepdad keep my brother. I feel like if i don't convince her otherwise itll be my fault that my brother ends up with his abusive dad. I feel so heavy. I feel like i have to be happy and be strong for my mother and all i want to do is scream and panic. I wish she didn't complain to me so much. She complains to me about it all and i feel like i have to say and do the right things to solve her problems. Is that right? I wish she was stronger. But i'm 18, i'm an adult so maybe i should be able to handle this. When i think about 18 year old kids who've had to adobt their brothers and sisters i feel guilty just complaining about my situation. Ive forced myself to talk about all the drama concerning the divorce because i think its supposed to be good for you to talk about it but it feels so forced and unnatural when i do. I know none of my friends or anyone i tell my situaion to will be able to fix it either. So what's the point? There is none. I feel helpless. I feel weak and for that i feel like i'm becoming my mother. Maybe this is the time when i reach inside yourself and give it all you got even when you feel like you have nothing. But when can you just be what you are? When is it okay to sad and weak? It seems like you can only do that for long before the world eats you alive. Maybe i should make tomorrow the day i suck it up stand up straight and be strong because its what i have to do. Maybe this is the period in my life where i grow up. I found this page because i googled "i feel so alone". I read a post that someone feeling depressed had written and was moved when i read comments of people that could relate. I guess i just wanted to know if other people have felt this way.
Hey hun so sorry to here about your problems....I'm no expert though all i can give you is my advice.....I bet your mum has no idea you feel like this does she?....and you need to tell her...if you tell her how you feel then you will feel better in yourself and also you both will be able to deal with the problems together instead of your mum telling them all to you and you not telling her anything back....I hope i helped hun....anytime you need to talk just pm me....best of luck...Jenny