Medical Questions > Relationships > Family Relationships Forum

What's fair in a family with 2 kids?!

Relationships
I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore
what he fails to realize is i'm a people...
what to do? i just feel so lonely.
Family Relationships
My dad and what he has done to us.
my mother abuses and neglects me. what c...
What are the options in this situation.
Related Topics
What is RBB? baseline ekg was abnormal a...
What 's RBB?
what can i use to induce my period?
July 6th, 2011
So basically I'm 25 years old and my sister is going to be 21 next month. I have held 2 jobs since I was 16, paid for most of my own clothes and gas and "spending money" in general, including spending money for my senior trip in high school. When I graduated and turned 18 I instantly got off my parents cell phone bill and have had my own and began paying my car insurance and also bought my own car. Basically by 19 I was completely self sufficient including paying for my own food. Thenonly thing I didn't pay for was the roof over my head, but that changed when I turned 21! Now I pay $240 a month for "rent" to my parents $120 each payday, and while it's not a lot I pay for everything else myself and also am still in school and I work 2 jobs but I just got moved to part time at my one job because of school. Now, my sister on the other hand has worked probably a total of MAYBE 1 full year of her life. Shecwas recently fired from her last job becuause she couldn't keep up with her 5 hours every 2 weeks commitment. She also goes to school full time and is completely dependent on my parents. So I wouldn't mind paying rent if come next month my sister was made to do so but she doesntvwork and she's mommy and daddy's little girl so she won't. When I've confronted my mom over it she says she agrees with me yet never does anything about it and still expects me to pay rent and her excuse is "you're father and I are in debt and I need ur money forvspending money". REALLY?!? so I have to suffer and struggle and be in debt because you continued to pay for your 21 year old?! What am I missing here? Does anyone have any kind of tips on how I can get through this and get it through they're heads?? I'm desperate and to the point where I'm starting to resent/hate them and it makes me not want to be around them. If I could afford to be on my own I certainly would already! Please help me!!!
Did you find this post helpful?
|
AmyA
replied July 13th, 2011
Active User, very eHealthy
I know you have tried speaking to your mum alone and she says she agrees, but have you tried getting your mum, dad and sister sitting down at the table and talking about it as a family.

It might help your parents understand how you're feeling and that you don't think it's very fair how you're expected to be in debt to try and help your paretns when your younger sister isn't paying her own way. Your parents aren't going to be around forever and sooner or later your sister will have to pay her own way. Personally I feel the sooner the better as she will gain some independance.

I'm not saying you're parents shouldn't give you or her money occassionally but the fact you're expected to pay your way and she doesn't does seem very unfair.

Try writing down what you're feeling so that when it comes to talking about it together you know what you want to say and don't forget anything. Don't let your tempers rise as this will probably end in a screaming match and you won't get anywhere. If you feel yourself getting annoyed, call a break and take 5 minutes away and go back clearer minded.

Have you tried looking into a shared accomadation? You have your own room but you share the living room, kitchen and bathroom and pay rent sometimes the rent includes bills other times it doesn't.

Sorry my reply is long winded but I hope this is able to help you in some way.

Good luck
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Tags: afford, food, gas, head
Quick Reply
Sign up for FREE weekly health tips!
... Saving
Ask a doctor