am going to try to sum it up as best as possible:
- In 6th grade my parents divorced.my sister and i were pulled in both directions, brain washed, told by both parties what we should say to the judge. basically extremely ugly divorce and they didn't even have money!
- my stepdad always favored my half sister who is his biological daughter. I am not.dont know my real dad.
- 7th grade I didn't have a mom around.
- my step dad was psychically and verbally abusive. When I was 8 or littler he pulled a butcher knife to my throat.
- At around 14 I had a traumatic event. My step dad touched me inappropriately. Long story short went to court was called a liar and all these awful stuff.He was found not guilty.
- had to go live with my mom, which is where the trouble began. was in a new state (basically culture shock i want to say)
- went to middle school than switched school districts and the real trouble began.
on a side note my mom did try to have me talk to a psychologist but i don't know why I refused.
- in 9th grade I had people asking if I was on drugs (which I was not). It was like I was hyper and high all the time.
- couldn't make friends
- couldn't concentrate and my grades slipped really bad. I also couldn't grasp the information.
- 10th grade I slipped into depression and had thoughts of suicide.
- I didn't know how to act around people. I came from the country, not the city.
- switched schools within the school district.
- 11th grade I tried again. I realized I needed help. Especially with learning.I was a failure in math but, I loved it and wanted to learn but couldn't grasp it or concentrate.
- my mom and i started fighting. she told me i was just lazy and i didn't have anything wrong with me. I beg to differ.
- 12th grade year it showed that I didn't have any friends.My grades were bad. I remember I would be tired and I just love to sleep. I could sleep the day away. My baby teeth finally all fell out (at the end of senior year).I had no motivation, I just gave up. I would go home and just cry at times (this has been going on since 9th grade). I missed my horses and my life that involved horses but I could never have that back again. I barely graduated. i heard about college but i felt like i was never given detailed information. like how to apply and things like that. any way my ACT & SAT were so low. I nearly didn't graduate. the math teacher was kind enough to pass me on my final.
- around 11th grade was when my mom started dating and getting serious. I believe when I graduated they got married.and we moved into his house.this is when my mom and i got tensed.the man she married didn't know that I didn't know my real dad and I think there is a lot he doesn't know. This is where just way to much drama happened. basically i got kicked out of the house. I was seeing a guy that later on down the road shouldn't and didn't want to date. but when i got kicked out luckily my mom managed to get me a car.but i had no place to go. NOTHING!this boyfriend at the time took me in and we got into our fights.i had enrolled at the last minute at a community college so this ordeal and schoolwork didnt turn out so well. and my mom wondered why I didn't do so well? my mom and her husband let me live with them again. but i couldn't stop seeing my bf because i was afraid i was going to get kicked out. of course i did again. and i ran back to him. he was a liar and a manipulator. my mom let me come back. i accidentally ran into the curb so now i had no car. there was a lot to this drama but i dont have time to write it.
- had an abortion. this guy was just a fling. this was just horrible!i had NO HELP. my mom was snippy and said its your choice. well i got the abortion only to find out 2 weeks or so my mom was pregnant and we would have been due in the same month. that hurt me so much i still can't forgive her.
- tried to go back to school but I kept failing. and with no car i was always stuck in my room. didn't have friends to hang out. NOTHING!
- I finally joined the Air force but couldn't stand there bs. lasted for about 3 months.
- I went back home and was there for about 2 months and made the random decision to move SEVERAL states away from my mom. no job.but i moved to a different city within the state in which now i am doing a lot better. i have my own place and plan to enroll in 2 classes this fall.
- i have had somebody for the past 3 months who has been able to put up with me. but he has told me i need to go get help. he says i can be so mean and a downright b*.that i am unmotivated.he says I somehow piss people off.
-I still feel hurt and robbed of my high school years. I never got the chance to have those memories and than college ones.I am still unable to make friends. I am tired of living likes this.
Please do not judge! I just need some advice. I plan on calling a psychiatrist to get help and maybe a rehab center would be next.I have never gotten into drugs nor have been an alcoholic!
due to my poor work ethics and unable to keep a job I am now working as an Escort. PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ME. I actually love it and I am ALWAYS safe about it and take precautions.it shows though i am not good with social skills.
if you have read this THANK YOU SO MUCH! Need all the help I can get.
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